AIBU??? Help Please

[candlerings]

13yo DD always complaining that she has no clothes so OH took her shopping today. I said she need some new shoes and they decide £50 was reasonable but couldn't find any nice ones so she added £20 of her own money. She found a £75 pair of "fenty puma creepers?" which she claims she has wanted for a year. He said she could have them but when I got home I said that was A ridiculous amount and that she couldn't have them even though she had her hopes up and was told she could. I just don't agree with that price for shoes! She is now in tears and has gone up to her room.... AIBU? WWYD?

It is a lot for trainers but if my DC were into brands and suggested paying the difference it would be acceptable to me.
Who paid the other 5 quid?

As she is putting her own money to it I'd let her have it. Shoes and stuff like that is expensive even if you are only 13.
My ds (then aged 10) saved for a year to buy a pair of football boots that I wouldn't buy and got a good deal in a sale (but still expensive in my mind).

I would have let her have them - you have effectively overridden your DH which isn't great. She has put £20 of her own money to them, so you are effectively kicking up a fuss over £5.

I think it's fair she gets them if she's added her own money to the budget.

It seems unfair that she is contributing the extra out of her own money and yet you still wont let her have them.
I think YABU.

She's putting her own money to it, your DH said she could have them and you've just undermined him and upset her over £5? Storm in a teacup and totally unnecessary.

Could you tell her to search online first to see if she can find them cheaper elewhere. Then agree to her getting them if that's the best price?

That way you wont be undermining your DH as much

I would let her gave them. She hasn't took you for granted, she's paid the difference which is quite s mature compromise.

Also you have undermined your DH which is never a good things with teenagers.

Hold your hands up and say your initial reaction was wrong but in future you could ask them to call you just to discuss any big purchases before making them.

Bless her.

YABU sorry. She has been very grown up to contribute the extra cost and your OH had sorted and dealt with the situation perfectly. I think it is sad her day out has ended like this when she was so happy with them. Hope you can sort it out with her.

£75 isn't unreasonable for a pair of trainers at 13, (I pay £40-£60 for my 2 year old) And if she's no longer fitting child sizes (which I'm presuming not as £75 is average price for adult Pumas) then you must be prepared for her shoes to be costing a lot more now.
Sure you could maybe find some cheaper ones but as she's a teenager I'm doubting she's going to want to be wearing the cheaper brands, and she did put some of her own money towards them so she must very much want them.

Another yabu I'm afraid, she's put her own money in and £75 is not that much as far as trainers go. It will teach her to look after them hopefully!!

YABU - I'd have asked her to pay £25. Great shoes btw I love creepers!

I might be wrong but IMO if she has wanted them fir a year and is happy and wanting to put her own money towards them to buy them i would allow her to have them, i think its kind of unfair that she was told by your OH she could have them and had her hopes crushed by you who decided she couldnt. They must mean alot to her and i bet she would treasure them? Money well spend anyway with shoes especially trainers id rather my DS have reliable ones which wont fall apart in the rain ect! And anyway i think £75 isnt really that expensive nowadays for trainers of good quality/brand? Would you rather have her needing new ones sooner or tell her to make those last and she can have them and look after them instead of cheaper ones that are much less robust? IDK this is all just my view anyways. Goodluck 👍❤️

I would let her have them. Pick your battles. Then they can't reasonably claim you are always saying 'no'

Yabu

www.offspring.co.uk/view/product/offspring_catalog/2,20/2498105992080?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIhs3bmP_81QIVQ5PtCh27AQuPEAQYASABEgIG9vD_BwE

Free next day delivery, down to £65 if that's better?

Wtf the link worked a minute ago? Sorry.

Ah thanks LittleLights I can't work out how to fix it though, it won't let me edit on google to change it.

I cannot understand what the issue to be honest? Yabu.

Undermining your dh isn't good op. . Surely he is entitled to make parenting decisions also?

She was willing to put in £20 of her pocket money. I doubt she's earning (apart from possibly a paper round?) and you effectively sacked her off for a fiver??? I'm not surprised she's pissed off. You changed the goalposts and didn't negotiate. There were plenty of ways you could've made this work without forking out more money than you were personally comfortable with.
No you wouldn't buy a pair of shoes for £75, but she was willing to contribute and you cut her off. Nice one.

YABU. Yes' it's a lot for trainers but she is paying towards them. In your shoes (sorry!) I would actually apologise to her for overacting too. I would explain that you were shocked at the price and now you have considered it and taken in to account that she is contributing, you are happy for her to buy them.

Yabu.