DS12 wants to have girlfriend over when we're out. WWYD?

[hoopyloopy2]

DS12 thinks I am being 'ridiculous' for not allowing gf to come over unless dh or I are in. He is regularly home alone for a couple of hours after school when I am still at work.

He says they're 12, so not intending to 'get up to anything'. But I feel it's important to set this ground rule now.

Anyone have any experience to share?

I think your DH is being VERY naive! I wouldn't allow this at all.

Ha ha ha, nice try DS but no way!

MrsJoy - it's not DH disagreeing with me (thankfully!). Just DS.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Not happening, no way, nice try!
Yes only 12, sweet that he actually asked you instead of just letting her over anyway (me at 12 would have just done that)
But no, not saying your DS cannot be trusted. He asked so shows he is a good lad. But I don't think it is just your decision. i would say her parents should give permission too.

No no no yanbu at all! They're only 12 yes but... just no.

What's the problem with having a friend pop by? When are they supposed to spend time together? It's probably a bit late for her to be out by the time you get home from work.

They are 12, Is he not allowed female friends?

What an over reaction.

No.

Isn't 12 a bit young to be having girlfriend over unsupervised

No way would I allow this. For many many reasons.

Big fuss over nothing. MN is so weird about kids having friends of the opposite sex.

And in fact, honestly, I wouldn't encourage my kids to have serious relationships at that age at all.

Over reaction. Big time.

chasinghighs I read the op as meaning that they are in a relationship?

I doubt its a serious relationship.

Oh fgs they are 12. I expect he will have a different 'GF' next month.

Op states gf not female friend. .

I have teen ds x3 and it would be a no from me.

1. If they're old enough to be bf and gf, they're old enough to get carried away
2. Even if they're not old enough to get carried away, how the hell are you going to discern when that moment arrives?

With an adult about, room door open, no real privacy, until they reach whatever age you're going to leave it up to them.

They will probably just eat all your crisps and watch the telly.

Omg hahaha

Yes my kids are allowed friends over, even if they are girl/boy friend. At any age.

It's their house too surely?

Surely the problem is that if you allow it at a ,probably, innocent friends only age, how will you then change the rules when be is fourteen, fifteen etc and much more likely to get up to something sexual. However, teens that want to mess about will anyway, that's what parks and alleyways are for.

However, teens that want to mess about will anyway, that's what parks and alleyways are for.

Sorry to derail but are you SERIOUSLY saying you would be happy with your teenager shagging up an alleyway

Thanks for all the views. Yes they are boyfriend & girlfriend rather than friends, but nothing more than lots of heart emojis and a RL quick peck of a kiss. But still.

Plymouthmaid - exactly. This is why I set the rule. Not for now as much as for in a year or two when it would be difficult to change things.

When I got home from work ds had cooled off and was less annoyed.

Interesting to see how varied people's views are on this.

And for those thinking it's an overreaction at 12, see this recent post. He'll be 13 in 3 months so think it's a bit naive to say all they'd be doing is eating crisps and watching telly.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/teenagers/2062095-13-year-old-son-having-sex-with-13-year-old-gf

It is interesting to see the varied views. I'm really surprised that kids read a certain age and suddenly they are not allowed someone over based on gender.

I always encouraged mine to brings friends and boy/girl friends over. Teaching trust is important.