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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

My 15yr old daughter and her boyfriend.

41 replies

Chloo · 08/07/2017 10:27

So basically my daughter who is 15 and 16 in December has had a boyfriend for nearly a year and a half, we like him and he's got really good manners. But we are scared boys only want one things, however I know my daughter is open with me so I know she would tell me anything she is worried about, she wants her boyfriend round today in her room, she does go to his house on a Friday and Saturday night and I'm fine with this. What do I do? Should I let them?

OP posts:

AddictedToDrPepper · 08/07/2017 10:39

If she already goes to his house Friday and Saturday night what's the issue?

Original poster

Chloo · 08/07/2017 10:42

I think It's the fact we don't know what they are doing if me and her dad are downstairs.

OP posts:

MrsKlugscheisser · 08/07/2017 10:43

They'll be shagging, like they are when she stays over at his.

Polly99 · 08/07/2017 10:43

Do you know what they are doing at his house?

Onhold · 08/07/2017 10:43

You don't know what they are doing at his house.

Original poster

Chloo · 08/07/2017 10:44

They watch a movie and chill, and I know that thy do this because his parents have told me.

OP posts:

Onhold · 08/07/2017 10:44

Get her to leave her door open if it bothers you

Original poster

Chloo · 08/07/2017 10:45

Do you think 15 years old is a suitable age?

OP posts:

Onhold · 08/07/2017 10:46

Suitable age for what?

LadyPenelopeCantDance · 08/07/2017 10:46

Please google Netflix and Chill. It isn't watching a movie and chilling!

AddictedToDrPepper · 08/07/2017 10:47

Set some ground rules then? If they're in the bedroom, keep the door open. If she's expecting him to sleep over/she's sleeping at his however then unfortunately they're already having sex.

Talk to her about contraception, about not doing anything before she feels ready, make sure she definitely knows she can come to you without fear of judgement or anger if they are having sex and she needs some kind of emergency contraception. And remember, it's much better that you know what's happening and that it's happening in a safe place than them having to find places to be alone together that could potentially be dangerous or get them into trouble.

Original poster

Chloo · 08/07/2017 10:48

For going in her room? And I know for a fact she'll tell me if she wants to even do anything with him.

OP posts:

Onhold · 08/07/2017 10:49

I'd be fine with it, but others won't be.

AgentProvocateur · 08/07/2017 10:51

Did his parents tell you they just watched Netflix and chilled?

AddictedToDrPepper · 08/07/2017 10:52

If you know she'd tell you then I really don't see the problem

Angeldt · 08/07/2017 10:53

Sadly there comes a time in a childs/young adults life when they begin to branch out on themselves and one aspect of that is having there own secrets from parents. Yes you have a good relationship with her but that will not stop her from having a sex life and keeping that from you. Of course as her mother you will not want to contemplate that fact but likely she is. Sit her down and ask about contraception and sex health.

SaltyBitch · 08/07/2017 10:55

If they want to fuck, they will. Doesn't really matter what any of the parents involved think.

Tilapia · 08/07/2017 10:57

They sound pretty sensible OP. I'd let them have some independence at this age (and have a serious chat with my DD about contraception).

AndNowItIsSeven · 08/07/2017 10:58

She is 15 still a child your time is to protect her. The law is16 for very good reason.

viques · 08/07/2017 11:15

Also talk to her seriously about STD. Articles this week about antibiotic resistant gonorrhoea, getting her into the mindset of insisting on condom use (in addition to her contraceptive protection) could help her in the future - and the boyfriend too. She probably won't listen because teens are bomb proof, but it might sink in eventually.

musicposy · 08/07/2017 11:20

Given that they are already watching Netflix and chilling at his house , there's nothing to be lost by letting him in her room, I'd say.

rizlett · 08/07/2017 11:28

My mum always thought I'd talk to her about everything too - but I was embarrassed and ended up pregnant at 15 - please make sure your d knows where to get contraception.

iwishiwasrichandthin · 08/07/2017 11:36

If she's going to have sex with him she'll do it anyway, anywhere. Personally I would prefer them both safe and at home than in a car park or seedy club toilets any day.

Teenageromance · 08/07/2017 17:30

Please don't always assume they are having sex. People tend to do this on here at the moment but there are still teenagers out there who think it is a serious move to get sexually involved in a relationship and are in no hurry to do so. The people who jump on here seem to always assume teenagers are at it at the least opportunity. That's not my experience of teens at all.

ladybee28 · 08/07/2017 17:36

AndNowItIsSeven that's hilarious. What is the very good reason for sex being fine on someone's 16th birthday and not the day before?

OP – unless 'going in her room' is a euphemism I don't understand, and you trust your daughter and she's well-informed about safe sex, I think she'll be fine.

Don't just talk to her about contraception, buy her some (whether her boyfriend goes in her room or not). When I was that age, it was using condoms that was the problem, it was putting a box on the counter of a store where people could see me.

And you sound pretty confident that you trust your daughter, so trust her

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