14yo DD bought DH some chocolate for his birthday last week. He went to get some last night and it had gone... The empty box was found under DD's bed this morning, along with some of my make up, all trashed.
The room is horrific, used tampons on the floor, used make up wipes strewn about the place, can't see the floor at all, dirty plates and glasses everywhere​. Daren't open her wardrobe. Blood on the sheets on her bed, she's clearly sleeping on the mattress without the sheet covering it properly.
I'm at my wit's end. She was a fairly tidy preteen, this seems to have been triggered by puberty. She knows it's unacceptable. She has had help to keep on top of it. It got so bad last year, that I bin bagged everything, rubbish and all, and gave it back to her a bag a day to sort out. Other people's stuff had gone missing in there, which was what triggered the clear out. There was 18 bags worth of stuff, rammed under her bed and in her wardrobes.
I tolerate mess but can't cope with the dirtiness of it, and the fact that despite agreeing that the rules (put clean washing away, no dirty plates, dirty washing in basket, rubbish in bin, don't take other people's stuff without asking) are reasonable and fair she just blatantly disregards them.
I'm devastated that she thinks it's ok to just take our stuff and trash it.
This kind of thing has happened before and she agreed it was wrong, apologised, agreed that the sanctions were fair (removal of pocket money to pay for damaged stuff) but here we are again.
When she gets home her phone will be removed until the end of the week. No lifts anywhere. Pocket money to be used to replace stuff - this will take around a month.
She's great otherwise, friendly and sociable, polite, doing well at school. It's the blatant disregard for other peoples property that pisses me off. FFS if she'd asked to borrow my eyeshadow I would have let her, but she's gone in my room, taken it from my makeup bag and then left it on her bedroom floor with the plastic casing broken. And dh's chocolate, she bloody bought it for him and then thought it fine to eat it herself! She's not even supposed to eat in her room due to previous issues with rubbish, and there never being any crisps or biscuits left for anyone else.
How how do I tackle this? It feels like fucking groundhog day, any sanctions don't work at all.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.
Teenagers
Another messy room thread but with the added extra bonus of sticky fingered teen...
13 replies
PaintTheWholeWorld · 19/06/2017 11:35
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.