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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Please help my 12 year old shaved her upper lip

27 replies

AAAPS · 08/06/2017 23:32

Hi mums...need some help.my DD who is 12 yrs old just told me that sge shaved her upper lip today.The girls in her class have been teasing her for having a moustache and she has been quite upset about it.She doesn't understand that she has made it worse. Can you suggest me how do I fix it ? I would have suggested getting it waxed but she couldnt wait.Please help me....I am getting scared with teenage approaching soon !!

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 08/06/2017 23:34

I think I'd take her to a beauty salon and get some expert help. Poor thing.

RJnomore1 · 08/06/2017 23:35

She hasn't made it worse.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 08/06/2017 23:35

First sign of regrowth bleach it with Jolen sensitive (use it on my 8 yr old - absolutely fine) then when long enough (you can rebleach it when more grows through) take her to get it waxed or threaded

mogulfield · 08/06/2017 23:36

That's awful she's being teased, and how stressful that she's made it worse.

I've had laser hair removal and it was fantastic, all hair gone and no stubble. Maybe wax her lip until she can have that as a birthday/Christmas present?

mogulfield · 08/06/2017 23:37

I used Jolen for years, it did mask it quite well unless you were standing very close!

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 08/06/2017 23:37

She hasn't done any lasting harm. I shave mine - I'm allergic to the bleach and wax, and too wimpy to thread. It doesn't encourage thicker regrowth, just the ends of the hairs are blunt so it seems thicker.

gamerchick · 08/06/2017 23:38

Why all the drama? Confused seriously man this is not the end of the world and she hasn't made it worse Confused

Personally I use an electric shaver every morning but my daughter favours face wax strips. There are various methods but shaving is far the quickest.

upwardsandonwards33 · 08/06/2017 23:40

Talk to her and tell her that it's perfectly normal to have hair there but if she wants to get rid of it ( which is completely understandable ), that there are other methods than shaving. So explain waxing / threading/ laser but find a very reputable beauty therapist who you know is trustworthy to go to. Tell your dd that the hair may come thru very quickly after shaving but that you will sort it out. Also I would avoid the depilatory creams as they can cause allergic reactions and you want to be extra cautious on such young skin.

It's great that she has a mum like you to talk to about such things.

SeriousSocks · 08/06/2017 23:40

Threading gets even the shortest of hairs, much shorter than was will catch. Like pp said, bleach it with Jolen sensitive then get it threaded very soon. If you can afford it, get it threaded a few times close together to catch all the shaved hairs as they come through and then you can start waxing at home every month or so?

PurpleDaisies · 08/06/2017 23:45

She hasn't made it worse. She's removed the hair. Confused

I can understand why someone in her position would do that. Has she cut herself or something? There are better ways but what she's done isn't a disaster.

GplanAddict · 08/06/2017 23:47

I did this at her age, poor thing. Everyone talks about the usual puberty symptoms but not the extra hair you can get when your a bit more hairy than normal.

Firstly, reassure her it's normal. Please tell her by the time her friends are in their 30's they'll have hair there too, most likely. I really hated the idea that I was a freak. Even thought I might not be properly female and genuinely didn't think I'd be able to have children (small boobs and irratic periods too) until I had them!

Jolen I think is the best way to go as other pp have said. If she's not happy with the Jolen coverage, I'd recomend the hair removal cream before waxing, as waxing can mean ingrown hairs. Don't go down the laser route now as it will not do anything until her hormones settle.

Funnyfarmer · 08/06/2017 23:48

How has she made it worse?
Did she have noticeable hairs to begin with or have classmates made her feel paranoid over nothing?

Loopytiles · 08/06/2017 23:53

I did this at that age. An option would be to keep (electric) shaving til summer holidays then (after a patch test and making sure she never leaves it on too long and gets scabs) growing back and switching to a "sensitive" depilatory cream every few weeks.

Out2pasture · 09/06/2017 00:01

a mild bleaching product until long enough to thread or wax/sugar. make the appointment now for two-three weeks time.

TheDonald · 11/06/2017 21:01

I did exactly the same at age 13 - for the same reason. I've done it every 2 weeks since and I'm 42. It is absolutely fine.

It's never grown thicker. Much better than nasty chemicals or bleaching, which just means you have a blonde tache. And threading is painful and a bit embarrassing for a 12 yo.

Maybe get her a ladyshave so she's less likely to cut herself in the future and just don't make a big deal of it.

Aquamarine1029 · 15/06/2017 02:41

She hasn't made it worse by shaving. That is a total bullshit myth. Support her by taking her to a salon to get it waxed.

MaryTheCanary · 15/06/2017 03:12

Shaving has no effect on hair thickness.

BigYellowJumper · 15/06/2017 03:32

I use an eyebrow razor every day on my upper lip. Takes two seconds and you can't see any stubble at all.

orangeglove · 15/06/2017 04:26

I've shaved mine for years. Never made it worse.

Ginger782 · 15/06/2017 04:44

How has she made it worse? Hmm

Google dermaplaning...it's great. Using a fine razor (like an eyebrow razor) on all the peach fuzz anywhere on your face has amazing results. Honest! Google it. She doesn't have to wax or thread if she doesn't want to.

Italiangreyhound · 15/06/2017 05:08

I pluck the hairs on my face and now they are very fine and hardly noticeable. No idea if this is relevant. I've got quite dark hair so they would be noticeable if I did not. My mu used to bleach hers. Hair on the body is normal.

Take your dd to a salon and find the solution that works best for her.

I agonized over my dd (also 12) wanting to shave her legs, she now does it and all is fine. Her choice.

Talk to your dd about how to handle the teasing (bullying). You could speak to school but only if your dd wants you to and only if you feel this is the best way to handle it.

Personally, I would encourage her to develop a care free "Oh bloody hell do we have to talk about this again." Attitude. If she has a good friend in the group she should be able to get the friend to join in in deflecting these statements/teasing. "Not again, give it a rest it is so boring!"

I feel really sad girls do this to each other, it;s body shaming and it is wrong, wrong, wrong. The school should tackle this without naming names but I would only involve school if you dd wants you to.

My dd has a few spots at the moment, but I also know she is just about the most beautiful girl on the planet, make she your dd knows she is also just about the most beautiful girl on he planet, and deserves great friends who value and support her.

Italiangreyhound · 15/06/2017 05:08

pluck with tweezers, I mean.

LedaP · 15/06/2017 05:49

I shave mine. Have for years. It doesnt make it worse.

I started using one of those springy hair removers to get rid of all the peach fuzz on my face and now use that on my lip. Its wuock and easy.

BusterGonad · 15/06/2017 05:56

She hasn't made it worse, that is BS, get her a mini electric shaver for eyebrows and face, or try Veet if her skin isn't sensitive. Don't bleach it, there's only one thing worse than a hairy upper lip and that's one with a ginger/white bleached tash!

Amee1992x · 21/06/2017 16:12

I'm a beauty therapist I won my own salon, take her to a salon any reputable place will have you fill out a consultation and give your concent anyways. I have a few girls ages 13/14 who have their upper lip & eyebrows waxed with their parents there.