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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

15-year-old DD holiday with boyfriend

33 replies

nickthedad · 08/06/2017 15:48

My 15-year-old daughter has been invited to spend a week in Center Parcs with her boyfriend and his parents. The parents have extended the invite. Separate rooms. I'm not happy about it. Daughter's mother thinks its a good idea. I have shared custody. I think she's too young and should be out with her friends. Am I wrong?

OP posts:
leonardthelemming · 08/06/2017 19:17

When you consider that in less than a year - when she's 16 - she can go on holiday with her boyfriend without his parents, and you cannot realistically stop her, then no, she is not too young.

Ragwort · 08/06/2017 19:21

I have a 16 year old DS and I wouldn't want him to have a 'serious' girl friend at this age, not one that would be invited on holiday with us God forbid.

It's a tricky situation as if you 'forbid' it, your DD will of course blame you, just how serious is she about this boy? Have you met him? Do you like his family? (I am aware that I sound like my own parents now when I first starting having boy friends Grin).

Quietwhenreading · 08/06/2017 19:23

Whether you allow it or not depends on your daughter really, you know her best.

I went away on holiday with my boyfriend and his parents (separate rooms) when I was that age.

He also came on holiday with my family.

What are your specific concerns?

ineedamoreadultieradult · 08/06/2017 19:25

I really don't see the problem. If they wanted to have sex they would have done it already.

SomeOtherFuckers · 08/06/2017 19:26

If parents are there and separate rooms then it sounds fun

Teenageromance · 08/06/2017 19:27

Leonard - of course you can stop them at 16. How are they going to fund it?

Redsippycup · 08/06/2017 19:30

Depends on if you trust her, him and her family to enforce / abide by the seperate rooms deal.

MrsDustyBusty · 08/06/2017 19:31

I was going to say certainly not OK, but if his parents are going to chaperone, I can't see too much harm in it.

Piratesandpants · 08/06/2017 19:31

His parents are there and they will have separate rooms. Sounds fine. It's worth remembering that they are probably good friends as well as boyfriend/girlfriend.

PlymouthMaid1 · 08/06/2017 19:32

I would allow it and I was a terribly protective parent. I think I would like to meet the parents for a chat first just to make sure that there wouldn't be a shedload of available alcohol but centre parks is pretty tame. As said above, any hooky will be happening anyway.

PlymouthMaid1 · 08/06/2017 19:32

Nooky

fluffiphlox · 08/06/2017 19:37

Are you from Victorian times? Dads and their daughters!

Sycamorewindmills · 08/06/2017 19:38

Will she be just 15 or nearly 16? A young 15 or sensible 15?

namefail · 08/06/2017 19:40

I don't see the problem? family holiday, separate rooms, parents present.

leonardthelemming · 08/06/2017 19:42

Leonard - of course you can stop them at 16. How are they going to fund it?

By working - I think that's a fairly normal method of funding things.

Birdsbeesandtrees · 08/06/2017 19:43

Well when I was 16 I had a job - certainly enough to pay for a weekend away on the cheap. Few friends and I went to wales once. Shared rooms and so on but we managed it.

If the parents are there and desperate rooms I really don't see the harm.

Birdsbeesandtrees · 08/06/2017 19:43

Separate!!

Florin · 08/06/2017 19:44

If you trust the parents will keep an eye out then let her go. I met my boyfriend when I just turned 15, 18 years later we are married with a child.

Purplepicnic · 08/06/2017 19:48

You've not really said what the problem is. Being away without you? Chance of having sneaky sex? Relationship too serious?

requestingsunshine · 08/06/2017 19:49

She's going with him and his parents. Separate bedrooms. I wouldn't have a problem with it under those circumstances.

Sometimes you just need to trust that you've given them enough knowledge and guidance to do the right thing and make the right decisions for themselves. and then hope for the best. The big question really is,do you trust your dd?

DickHair73 · 08/06/2017 19:57

Is he an only child? It might also be that they'd like company for their DS. It will be costing them (especially at Center Parcs) getting an extra room. My dc are younger, but if I trusted the parents, and my DD wanted to go, I'd be happy about this.

LizzieMacQueen · 08/06/2017 20:25

My only concern would be if your child gets homesick. Is that likely?

Or the couple split up whilst they are away. That could be awkward.

lljkk · 08/06/2017 20:54

I'd be having a frank conversation with parents about how I didn't want sex to happen at 15. Reading another thread, it's clear some folk would be absolutely fine about that, but I wouldn't want to facilitate it... so I would want to know if the other parents felt the same.

TeenAndTween · 09/06/2017 11:50

I agree with lljkk it is one thing accepting something, another to facilitate. I would also be concerned regarding making this relationship to be more serious than it is / should be at this age.

But given the issues I've had with my teen over the past couple of years, I happily accept I could be completely wrong.

NewDayDawning · 09/06/2017 13:44

At 15 you have to trust that you have raised her to make the right decisions, if you don't trust her now it's probably too late because she'll be 16 soon anyway.

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