Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DD15 wants to go on the pill

74 replies

lookatmenow · 18/04/2017 12:54

DD is 15yrs old, year 10 doesn't have a boyfriend (that i know of), has spates of going out after school one week then the next always in on netflix or friends are at house.

She has asked about going on the pill for help with her periods. They cause her discomfort but nothing a couple of paracetamols can't deal with. She says she has heavy periods but again, only for a day or two then normal to light flow.

I'm reluctant to put her on the pill for these reasons but also don't want to risk saying no and wait if she has other reasons (sexual activity) which she isn't telling me.

i've spoken with her about my concerns above but if she's having or thinking about sex she's not going to tell me (at this time) so should i go ahead and book the doctors appointment?

OP posts:
JessKM · 18/04/2017 13:22

I think some of these replies are a bit unfair of OP, she's not trying to control her 15 year olds body but just wary of outcomes - I can't totally understand that, especially if it's her eldest DD and has no experience of this yet!

She's asking for friendly advice, not feminists with raging pitchforks. I'd be wary if it were my little girl too!!

On a side note - PP who said about their daughter fainting ShockShockShock i didn't know that was even possible that poor girl. Periods are bad enough to start with. Is she okay now?!

KellyBoo000 · 18/04/2017 13:22

I went on the pill at age 14 because of my periods. I also started having sex at the age of 14. There is no link between the two and up until I met my DH five years ago at the age of 21, I still always used a condom.

Giving your permission (that she doesn't need anyway) for her to go on the pill isn't going to encourage her to have sex. She will have sex when she wants to regardless, and if she does then at least she is being responsible about it.

AnyFucker · 18/04/2017 13:23

Also talk to her about barrier contraception if you suspect sexual activity

The Pill alone is not enough.

claraschu · 18/04/2017 13:23

I have a 15 year old daughter too...
I would try to get my daughter to understand all the possible side effects, not just the glossed over version given by a GP eager to keep a teenager from getting pregnant. Lots of people have subtle (or not so subtle) unwanted side effects from taking the pill. I think teenagers may be particularly unable to have the perspective to notice changes in their moods, weight, libido, etc.

PerspicaciaTick · 18/04/2017 13:23

She is asking for your support, not your permission.

Are you saying that you believe your DD is promiscuous (rather than struggling with her periods) and participating in risky sexual behaviour? If that is the case then I think you need to ensure she knows that she must always use a condom (in addition to being on the pill) and try and explore ways of boosting her self-esteem so she has the sex she wants rather than what other people demand of her.

NotCarylChurchill · 18/04/2017 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsJayy · 18/04/2017 13:24

lookatmenow nobody wants their 15 year old having sex however you allowing her to see the gp isn't enabiling her to be sexually active iyswim

let her go they are usually very on top of talking about contraceptives and sexual health at the appointment she will be fine it is really hard for us parents realising they are growing up Flowers

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 18/04/2017 13:24

Your argument makes no sense at all.

You don't believe that she really has bad periods, so presumably you think she's sexual active (or planning to be). If this is the case, why on earth wouldn't you want her to be taking the pill?

Either way, it's her body and her choice. Not allowing the pill won't stop her having sex if she plans to.

usernumbernine · 18/04/2017 13:24

That "I don't believe her motives" has utterly shocked me.

Madonna whore complex right there.

I thought times had changed.

Crapuccino · 18/04/2017 13:25

See if you can't use the appointment as a way to encourage her to confide in you, OP. Tell her that yes, you support her fully, and you'll take her, and help her as best as you can with choosing the best pill for her, taking it every day, monitoring the side-effects, choosing another if the first doesn't work out, etc.. Then once you have it, ask her if she wants it for more than just the period? Accept her answer without pouncing and even if you still feel she's holding back, and rest in the knowledge that even if she is using it as a contraceptive but doesn't want to tell you, at least she's much better protected than if she isn't.

MrsJayy · 18/04/2017 13:25

Tbf on Gps and in my limited experience of just 2 dds they were very good and didn't just doll out the pill.

RockyBird · 18/04/2017 13:28

Suggest ibruprofen rather than paracetamol.

It's her body, her choice about the pill. Do discuss safe sex with her too though.

Semaphorically · 18/04/2017 13:29

I agree with the PPs about bodily autonomy, it's her call.

But you should also make sure she understands the side effects of the pill and how to spot them - for example it makes my mood go haywire, I cannot handle hormonal contraception. Not all pills suit everyone, and some people suit none of them.

Has she tried naproxen? Paracetamol is useless for just about every type of pain I've ever had including period pain.

frenchfancy · 18/04/2017 13:30

Can I recommend that you (or rather your DD) visits a family planning clinic rather than the GP. They have much more experience in dealing with this, have more time to talk and are more likely to put forward the alternatives.

One other point to note is to watch your DDs mood, if she has any problems with anxiety or depression then any hormone treatment can make it worse. (I speak from experience)

Nicnak2223 · 18/04/2017 13:34

Does she have any symptoms that the pill will improve. I was in the pill from 16 fro contraception and my periods were no different I just had a tablet to take. Obviously unless she wants a mini pill so she doesn't bleed.

Maybe take her to (or advise her to go) see a nurse/sexual health clinic to discuss as I doubt the will hand it out unless she needs it. Unless she dies want it for contraception.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 18/04/2017 13:37

Her Motives? Shock

theotherendofthesockportal · 18/04/2017 13:40

My mother ignores me when I asked for help with my heavy periods. I told her I had heard that the pill wound help and she still didn't take me to the doctors. I was a very timid 15 year old and didn't have the confidence to go to the doctor on my own. I ended up severely anaemic because of my periods. Please take your daughter seriously, the doctor may not prescribe the pill but may be able to help in another way.

Original poster
lookatmenow · 18/04/2017 13:45

Thanks for all your replies. It is hard, she is my eldest and i'm learning about teenage years along with her.

At times I have to remind myself that she is growing up and i have no control but can only advise and listen and hope that she doesn't make too many mistake but if she does she'll learn form them - i just don't want her hurt - ever!

Doctors is booked, she's happy and lines of communication between us are intact.

OP posts:
usernumbernine · 18/04/2017 13:46

My mother ignored me too - she thought you only got period problems at the perimenopause - and I was determined that my girls wouldn't suffer as I did so I made the "and if you're periods are heavy or painful let me know and we can go to the doctor there's things they can do to help" part of the periods and puberty talk.

And both of my girls (big age gap) were put straight on the pill by the doctor when they described their symptoms. With monitoring by doctor and me - and they were given different pills due to the symptoms they described (at least I assume that's why?)

Crapuccino · 18/04/2017 13:47

Way to go OP. Both fifteen year old me and contemporary me are giving you a big hi-five right now.

KellyBoo000 · 18/04/2017 13:53

It's always nice to see an OP take on the advice they've been given! Even if after the appointment your daughter chooses not to go on the pill, she will still thank you, as you've proven that you're willing to listen and take onboard her feelings and opinions.

Original poster
lookatmenow · 18/04/2017 13:53

Crapuccino thanks, much appreciated.

just now need to know how i can keep her from having a thigh tattoo (which is a gorgeous design) until she's 18 :)

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 18/04/2017 13:55

That is great Op another hurdle crossed

usernumbernine · 18/04/2017 13:56

Nice one OP Flowers

terrylene · 18/04/2017 13:57

Paracetamol does absolutely nothing for period pain. I had the most awful periods after I started using paracetamol (used asprin before that but it became deeply unfashionable for some reason Hmm )

Ibuprofen is much better and there are other things that can help, both OTC and from the doctor.

Swipe left for the next trending thread