Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

13 year old daughter asking for wkd?

106 replies

jodie230104 · 15/02/2017 23:24

So today on friday my 13 year old daughter is having a sleepover with her best friend, and she asked me for some wkd blue for the sleepover. Shes pretty sensible but Im not sure what to say to her as I want her to feel mature and that im treating her like like shes mature but I dont want her to think its ok to just drink alcohol whenever if u know what i mean x

OP posts:

MaisyPops · 16/02/2017 09:03

At 15 or so all our parents were ok with other parebts getting some beers and wkd/smirnkff ice etc 1-2 drinks each and nothing more. Logic being that sensibly drinking was better than drinking bottles kf whatever could be bought/acquired in secret.

13? Not a chance.

SnugglySnerd · 16/02/2017 09:06

When I was that age my friend's mum invited me to her big 40th birthday party. We were each allowed a small glass of champagne at the start of the party and it was soft drinks only from that point forward. We were fine and we felt very grown up having a "proper drink". However, that's very different to unsupervised drinking in a bedroom or whatever. I got very drunk at a sleepover when I was about 15. Neither my mum or the host's parents had any idea we were drinking in the bedroom and were absolutely horrified, especially after I was sick all over the bathroom!

Abetes · 16/02/2017 09:36

She's too young. You should say no.

ProfYaffle · 16/02/2017 09:38

No, No and thrice No.

My dd1 is 13 in a few weeks - I've never had this sort of request from her or any of her friends.

Wolfiefan · 16/02/2017 09:39

You say no.
You don't blame the school. Hahahahaha at a teenager telling their parent everyone else is doing it! You get that's bollocks don't you?!

MirandaWest · 16/02/2017 09:41

You just say no.

My DS is 13. He's had a lager shandy and has had the odd sip of corona.

I would not give him alcopops for a sleepover. I also doubt that "everyone" at your DDs school is drinking alcopops.

You are the parent - you get to say no.

BertieBotts · 16/02/2017 09:42

Erm, no.

Be the adult. Of course "all her friends are allowed it"

Get them some coke and haribo and let them choose a DVD, FFS! At 15 or 16, maybe. Not 13.

GinIsIn · 16/02/2017 09:43

Not a chance! And those sweet, sickly alcopops are the least mature thing there is - they encourage young people to drink them because they don't taste like booze.

When I was 13, we were allowed a very small glass of red wine with dinner on occasion, or a single glass of champagne at a family event, and learned that alcohol was something that one consumed in moderation for occasions and nice meals, not something you down as a dare on a sleepover.

harleysmammy · 16/02/2017 09:48

I'd have been grounded if i'd even asked for alcopops at that age. Even at 16 my dad refused to buy me any form of drink, even when out for a family meal. He'd have gone even more mental if he found out i'd gone to a friends and their parents had let me drink. She's 13, whether she acts 13 or 23, her liver is still a 13 year old liver and in no way ready to be introduced to alcohol. If you let her, she'll think "oh its okay to have a drink, mum let me" and before she's left school she'll be at every house party drinking. If she knows you dont like/want her drinking, she'll maybe think twice about it because she doesnt want to get into trouble

Hercules12 · 16/02/2017 09:52

I think I'd be veryour tempted to ground her too although this may be counterproductive. Either way I'd be keeping a very close eye on her. I have a 13 year old dd and there is no way this would be acceptable. If you did this abe I was the other parent I would be beyond furious.

d270r0 · 16/02/2017 09:54

No way. Shes only 13. She is not old enough to be drinking socially with friends. You say yes to this and she thinks its ok, she'll by at the park drinking/smoking. Also- shes asking for such a specific thing, suggests to me shes definitely had it before so I'd be watching out for who shes hanging out with and what they're doing.

AllaboutsheZ · 16/02/2017 09:57

Agree, 13 is too young. When I was 15 a friends mum used to buy use a bottle of (low percentage) wine, when we'd have a sleepover. She said it was best she brought it and could supervise, rather than us going out and getting random people to supply it. I have to say I agree, and I will probably buy my son alcohol (if he asks), but I think 15/16 would be the minimum age.

RayofFuckingSunshine · 16/02/2017 09:57

Were you actually contemplating saying yes OP?

Darthvadersmuuuum · 16/02/2017 10:01

What Fenella said.

She is your daughter, not your friend. Time to parent-up!

Original poster

jodie230104 · 16/02/2017 10:03

Just to clear things up, i might of phrased it wrong I had already said no to her having alcohol there is no way I would let her have any and Im not sure where all this has suddenly came from because I dont drink alcohol I have the odd glass of wine or two at a wedding or family meal and her father has the odd glass is lager.

OP posts:

Darthvadersmuuuum · 16/02/2017 10:12

In which case, I would be concerned about who she is associating with. Have you asked her why she wants to drink alcohol?

amytz165 · 16/02/2017 10:16

When I asked her I got the response "on other people in my years snapchats they are drinking wkd and smirnoff ice" she showed it to me and Im shocked as to how they got it or how their parents have allowed them to drink alcohol at 13.

amytz165 · 16/02/2017 10:17

Ps: I had a similar problem ^

Ashley81 · 16/02/2017 10:20

I was very curious at 13. I would definitely want to know if she had drunk them before and if any one had given them to her at another sleepover. I would explain to her that it is illegal and you would get in a lot of trouble if you were to buy for her and her friends that way you are not just saying NO. And tell her when it is ok, so when she is (18) she can have alcohol at her party and she can always have a shandy or something similar at special occasions.

vaseofflowerss · 16/02/2017 10:22

That's a whole 5 years off the legal age in the U.K. 8 years off other counties legal age.

An immature 13 year old asking isn't really the problem. Kids will try their luck. I don't doubt some 13 year olds have a few alcopops they have sneaked out of the house or whatever, most parents wouldn't actually knowingly allow it though.

Your attitude towards it is worrying. Rather than just saying no, you turn to an Internet forum to check first

Ashley81 · 16/02/2017 10:22

I pretty sure it's an offence to give someone else's child alcohol and if it isn't ....it should be! I would definitely want to know who has been offering it to the children!

chloesmumtoo · 16/02/2017 10:37

No I don't agree either. Ds was older when he suddenly started been given alcohol at other peoples houses/sleepovers but I still felt annoyed about it, wondering how the parents felt it was their right to decide if my ds drank. Dd is few years older than yours atm but would not be asking for wkd. Yes her mates are experimenting with alcohol but not on my watch Don't get me wrong, once I realized this was happening in dd's friend group, I have allowed dd to sample minuscule tastes to not feel she needs to sample things at a local park or other kids houses but thats as far as it has gone and is only now that I have allowed this. I did not want her to have the compulsion to try elsewhere iykwim. She fortunately hates all of it and can now tell mates she does not like it. It will only get worse too once you start it casually. The modern fad is to binge and believe me it is horrendous. My ds now an adult, drinks in excess aswell as all his mates, I defo would not start it early. I worry so much about what he is doing to himself and so do other parents with their dc in this particular age group. All were all good kids too.
Dd is fully aware of what goes on with her peers but believe me one thing leads to another. Already kids have been expelled with pills, smoke, smoke weed, having sex and getting drunk putting themselves at higher risk. Don't start things being excepted too soon. It will progress on to mates coming to your home just to get pissed.

kel1234 · 16/02/2017 10:46

I would say yes. As long as it was only a couple/ few. What is she like with other things?
I had my first drink when I was 8 (a very small drop of wine topped up with lemonade).
I've always said I'd rather my children drink at home, and drink drinks I buy, rather than drinking in secret, and trying to get other people to buy it for them.
It was my parents being like that with me that taught me how to be responsible with drinking.

MirandaWest · 16/02/2017 11:02

kel Would you really give your 13 year old a few wkd? And also the friend coming for the sleepover? Wouldn't that person be getting someone else to buy it for them?

GinIsIn · 16/02/2017 11:10

kel really? And you feel you are qualified to make that decision for other people's children also? Because that's what OP's DD is asking. You think you somehow know better and are qualified to distribute a prohibited substance to minors?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5