DD Suspended from Uni

[Velvetlady]

My 17 year old DD has been asked to leave her halls of residence and has been suspended from her course. Last week, she had friends round for a drink and things got out of hand. Neighbours complained to the Police about noise and a window was broken! One of DD's friends invited boys round once DD had gone to bed & one of them stole food belonging to her flatmates! My DD apologized to all involved and replaced the food and paid for the window to be fixed. However, the other day DD got called out of class to speak to the head of her course and the Accommodation Officer. They had a letter from DD's flatmate reporting her for drinking alcohol under age. DD was asked to leave the halls by 5pm and has been suspended from classes until a disciplinary hearing. DD wasn't able to pack her in time and had about half her belongings thrown out by the security guard. I'm so angry at DD! However, I do feel she has been treated harshly for one episode of bad behaviour. Has anyone else had a child go through a disciplinary at uni?

[ForgotStuff]

That's good that she has been allowed to stay. Hopefully the work load will be picking up and they will all be too busy working to be partying too much or having fights.

[ohdearme1958]

It's lovely to hear your DD is still at Uni 😊

[MrsJayy]

Hopefull she will keep her head down and just get on with her course, she got a real fright at consequence but she was overexcited and silly.

[MrsJayy]

Ach full of typos but you catch the gist

[Bluntness100]

I would also agree on holding fire here, the fact that neighbours were complaining to the police says a whole lot, because iif she's in halls, then the neighbours were other students. And if they call the police then uou know it was bad. Very bad, And the report from the flat mate could have been down to an interview she was requested to give. And it could be due to repeated behaviour that has become intolerable Plus to be fair, who the hell wants to live with that when they are trying to study.

She's not getting chucked out because she had a few drinks as a one off, and she ain't getting chucked out because someone nicked some food, she's getting chucked out because pf something much more serious.

I imagine you will find out fully at the hearing.

[Bluntness100]

Sorry, just read your last update,,! That's good she's staying on. It's tough and I hope she knuckles down, I suspect she will.

[Groovee]

Glad to read the update x

[Velvetlady]

It was the accumulation of DD setting of fire alarms accidentally, the party incident and the fact that DD had covered up smoke alarms as she was terrified of setting them off that lead to DD getting suspended as uni were concerned her actions would cause harm to others.

[ForgotStuff]

Your last post makes it far more understandable that the University have acted as they have. Covering up the fire alarms is really bad.

[Kr1stina]

Velvet - I'm really glad to hear your update . I think both the uni and you DD have made the right decision. I know you wanted her to take a year out but I think she might have lost her nerve and never gone back . Also she would be so embarassed for everyone to know she had been kicked out .

She's a smart girl who has made a few silly decisions and I'm sure that she will learn from this. It's a very tough thing to have gone through . For her and you both.

Hope you are ok too

[ohdearme1958]

Poor wee thing sounds as if she was in a real pickle.

[GruochMacAlpin]

She covered up fire alarms?

She's been very lucky to have been allowed to continue.

I hope that she's learned her lesson and things will go smoothly from now on.

Perhaps some cooking lessons for Christmas.

[ILoveAutumnLeaves]

Poor kid, what an awful start to Uni. It's not like she did anything awful, just a series of silly mistakes - she's 17 & in her first month away from home. It's hardly surprising.

I'm glad they've let her stay on the course & hopefully the rest of her old flat are on a different course. I hope the new flatmate is nice.

[ILoveAutumnLeaves]

Yes she covered up the smoke alarms, not a good idea, but she did it because she was SCARED of getting in trouble again, not as a prank.

[PikachuSayBoo]

Thanks for the update OP, glad she's staying on.

I was wondering about her yesterday actually. There was a story in the papers about a teacher who was drunk one night and shouting at a club bouncer. Someone videoed it and the clip did the rounds on social media. Her school have suspended her. So I guess teachers as well as nurses need to be extra careful.

[PikachuSayBoo]

Oh and I'm surprised a halls of residence with teenager cooks in it don't have heat detectors rather than smoke detector alarms. Would make more sense and save on the false alarms from burnt toast.

[ohdearme1958]

Thanks for the update OP, glad she's staying on. I was wondering about her yesterday actually. There was a story in the papers about a teacher who was drunk one night and shouting at a club bouncer. Someone videoed it and the clip did the rounds on social media. Her school have suspended her. So I guess teachers as well as nurses need to be extra careful

I saw that today. She was disgusting and I wouldn't want her near my grandchildren.

The sight of her spitting in the video was ugly in the extreme. It was all very ugly.

[redexpat]

Im not surprised she is withdrawn. Poor girl is probably second guessing her every move. Its hard learning to be an adult and i can see how a series of small incidents has snowballed.

[OutDamnedWind]

Oh dear, can see how a set of silly decisions snowballed as someone else said.

It's a shame it's come to this and that it's now scared her, but if she wants to do nursing it is a stricter situation. If you can, in a few weeks, perhaps encourage her to explore some of the slightly more 'wholesome' societies for a way to meet people that don't revolve around partying. Anything from dance to a sport she's not tried before, Scouts/Guides anything.

[ForgotStuff]

I don't think covering up the heat or smoke detectors was a 'silly' decision I think it was really really stupid and irresponsible decision. I'm glad the OPs DD has been allowed to continue her course but she sounds like her behaviour was awful. The fact that it's been taken seriously will hopefully give her the motivation to change.
If I was the OP I'd be really dissapointed.

[Kr1stina]

If you can, in a few weeks, perhaps encourage her to explore some of the slightly more 'wholesome' societies for a way to meet people that don't revolve around partying. Anything from dance to a sport she's not tried before, Scouts/Guides anything

This is excellent advice . I was tee total when I was an undergraduate student ( I didn't like the taste of alcohol ) and I had an amazing social life . Not everything at uni is about getting pissed all the time .

[2kids2dogsnosense]

Just caught up with the thread.

SO glad your DD has got the opportunity to get back on track - and hopefully its an older, more mature flatmate, and away from the influence of other young students who might try to take advantage of her naivety, she will settle down a lot better.


Wishing her luck.

[UKcanuck]

Also just caught up with thread, thanks for coming back to give the closure OP! My DD is in first year too and some of the questions I get have made me realise that perhaps she wasn't really paying any attention to how stuff works: not to the smoke alarm extent (yet) but I can see how it could happen. Sounds like the punishment has fit the crime and she's getting a second chance, which it sounds like she's already benefitting from (though I hope she isn't scared for too long). Hope her next life lessons are more gently learnt!

[scaryclown]

classic example of hiw overkill punishmemts have an escalatingly bad effect and incetivise worse behaviour than they are trying to prevent in the firstplace.

unwittingly the uni have given a great lesson in poor target.setting and inappropriate sanctions leading to predictibly supra-negative effects. If she ever does policy, it will be a great example.