My DD decided last year after her 16th that she no longer wanted anything to do with myself, my DH and her half siblings. I split with her Dad many years ago and we had shared custody of her for over 13 years, she along with her older sister (who went to Uni 2 months before she left) stayed at his 2/3 times a week, with no problems. We have always been amicable and went to parents evenings together and spoke to each if there were any problems.
She and I always had a great relationship and chatted daily, she also got on well with her stepdad. She has never been particularly bothered about her siblings who are 7/8 years younger, she sort of tolerated them! All have them have been treated by myself and my DH exactly the same.
One thing she disliked is the fact we like to socialise (mainly in the summer at our local cricket club), she has always been a bit socially awkward so we never forced her to go with us and usually went on nights she was with her Dad, but the times we did take her she scowled the whole time until we eventually gave in and went home. She thinks all the people in our local pub are beneath her and often called them names, they are really great friends and neighbours, (her Dad is a bit of a snob, and has always been a bit up him self). I like to have a glass of wine, and have occasionally had one too many, but she seems to think I should NEVER drink (does not help her stepmum is teetotal, and the fact her step sister hates alcohol) her Dad likes a drink!!
Anyway 2 nights after her 16th, my DH and I were in the local pub, I got back about 7.30, my husband got back about half an hour later and we had a disagreement, he did go mad (never seen him do it before and has not done it since) anyway she called her Dad and he collected her and she has not stayed here since, it has been 333 days. I have seen her since about once a month on average either by going for a walk, or shopping, or for lunch or round for tea for a catch up, she has been to see her brother and sister about 4 times in all that time. We had a chat but she cannot tell me why she wants nothing to do with us anymore I feel like we are not good enough for her. In Jan she had a bit of a breakdown and was signed off school for 2 weeks and had to take anti anxiety pills (apparently she was getting pressure at school about her GCSE's). A couple of weeks later she announced she was Bi, which is not a problem. Anyway since the summer contact has been getting worse, and her texts (which is the way she communicates) asking when did I want to see her next, I feel like I am forcing her to come, so told her that she should feel like she wants to see us and not to feel obliged she has to, since then I have heard nothing, I have sent a couple of texts telling her I am there for her, and her school report was excellent and well done when she got an award. Her texts are not very personal and not loving. I am absolutely devastated and finding it all very hard to cope with. I have tried not to pressure or pester her, but I am feeling I have lost her and ache for the relationship we had. I spoke to her sister about it and they do not get on well at the moment, and she said that her sister spends most of the time in her bedroom at his house, she use to tell me she did not get on particularly well with her stepmum, although it was not a dislike or anything. Her own Dad has never told them he loves them and hardly ever hugs them, whereas we are totally different and hug lots and show love. I am not sure what to do, I feel desperate, my DH is livid with her for the stress she is putting me through.
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My 16 year old DD does not want anything to with me and my family anymore
16 replies
Sunflower444 · 20/10/2016 12:55
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