Do some kids stay nice or have I got it all to come?

[breakfastbap]

My work colleague can be a bit of a cow at times!

I have DS age 16 and DD 13 and to be fair they are really good kids. Both doing well at school, so far they've been no trouble at all, okay, they leave cups and plates around in their rooms, DS can eat me out of house and home and DD does a brilliant eye roll and can be a drama queen when she wants to be - her bedroom can be a tip at times too. DS has a small, stable circle of friends who he plays football with but most of his time he's studying, playing football and online gaming. No drinking, drugs or roaming the streets causing trouble. DD has a small circle of friends and apart from the obligatory piles of makeup and spending hours perfecting her pout and taking selfies she lounges around on her phone in her room etc.

Having said that there is never any really bad behaviour, they will help with chores if I ask them or if I ask them for help with anything they are always willing. They are generally polite, well behaved and have respect for our home and their belongings. They both like a hug, I'd like to think they can come to me about anything and we can talk openly and have a laugh over most things.

The point is my colleague who has had quite a bit of trouble with her 20 yr old son seems to think I've 'got it all to come' and that they are going to be a nightmare soon. She delights in saying 'once they start driving look out' or 'once they start drinking then you'll have your hands full' or 'once she's got a boyfriend look out - she'll be a handful'.

So, is that always the case? I know DS has said that he's got friends who smoke, have sex with their Gfs and one girl his yr is pregnant. I know it's going on at his age and I'm hoping that he has more sense than to bother (he appears to). DD I think may be slightly more rebellious and outgoing but so far she appears to be sensible.

Does anyone have good kids who stayed good kids or will they always go off the rails a little at some point?

Mine is pretty decent, but she has another 5 years to go. We have a laugh and enjoy each other's company up to a point!! She has her moments and issues but hasn't given me trouble of a major kind yet. DS is the one more likely to give grief, but he's not a teen yet - he's a charming cheeky chappie with a rebellious streak. I think it also depends on how you want to pick your battles. I turn a blind eye or lightly remprimand some things other parents may come down on heavily, but I am firm when it comes to more serious things and make sure they pull their weight around the house. Am not perfect, but I don't see point of going mad over every little thing.

Mine were fine dd1 was a moody lippy mare but no real bother apart from the moody . dramatic nonsense if I'm honest she was a twat Dd2 was always easy going but it was just teen stuff like you had

Interesting re MH isuues. My late mum had a 'nervous breakdown' in late teens (obv she told me in later years but I don't really know details) my late dad def suffered from anxiety to a large degree and myself to a lesser one, I am a massive worrier but I keep a lid on it as much as I can. Both DCs have had probs with anxiety so it is prob genetic more than anything. FIL also has big MH issues. I just think it was a lot more 'behind closed doors' than it is now.

Just wading in on the MH issues (DD is 12 so not quite there with the teenage part yet). I have always suffered from anxiety and think MH issues are pretty prevalent in my family. DD also suffers but the difference is she talks about it. I guess because unlike myself (and maybe others in my family) is isn't ignored or brushed off. I hope that and the fact that she is on the waiting list for CAMHS will be to her advantage and she will suffer less due to not bottling it up.

My eldest 2 are 18 and 20 and have always been nice. People loved telling me my then 1213/14/15 year old daughter would turn into a monster but I just couldn't see it ever happening.
She's 18 and still one of my favourite people in the world. My DS has always just quietly got on with life and at 20 he's still doing that!
My middle daughter has been difficult from birth and I'm going through a terrible time with her as an almost teen. But it was fully expected.
Personality doesn't change completely. Nice kids can stay nice kids! They may be a little more private or a bit moody but don't expect a complete Personality change.
From a MH point of view, my great grandmother had agoraphobia apparently all of her life. My grandmother is a complete hypochondriac with serious anxiety problems, my mum is pretty 'normal' and I've had anxiety all of my adult life.
Out of my 5 DC, I have a DS with mild anxiety but he copes and a DD with severe social phobia who doesn't even attend mainstream school despite being on medication and lots of CAHMS intervention.
I have 2 young DDs who seem fine although one tends to be a little more sensitive and anxious than the other.
Its interesting stuff but makes me sad for my DC.

Bobochic you say I work with lots of teens and their parents. I have yet to come across a problem teen who had effective parents! There are always longstanding parenting issues (usually poorly thought out decisions that set DC up to fail) when teenage DC are difficult (or worse). I would love to hear a few examples of these longstanding parenting issues. You seem to be suggesting that all problem teens have rubbish parents which is somewhat unhelpful for those struggling with difficult teens. My DD has been easy and is doing well, my DS has been lovely until 16 but the last few years have been quite bumpy. I've read books, I try to back off and don't sweat the small stuff. I don't think it's entirely down to me being a crap parent, I am by no means perfect, but some of his behaviour I think is purely homonal. Some helpful advice would be appreciated rather than suggesting it's just down to ineffective parenting! And OP, I hope you continue to have 'easy' DC, but I don't think you can be sure until you're out the otherside