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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Would you let your 17 year old go and stay with boyfriend at uni?

39 replies

Welshpoolmummy · 03/10/2016 11:51

He has half term at the end of October, and would like to go and stay with boyfriend who's at uni. 5 hours by train. Have been seeing each other since June.

OP posts:
alafolie29 · 03/10/2016 11:53

Yes.

OliviaBensonOnAGoodDay · 03/10/2016 11:55

Yes, think that's fine.

MrsJayy · 03/10/2016 11:56

Yes i would i dont think at 17 it is a case of letting them iyswim because you cant really stop them.

exexpat · 03/10/2016 11:56

Yes (with usual provisos about if he's normally sensible, you trust him re safe sex etc).

I went to visit boyfriends at uni when I was 17, even back in the 80s with relatively strict parents.

Mozfan1 · 03/10/2016 11:56

Yes

VimFuego101 · 03/10/2016 11:56

Technically they could leave home and move in with the boyfriend if they wanted to... So yes, I would let them.

BabyHaribo · 03/10/2016 12:01

Yes probably.

My mum let me and said bf is now my DH

lastqueenofscotland · 03/10/2016 12:02

Yes

HeyMacWey · 03/10/2016 12:05

Yes - agree with mrsjay - at this age 'letting them' is an odd thought process.

MrsJayy · 03/10/2016 12:07

My mum never let me do anything i was sneaking about with my bf (now dh) making up all sorts of tosh i vowed id never be like that with mine so by that age Dd1 was mature enough to make her own decisions and i let her stay at her boyfriends

Traalaa · 03/10/2016 12:07

Yes.

MrsJayy · 03/10/2016 12:08

And she stayed at her boyfriends rogue let got in there.

popthisoneout · 03/10/2016 12:08

You don't really 'let ' 17 years olds do stuff. They do what they want regardless and just don't tell you about it.

NerrSnerr · 03/10/2016 12:10

Yes I would. Surely she'll be leaving home soon anyway so a few independent trips beforehand will help her.

OhFuds · 03/10/2016 12:10

Yes, my DD is 17 and moved into uni last month. Even if she was at home I'd "let" her go stay with a boyfriend/girlfriend for the week.

Imnotaslimjim · 03/10/2016 12:14

I had a similar experience as MrsJayy my DP never "allowed" me to go anywhere or do anything so I was always getting into silly situations so I could have a bit of freedom, even at 18/19 yo (their house, their rules yada yada) I moved out at 19 into an EA relationship to get away from them. So I've promised that my DC's will get more freedom

From 16 they can leave home and legally have intercourse so I'd be giving my blessing but advising on being sensible etc.

MrsJayy · 03/10/2016 13:41

I was grounded at 18 GROUNDED !! They were ridiculosly strict and i stupidly went along with it i was working full time . The lies i told just to have a normal teenage life were pretty dangerous thinking back on it Blush

DiegeticMuch · 03/10/2016 20:23

Definitely.

19lottie82 · 03/10/2016 21:23

I think you have to.

Have you had the safe sex chat with her yet? Condoms AND the pill?

Offered to take her to the docs for the pill, if she's not already on it?

Lexilooo · 03/10/2016 21:31

HE wants to stay with HIS Boyfriend I don't think the pill is appropriate ☺ condoms and safe sex chat definitely and ensure that he is happy and comfortable with arrangements etc

Has he met any housemates? What sort of accommodation is it? Will halls allow guests?

MrsJayy · 03/10/2016 21:36

Yes it's a he I think a few posters read she Smile

19lottie82 · 03/10/2016 21:44

Doh! Sorry OP! Yes same opinion still applies, take out the pill part tho! Grin

rogueantimatter · 04/10/2016 10:24

I probably would. But I wouldn't be happy about it.

StirredNotShaken · 04/10/2016 12:58

yes.

bigTillyMint · 04/10/2016 15:11

I would, but DD and her bf have sensibly agreed to just be friends as he went off to uni in Sept and she is in her last year at school.

I went to visit my bf who was in his 2nd year at uni when I was in my last year at school. I went on the pill PDQ after a scare Grin