Apparently my 14 yr old DD is "a baby" as she doesnt want to drink

[Dafadddu]

And go on a bender this evening.

Her pals (so called) are going drinking to a field tonight. My DD diesnt like alcohol. Tried a gulp or so with me and hated it.

But she saw the instigator of this group -we can call her Wendy as i understand it means something on MN -say on Messenger group chat that "#### is a baby not drinking".

Call me old fashioned but im really fucked off. Since when is it a teenage crime to say no to a session if drinking at 14? She has now been removed from this chat group which i guess is really slating her. She isnt bothered but it bothers me.

Wendy got drunk 4 weeks ago. Wendy likes to drink with the boys. Wendy appears to argue with a lot. Her mum buys her the alcohol.

Ive told DD that she is not missing out on much and soon Wendy will be back at school being two faced and nice to DD's face. She does have another circle of friends who are close and are part of a sports team but they dont socialise.

Please tell me you have a 14yr old who isnt bothered with alcohol!

DS is 17 and has absolutely no interest in booze at all

I didn't get tipsy until last year at the age of 22 and I've never been drunk, I don't want to! I don't enjoy alcohol and I don't see the point in getting drunk to have a good time. I'm not a massive fan of alcohol and usually stick to Koppaberg/Old Mout Cider or Malibu & Coke... I know my limits though!

I had to check that I hadn't written this OP. My daughter is experiencing friendship upheavals because she won't go up to the fields and drink, or go to house parties and smoke weed. She's just not interested, and can see the inherent danger of being shit faced in a house full of older boys and strangers. :/

There is soo much social pressure on young teens to drink and I'm not just talking about now. There was in my day, nearly fifty years ago and there was when my dd was a teen. Be very proud of your dd.

I was fortunate with my dd because I sat her down and explained to her why it is not a good idea to drink at that age, one of the reasons being that it accentuates your libido and who would want a 14-year-old having to decide on whether or not to have an abortion? As I say I was fortunate because she actually listened to me that time.

So Wendy rules the roost in that group? Maybe something could be done with the other group that don't normally socialise, could you and your dd organise something?

Putting the drinking aside for a minute - to be fair, the way you say your daughter talks about Wendy is not very nice at all. ("I have hobbies, Wendy's hobby is checking her eyebrows" "Wendy is going to end up on '16 & pregnant'") If she's anything like as unpleasant to Wendy's face as the things she has said about to her to you, you can't really blame Wendy for not wanting to be friends!

It's probably best all round if your daughter finds new friends with similar interests to her.

Your DD is not being a baby because she doesn't want to get drunk.
She's being a grown up

How about helping dd get some social activities organised for her football friends? Are you involved with the team in any way?