Apparently my 14 yr old DD is "a baby" as she doesnt want to drink

[Dafadddu]

And go on a bender this evening.

Her pals (so called) are going drinking to a field tonight. My DD diesnt like alcohol. Tried a gulp or so with me and hated it.

But she saw the instigator of this group -we can call her Wendy as i understand it means something on MN -say on Messenger group chat that "#### is a baby not drinking".

Call me old fashioned but im really fucked off. Since when is it a teenage crime to say no to a session if drinking at 14? She has now been removed from this chat group which i guess is really slating her. She isnt bothered but it bothers me.

Wendy got drunk 4 weeks ago. Wendy likes to drink with the boys. Wendy appears to argue with a lot. Her mum buys her the alcohol.

Ive told DD that she is not missing out on much and soon Wendy will be back at school being two faced and nice to DD's face. She does have another circle of friends who are close and are part of a sports team but they dont socialise.

Please tell me you have a 14yr old who isnt bothered with alcohol!

[clippityclop]

How about helping dd get some social activities organised for her football friends? Are you involved with the team in any way?

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

Your DD is not being a baby because she doesn't want to get drunk.
She's being a grown up

[GinIsIn]

Putting the drinking aside for a minute - to be fair, the way you say your daughter talks about Wendy is not very nice at all. ("I have hobbies, Wendy's hobby is checking her eyebrows" "Wendy is going to end up on '16 & pregnant'") If she's anything like as unpleasant to Wendy's face as the things she has said about to her to you, you can't really blame Wendy for not wanting to be friends!

It's probably best all round if your daughter finds new friends with similar interests to her.

[Atenco]

There is soo much social pressure on young teens to drink and I'm not just talking about now. There was in my day, nearly fifty years ago and there was when my dd was a teen. Be very proud of your dd.

I was fortunate with my dd because I sat her down and explained to her why it is not a good idea to drink at that age, one of the reasons being that it accentuates your libido and who would want a 14-year-old having to decide on whether or not to have an abortion? As I say I was fortunate because she actually listened to me that time.

So Wendy rules the roost in that group? Maybe something could be done with the other group that don't normally socialise, could you and your dd organise something?

[MaudeandHarold]

I had to check that I hadn't written this OP. My daughter is experiencing friendship upheavals because she won't go up to the fields and drink, or go to house parties and smoke weed. She's just not interested, and can see the inherent danger of being shit faced in a house full of older boys and strangers. :/

[notamummy10]

I didn't get tipsy until last year at the age of 22 and I've never been drunk, I don't want to! I don't enjoy alcohol and I don't see the point in getting drunk to have a good time. I'm not a massive fan of alcohol and usually stick to Koppaberg/Old Mout Cider or Malibu & Coke... I know my limits though!

[sonlypuppyfat]

DS is 17 and has absolutely no interest in booze at all

[3littlefrogs]

My DD doesn't drink.
She has a lovely group of friends who do not judge or try to persuade her to drink.
She did have to work through the issues of extricating herself from certain groups, but, in the end, having kind, sensible, likeminded friends is much better than dealing with nasty, pathetic bullies.

The only thing you can do is encourage and support her in finding out of school activities where she can make new friends.

[Dafadddu]

Welljust to update, Wendy has totally excluded DD from the groupchat. They had 2 chats going with about 13 kids in it and Wendy has removed my DD from them. She found out that the gang had gone to the cinema the other day and that upset her that she wasn't invited. She messaged Wendy to enquire about being removed and Wendy replied "i didnt do it" and it clearly says on the chat "Wendy removed you from chat".

She has turned the tables and told DD that "you are the one using people". Bloodyhell DD doesnt go anywhere to use people!

Im just venting, dont expect anyone to reply!!

[JustDanceAddict]

My 14 year old is t interested in boozing & as far as I know hasn't drunk with friends. I do know some of her friends/peers do drink (& smoke weed), but not her. I'm lucky, as I'm sure her 12 yr old brother won't be as abstemious in a couple of years.

[TheWeeBabySeamus1]

I think it's great that your daughter has enough about her not to just go along with the crowd.

Her friend sound really spiteful and mean. I remember being 14, and tbh I did like a drink, but there were a few of us who didn't. No one ever fell out about it though.

[JinkxMonsoon]

I would be DELIGHTED that my 14 year old doesn't want to sit in the park getting pissed. Some people might say it's a rite of passage, but I don't think any good can come of it - especially at 14, which is so young.

[Timeforabiscuit]

Wendy is massively in the minority, and thankfully the number and amount drunk is decreasing the most amoungst younger people.

Alcohol and drugs appear to be out of fashion at the moment

[Hello247]

My daughter is 13 and not interested in drinking I have offered her a drink at home on special occasions but she will take a taste and then say she doesn't like it and goes back to coke or lemonade good on your daughter not to let this other girl pressure her

[Dafadddu]

Well i feel better teading these comments. I guess Wendy is in the minority! DD is a good girl fair play to her. I shall really praise her when she comes home from football this evening. Ive already told her not to eorry what Wendy thinks!

[MadameJosephine]

Sounds like a very sensible girl, not just about this but for her ability to resist peer pressure. Good for her!

My DS is almost 20 and at university and has never been a drinker, he's tasted alcohol a couple of times and didn't like it and doesn't really understand the attraction of getting drunk. One bonus is that financially he's a lot better off than a lot of other students as he doesn't waste his student loan on booze

[WankersHacksandThieves]

Sometimes I think they just escalate the bad behavour in the hope that someone gives enough of a care to ask them to stop. So Wendy's mum might think she is such a cool parent but in effect she is an arsehole. :o

[MiddleClassProblem]

Sounds like DD has her head screwed on. Be proud x

[WankersHacksandThieves]

To me it shows a lack of self esteem and confidence rather than the other way about. Getting to do what you want all the time without boundaries has the opposite effect to what you think it would. Having boundaries combined with praise and love and encouragement teaches your children that you care about them and their future. Letting them do what they want teaches them that you don't give a fuck. That's my view anyway.

[madmother1]

I have a 19 DS who is now teetotal! He got sick to death of chucking up and writing off whole days in bed with a hang over. There's nothing wrong with not drinking at her age.

[BikeRunSki]

Good for your DD OP!! The Wendy in my school year had twins on the day the rest of us got our O level results.

[Dafadddu]

He he wankers....dd did say few weeks ago that Wendy could one day be on "16 and pregnant." But i had to google it as i had no idea whar she was on about!!

[Spanielcrackers]

I have an 18 and a 21 year old who don't drink. They don't particularly like the taste or the loss of control, and they'd rather spend their money on clothes.

[WankersHacksandThieves]

It's not abnormal no, there seems to be this fallacy that all teenagers are out hanging about the park drinking and carrying on. the vast majority of them are sat in their rooms or on the sofa watching tv, playing video games or on social media and then going to specific hobbies such as sports/concerts etc.

I am sure when Wendy along with other teens have got themselves drunk and she or another girl are pregnant, Wendy's mum and the other parents will be chuffed. Who will be the baby then?

I have 16 and nearly 15 year olds btw. Not interested in hanging about the streets drinking in the slightest.