Teenage Daughter has no friends

[jo9832]

Hi just looking for some advice about my 15 year old daughter. She is good girl (well most of the time a bit gobby occasionally! ) getting good grades and helps around the house but never and i mean never socialises. She has one friend a lad she has known all her life and they walk to school together and she has people to sit with at lunch time. She had a "friend" for years but was replaced when a new girl arrived. I will never forget walking through our town centre and the "friend" and this new girl walked past us. My daughter collapsed crying into me as the friend hadnt mentioned anything. Things fizzled out and eventually my daughter told the girl she should just move on as they had obviously grown apart. Since then (over 6 months) she stays in or takes her nana into town in her wheel chair. Am i mad wanting her to be out and coming back late for tea etc like teenagers are suppose to do ? She is in year 10 so has another year left and has already told me she is not going to the prom as she has no one to go with. I have encouraged her to talk to new people or invite people over and she just says no. I also notice that no one ever likes any of her posts on facebook. I feel really sad for her.

[Trying2bgd]

I honestly believe that each of these kids will grow to become great adults. They will have buckets of empathy and kindness, and will never judge a book by its cover! Teenage years can be awful so am sending as much positivity and strength as I can muster to each of them and to all of you.

[jo9832]

Hi just an update
The issue with having no friends is just the same but she seems to have adapted to it . It still makes me feel very sad for her and school are aware. She is going on a school trip and some girls have said she can share with them ( I think the teacher had something to do with it) but she can't break into their group . She has recently been made deputy head girl and this has really boosted her confidence . I can't see things changing but at the moment she's not crying but I know during the summer she will not see anyone from school and that I think is sad . She goes into year 11 in September and I am hoping perhaps when she starts college things might change . Thanks for asking for an update 😀

[Azulita77]

Does anyone have older kids that don't socialise? My son is 19 and apart from going to the gym (usually alone) he doesn't go anywhere. He is away at University during term time but is home for four months summer break. He knows a lot of people and could easily find someone to go out with if he wanted to but has no interest. He is happy in his room on his IPad etc and says he is not bored. I'm glad he isn't out every night drinking as I would be even more worried but I would like him to have friends over or go to a friend's house but he just isn't interested.

[JustDanceAddict]

Update please! I am also pleased to report that DD has made a few new friends this term who she is seeing out of school and it's made a massive difference to her - she seems a lot happier. I hope this will continue for her into the GCSE years too.

[Rainbowqueeen]

So pleased for you just dance, that's lovely for your DD

Jo, if she has been made deputy head girls then the school must think all the other kids like and respect her or they wouldn't have done it otherwise. I hope the school trip helps your DD break into a nice group and that she can find some lovely friends at college.

[Trying2bgd]

I thought I would add to this thread an update. My dd had hoped when classes mixed this year she would be with other kids, unfortunately, she ended up with a lot of the same kids and with it the same problems. We have had a chat and she is going to do her best to join clubs and spend time with others and hopefully just be with nicer people rather than endure the drama and meaness of this group. I am hoping she will also try peer mentoring or counselling so she can share her feelings with others and get some support. It is heartbreaking as it is eating away at her self esteem.

[Trying2bgd]

I hope things continue to get better for all your kids. Again I honestly believe they will get through this and prove to be amazing young adults. I wish everyone only the best! Stay positive.

[Carmen12]

Omg your story is so simular to mine .it breaks my heart ..

[williamthomas1965]

Hi my name is Jean and i live in lichfield, i have a 14 year old daughter who is looking for a friend to go shopping, iceskating or for a coffee with. Jess enjoys school and is a good girl, she plays hockey and netball. If anybody has a teenage daughter and lives nearby who would like to find a good friend pls contact me. Jean.

[williamthomas1965]

Hi, my daughter has been trying to find some local friends to, i agree to a sort of connection between these teenagers. She has friends at school and clubs but hasn't had a best friend and is looking for a bestie to go shopping with, iceskating to the fair. She will be 15 in may and is looking for some girl friends nearby. She enjoys school and has a great personality. Any suggestions possibly as to how these girls could get together and poss find strength in each other and maybe a bestie for life.

[Fiona19800]

Hey I know this thread is so old but I came across it googling as my daughter has these same issues and my heart is broken for her. Every day I pray she’ll come home from school and say she’s been invited to do something but never happens.
All the kids in these posts must be adults now, did everything work out x

[loveisagirlnameddaisy]

Me too! Would love to know how some of these stories have turned out.

[flotsomandjetsome]

My DD was very similar up until year 11. I would always try and encourage her to stay positive and tell her she would find 'her tribe'.

Well she's just finished the first year of 6th form (same school but classes / students shuffle around going into 6th form) and I can tell you she's had the year of her life!

She has indeed found her tribe at school, has a social life for the 1st time and has also met a lovely boy, and from what she says and I can see they have a really great relationship.

Now we're the other side of it, it is clear that she was never going to be in with the in crowd (she was never invited to a single party in senior school) and neither were her friends or her boyfriend - but they are fantastic ... and funnily enough all seem to be having a bit of a 'glow up' so maybe they'll have the last laugh!

[Writercat]

Fab. It's so lovely to hear kids having good experiences.