Anyone else's teen spend ALL their time gaming?

[Trulygrumptious]

DS (14) spends all his spare time at home plugged in to his xbox.
During term time he plays sport 3/4 times a week and gets all his homework done on time.
However in the holidays when he has no reason/need to do other things he will spend whole days gaming.
Is everyone else's teen doing this too? My attempts to tempt him out of his room are increasingly unsuccessful!

At my ds's age I had my nose permanently in a book. He spends his time connected to friends and while some of his games are very undemanding shooter type things mostly he plays quite complex strategy games. He has gone off IT as a career and is thinking about politics instead, his debating, organising and leadership skills come as much from gaming as from schoolwork right now.

But then he has no issues with eating, sleeping, and everything else. Any obsessive interest is a problem I think.

I think that's a good rule of thumb Travelled As long as the gaming doesn't take precedence over living and it's not an addiction, then hopefully there's not too much of a problem.

Nooka I can imagine that certain games require quite good leadership skills. Trying to organise a group of teens as a coherent unit must take some doing!

Interesting Gummy, how did these kids turn their passion into careers, did they go through college?

I don't think that ds plays with teenagers mostly. There seem to be a lot of college students in his current group, but he's played with all ages really. You can play lots of interesting strategy games, ds is currently into one where you are in a regiment, so as you get more senior in the ranks you have to organise training sessions and then command your group in battles with other groups. He spends lots of time promoting and demoting people from what I can tell. The other game I find interesting is a nation building game where you have to run your own country and participate in UN type groups. It has interesting ethical dilemmas, and lots of arguments!

I have one here to who spends his spare time gaming. He's doing well at school, always does his homework, is happy, but yes I do worry he's on if too much

Hormonal Mostly they taught themselves to code and started making their own games, then took the games to shows and expos and got networking.

I know a lot of people doing games design at college and looking at promising careers. Some are going into games design or games testing, some into more information analysis, or web/ app design. The skills are very transferable, most companies need someone to create digital content.

sooooo relieved to hear that other DSs are doing the same as mine! My ds seems to keep on top of homework and classwork, plays footie, rugby & cricket and is very happy to socialise, but would, given the chance spend ALL day in front of a screen.

I just can't bear hours of shouting at players in FIFA and the level of stress associated with gaming. And the worst part is the arguments we have about getting off the pS4. Its always "just going to finish the match/just 5 more minutes" which drives me up the wall. One evening when I had cooked supper and called him to come and got the "just five more minutes" routine I told him his supper would go in the bin if he wasn't at the table in 5 minutes, and in the bin it went. Hasn't happened since!

Screens are off at 8.30pm weekdays, 9pm weekends. That causes no end of grief, I am officially the worst mother in the world!

Thanks Gummy that's really helpful, will have a word with ds after GCSE hell over.

Tempo I know exactly what you mean about non-arrival at dinner. I now shout once and then the router gets flicked off if DS doesn't show. That caused untold stress as he 'loses everything'. Like you it doesn't happen now
However, I have found that allowing late night gaming at weekends reduces the friction/nominations for worst parent award as I can then say 'Well you were on late last night so its not all bad'. I also remind him that some of his friends aren't allowed online at all during the week. (That slipped his mind in the 'but all my friends do....' line.)

I have found the responses on here quite reassuring.

DH and I always say that if there's any evidence that DS2's screen time is getting in the way of his academic studies then we will come down hard and implement restrictions. We were sure that his end of term report was going to have some issues and we were getting ready for a confrontation, then when it arrived it was all A*s and As. DH kind of rolled his eyes at me when he thought DS couldn't see, and I'm sure I saw just the trace of a smug smile from DS .

I always wonder if parents would be like 'oh my god my child is spending too much time playing his rubics cube and jigsaw puzzle'.

Grays I would say anything in excess is worrying but I would without a doubt prefer my ds to be playing jigsaws than shooting zombies online.. and somehow I doubt I'm the only one.

Why though? Just because you find it distasteful or there's some real resistance at the 'screen issue'?

Games are much more than just shooting. There's critical thinking, puzzles to solve, strategic thinking, team work and planning of resources, hand eye coordination... there's studies on this actually which you may find interesting. Children benefit cognitively much more than they would sitting there doing a jigsaw.

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201502/cognitive-benefits-playing-video-games

You might find this interesting and there's sources from some of the studies I was talking about.

Purple bluebird - World of Warcraft has a lot to answer for...!

I have been gaming since Pong came out which was 40 years ago though I have had some periods of time where my career and being a Mum has meant I just couldn't do it so much. My DS is also a hardcore gamer, my DD was never so interested.

He is not allowed to have a console or PC in his bedroom and we have our gaming stuff in the same room. It's Easter hols and he has to leave the house every day. If he doesn't leave the house nor do a couple of small chores He doesn't get to game. He usually plays footie for an hour with his mate from round the corner and he is also in a football team.

I am married and have quite a lot of friends and have had a successful career as a librarian and also retrained and switched careers even though I sat and played mega apocalypse, doom and Golden axe for hours as a teenager. I was however one of those DC at school who didn't do much work but did fine.

Was the same at University I'm not saying I'm clever but my mind works at a fast speed and can process information so quickly that it is unusual I am a lateral thinker and work out permutations of situations a bit like a computer I guess. DS is the same. We are natural speed readers but can still take it in.

I'm vaguely interested in this thread re grandsons. I haven't heard anyone mention girls and in my (limited) experience it does seem to be boys that are addicted to this gaming?

Grays do you really believe jigsaws have been proven to be addictive in the same way gaming has? And do you think it's a positive that gaming takes the place of relationships and other life enhancing experiences of these kids' lives?

That cancels out any cognitive benefit for me, which would only apply if the child is able to self regulate their gaming and live balanced lives.

Yes, DD (17) adores the Sims franchise and can spend hours playing that one game.

Over the summer holidays I remember in some cases she would out all weekend, then the next she would be gaming for days on end. She is a very private and independent girl in that she does her own washing and wants to cook for herself so I don't feel too worried about it but I do wish she would log off sometimes and go do something outside.

She used to love painting or playing the piano, even reading novels I would encourage but she seems to be far more interested in this virtual world than any of her old interests.

I'm hoping she will get sick of it before another expansion comes out to renew her interest!

Grays That article is interesting. I knew there were benefits to gaming but, as you suggest I do find the violence of it distasteful. Mainly because it's not what I see as a 'wholesome' pursuit and not something I want glorified. DS isn't allowed to play certain games however it's not all minecraft and creativity!

I also think gaming gets a bad press in the media with concerns over health and the fact that many perpetrators of awful crimes seem to come with the tag of 'being a loner who spent hours alone playing violent video games'.

Whilst I know of course that that is not the norm, media perception is very influential on parents' views and fears.

With regard to girls playing, I wonder if games are marketted more at boys. Certainly lots seem to fit the typical male stereotypes. What games do female gamers go for?

Nana I posted upthread and two of my gamers are girls. The youngest especially, and she will play very masculine orientated games; whilst her older sister preferred Minecraft, the sims and Fable, dd3 likes halo and fallout (I'm not getting into a discussion about age ratings) but also has a fondness for more creative games.

What games do female gamers go for? I can only speak for myself. When I was on the consoles I liked all sorts, from the classic Crash Bandicoot and Spyro, to dungeon crawlers like Champions Of Norrath and Baldur's Gate (especially co-op mode). I liked games with a story such as Silent Hill, Shadowman and Soul Reaver.

These days the xbox is hogged by teens and I am on the laptop but I'm quite addicted to a game called Rimworld, which is a sci-fi sim where you have spaceship crash survivors and you have to build a base and things for them. More casual gaming these days.