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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Sons girlfriend staying over?

34 replies

onebusymum · 09/03/2016 19:04

My 16 year old son has asked if his girlfriend who is 17 can stay over. He has stayed at hers.
I dont know if I am old fashioned but I dont feel comfortable with them sharing a bed in my house.
I know that they will have sex wherever, but I juat dont know if I am ready for this next stage of her sleeping over.
What has everyone else done?

OP posts:

bigTillyMint · 11/03/2016 17:00

DD's bf doesn't stay over - luckily he lives round the corner, so no need (and we have said no to him staying over)

However I am under no illusions about what they get up to in her room. And I am fine with that, I just don't really want him sleeping over because her room is next to ours.

DD and DS often have same-sex mates to sleep over, but I guess I'm not ready for bf/gf sleeping over.

Chocolatteaddict1 · 11/03/2016 19:08

'Commited long term relasionships' at 17? and if I could have a pound for every time my dd1 (now 21) said "but so and so parents allow it is be a millionaire! there is a thread going about it now actually.

Anyway that's not my point.

I can honestly say that I never felt that dd1 was ever sexually frustrated because she never had her BF stay over. Boys - well I think hormonally they are frustrated all the time. But that's not my problem. They have a life time of sleeping in their lovers beds. What's the rush?

Pinkheart5915 · 11/03/2016 19:12

If he has stayed at his girlfriends house, I don't see why her staying at yours is a problem.
My mum let me have my boyfriend at the time stay over when I was 16, he was allowed to stay in my room.
Thing is I was a sensible girl and Mum and me spoke in great detail all about contraception/ safe sex. But I didn't have sex with said boyfriend anyway.

Have you and your sons dad had a chat about contraception and things?

ParochialE9 · 11/03/2016 20:03

Why so incredulous that 17 year olds can be in committed relationships Chocolate? I certainly was at 17, my 21 year old is still with same gf he was with at 17. My dd is committed to her bf in that she loves spending time with him and is not interested in being with any other boy - It might not last forever but doesn't make it any less a committed relationship. You sound like someone who can't bear it when others don't agree with your point of view. As Leonard pointed out earlier more people on this thread would be happy with the sleeping together than wouldn't be.

mumslife · 11/03/2016 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chocolatteaddict1 · 11/03/2016 21:59

Didn't know the face now means incredulous. I thought it was a 'grinning' face. Oh well who knew hey?

I did the 'grinning face' as its not the norm for a 17 year old to be in a long term commited relationship.

I sound like some one who can't bare people's different point of view? Not at all, I thought we were having a discussion about lots of different views and reasons. I was actually replying to the poster you feel you need to 'stick' up for - why I don't know as I just thought we were having a 'discussion' about It.

You sound like you get confused.

ParochialE9 · 11/03/2016 22:24

Chocolate, your over use of emojis and poor spelling speak volumes - Goodnight.

JaneyJaney66 · 13/03/2016 11:43

In answer to Chocolatteaddict1 why do you not consider it 'the norm' to be in a serious relationship at 17? Maybe it's wasn't your experience or your daughters but why scoff at others, we are all different. Read the thread in first relationships and you'll see that it's very 'normal' indeed.

Writerwannabe83 · 13/03/2016 14:21

I lived with my mom until I was 20 and I was never allowed a BF stay o/n - even one that I was with for over two years in total. She had no problems with me staying at my boyfriend's houses but she would never, ever have allowed them to stay with me. I would never have dared ask.

When I was 19 my boyfriend of the time (we'd been together about 7 months at this point) was with me in my bedroom as we were watching a film and when my mum came home from work and she was not happy, she came in to my room, and in front of him said that I was not to have boys in my room and then she frogmarched us both downstairs. It was so humiliating!!!

I moved in with my dad when I was almost 21 (they were divorced) and I lived with him for about 6 years and he never had a problem with my boyfriends staying overnight. I sometimes felt a bit awkward about it but he didn't mind at all.

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