How to cope with teens wanting to spend less & less time with you <sob!>?

[Pebbles574]

Have two DS teens aged 16 and 13 and in the last year we've reached the point where they just want to spend the absolute minimum amount of time with DH & me.
I know we wouldn't be doing family outings like we did when they were toddlers but I hadn't expected such reluctance to spend any time with us.
We went out for lunch yesterday for Mother's Day and a walk afterwards. We had to tell them ages in advance that it was a three-line whip and that they were coming. Before we'd even left the house DS2 was asking how long we'd be out and exactly when we'd be back .
At lunch we had a bit of a chat but then DS2 was just talking to DS1 about random YouTube videos and tech stuff which we couldn't easily join in with.
We only walked about a mile before DS2 started complaining about wanting to get home as he still had homework to do.
When we came in the front door, they both dumped their shoes and coats and disappeared up to their computers and bedrooms. Strangely, DS2's homework didn't materialise and I heard him gaming with his friends .

DH took himself off to do some jobs in his shed.

I found myself feeling a bit lonely and sad and wondered what happened to the jokey, fun family afternoons we used to spend together.

They're not bratty, horrible teenagers and can be perfectly chatty and polite to guests etc if need be, but they just seem to consider it unnecessary to make the effort for DH & I these days.

Is this it? Is this normal family life now? Anyone feel like their family spends their lives in separate rooms these days?

lady so it was. Tsk.

If I need a teenage perspective I have two teens to ask.

I was just pondering my lads teens and wondering why this didn't happen. They came on holidays till they were about 19 and seemed to love them. I think there was a balance between hibernating in rooms and spending time with me watching films or chatting/mucking about.
Then I remembered that in their teens I was only in my very early 30s so pretty much into the same stuff as them.
Dds however will probably want to be nowhere near me anytime soon!!
I shall also rejoice at finslly getting my groove back 😂 getting some sleep

at the early hours posting

Ours still do quite a lot.
We go bowling, Costa, meals out, games night, film night, DD and I go shopping, DS and DH go to footy, quizzes, holidays etc. They see their friends lots too.
I once read that they start saying stuff like they don't want to do stuff with parents when really they do. We always invite them and the only ones they turn down involve walking.

The only people I know who are posting at 2.30am are teenagers
or people with new babies .

RhodaBull how do you holiday with one teen? I wondered about the prospect of holidaying with just DS2. It hasn't happened yet because DS1 still wants to come along , in fact his GF comes as well.
If it did happen then I guess you are only in the same position as those with an only child have always been. My Dsis and my closest friend both have one child and choosing holidays has always been a challenge. DS2 would probably be happy to come along without his brother but I think I would probably get him to invite a friend.