Scatter · 29/02/2016 10:24
DS1 seems to be slowly but surely giving up all his 'extracurricular' activities. Can't be bothered to do things, feels too tired etc. Is very bright and getting on well academically at school but the impression I get is that he's disengaging from everything outside the classroom. Still does some sport, but only when he has to. Never seems to pro-actively want to do anything.
Is this normal? How many 'activities' do your 15 year olds do? He was always pretty involved in music (individual lessons and school bands, all now stopped) and sport (football, rugby and cricket teams at school and member of a rugby club... hanging on to these but barely, and often chooses not to go to practices).
I feel that he's too old for us to 'make' him to go to these things if he doesn't want to, but I worry that he might get to a point where he's doing nothing outside school, limiting friendship groups and wider world experience, and nothing inside school, limiting friendship groups, wider world experience and his popularity with teachers!!
Would love to hear what your 15 year olds are doing or not doing, and whether his lethargy is normal or not. Wondering if he's asserting a bit of independence and might go back to these things under his own steam, but suspect it's unlikely he'd re-join things having given them up?
PeaStalks · 29/02/2016 13:25
Both of my DC gave up extra curricular activities at that age or before. I took the view that they were too old to be made to do them and I had always encouraged them to try new things but never forced.
Of their peers, the ones who continue with sports and music after 15ish are in the minority . DS2s best friend still has his life micro managed by his mother at 17.
Doesn't seem to have hindered them. DS1 did very well academically and has taken up new sports and interests since he went to uni. DS2 doing A levels socialises as much as other 17 year olds as far as I can tell and also doing well at school. He is very lethargic though, which bothers me more than him.
Scatter · 29/02/2016 14:30
Thanks Peastalks. I definitely don't want to micro manage and feel that DS1 is old enough to sort himself out! Like you we have always encouraged new things but never forced anything on them. Enthusiasm levels seem to depend very much on the day in question, sometimes he's keen to do things and other times just wants to hang around being a typical sofa-bound teenager. I expect they're all similar.
oldbagofsoot · 01/03/2016 21:18
Teenagers kinda slow down to a near sloth-like state it seems. They don't want to be ferried to lots of after school stuff like they did when they were bouncy primary schoolers. School is betting harder and social pressures are certainly much more stressful and I find my lot just want to come home, put on the playstation or tv and relax for a bit. At weekends, even my 12yr old is asleep until 11am unless I wake him. He's growing a lot and they do this while they sleep too.
As they get into the teen years its has been proven that the brain is changing and growing and they do need to sleep much more and most will stay in bed until hunger wakes them round about lunchtime! they then slither downstairs, stuff in food and then slither off to a sofa to carry on festering.
After a year slothing my 16yr old randomly decided he needed to 'do something' and taught himself the guitar off youtube.
Let them, I say. One day they will have full-time jobs, commutes to do etc. they might as well sloth whilst they can! Just be thankful they are still at home - they'll be leaving before you know it and then you'll long for a sleepy kid staggering down stairs and raiding the fridge.
StickyCrumbs · 06/03/2016 22:08
Sounds like my DD, 15 in a few weeks. Doesn't leave the house unless for school, piano lesson on Wednesday, and orchestra/music on Friday evening and Saturday morning. Won't get out of bed in the morning, stays up late and gets into a foul mood when w ask her to get to bed. Does bare minimum of homework, absolutely no music practice. Her violin teacher has told us she thinks they've reached the end of the road together as DD refuses to practice (but she's just got distinction in grade 7 despite this). Never helps in the house, her room is a tip. She is bright, articulate, musically gifted - and bone idle and obnoxious. We are at our wits end.
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