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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

OMG dd has pierced her lip!

55 replies

Stoneagemum · 21/02/2016 16:48

Dd (13 ) has come home with a pierced lip! She did it herself!

She has been away with friends of the family since Thursday and told me she did it Wednesday night after I went to bed. (I left for work before she got up on thurs so I did not see it then)

I am flabbergasted, it appears clean, no obvious sign of infection and she swears she is following piercing cleaning rules, and researched thoroughly online before she did it with a nappy pin (yes a nappy pin from my sewing box that she 'sterilised' with flame and mouth wash!)

I'm in shock that she did this and hasn't caused herself harm.

Not sure why I'm posting or what advice I want, just some support maybe

OP posts:

pinkyredrose · 21/02/2016 17:28

Rustybear that's a labret piercing surely rather than a lip piercing

RustyBear · 21/02/2016 17:32

I don't know the technical terms, that's why I asked whether it was like DD's. DD used to refer to it as her lip piercing to me (probably because she knew I never remembered the real name)

Original poster

Stoneagemum · 21/02/2016 17:47

It's not in the centre like the pic, it's on the right of her lip. She used a ruler to measure where it should go re her 'research' and a biro to mark a dot so she knew where to stick the pin through! She has one of her nose rings through it at the moment.

We have discussed piercings, she has had her ears done since she was small (yes judge all you like) the nose was wanted since 10, I compromised and took her to have it done the start of the summer holidays that she was 13. I agreed I would take her to get a double lip (snake bite) after her GCSE's at 16, but she just went ahead and did this anyway!

My 'relaxed' parenting is now biting me on the arse, hard

OP posts:

pinkyredrose · 21/02/2016 17:55

Tbh there's a lot worse she can do than get pierced. You should just make sure she goes to a decent piercing studio rather than do it herself though.

Original poster

Stoneagemum · 21/02/2016 18:01

Pinkyred yes I agree with the licensed piercing studios, that's why I took her for her nose and had an 'agreement' about the lips. She has just taken my reason ability (word?) and gone too far. But in her defence she seems to have done it with some thought for a teenager, and after 4 days it appears healthy, well no sign of infection or pain anyway

OP posts:

WickedWax · 21/02/2016 18:09

Oh well, she's probably done it more hygienically than those high street shops that pierce people's ears with guns. If it looks clean and not infected after 4 days I'm sure it's fine.

Definitely do as a pp suggested though and take her to a piercing studio for them to check it over and fit appropriate jewellery.

I think you missed the boat on objecting to facial piercings when you allowed her to get her nose done at 13. Eyebrow next?

iPost · 21/02/2016 18:28

I pierced my ear with my compass. Some flapping, but I got to keep it.

So did another hole. This time with a needle and then widening the hole with an ear ring. More flapping, but still no sign of where the boundaries I was seeking were.

Not long after that, I really started spinning out of control. Never did find a boundary. Had to make my own. Took me until I was 26 years old.

That might not be what this is. You know her, I don't. But it might be worth mulling over as a possibility, cos the world can be a scary place if you can't find the point where your parental safety catch kicks in. Especially when part of you wants to be one of the cool kids, and they egg you on.

All I wanted was one of my parents to step up and step in. So I could save face by blaming them for me not doing things (that I didn't really want to do) using ye olde "parents won't let me the oppressive bastards !" get out clause.

charliedontsurf · 21/02/2016 18:31

I used to have 2 lip piercings ('snake bite') and they did wear away at my gums. I had them done when I was 16 and 17 and by the age of 24 I took them out because my gum was starting to recede. They were done by a very professional, experienced piercer and yet they still caused gum problems. Plus it really hurt having them done!

Admittedly I did pierce my own nose and ear but I would never do my own lip! Sorry but I think it's not so much brave as it is stupid, she could have done some serious harm and it could still get infected. She needs to be cleaning it with boiled water and sea salt and I would take her to a professional to check it over.

School is another matter entirely, I'm now 30 and when I was at school there was a strict no piercing rule. A girl had her lip done in Y11, December, and was made to sit in isolation until GCSEs in June!

thatcoldfeeling · 21/02/2016 18:33

I'm impressed with her 'research', the danger in piercing a lip is hitting a vein hence why if you have it done professionally they have a device to sort of clamp your lip for a few secs so they can see where the veins are.

I used to have a labret piercing but removed it, as others said they can be a PITA. I really liked how it looked though.

ditavonteesed · 21/02/2016 18:40

this is bringing back memories of how painful my lip peircing was, i loved it and tried twice but ended up taking it out both times because it hurt so much so she may give up on it fairly quickly anyway.

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 21/02/2016 18:42

thatcoldfeeling, the 'device' you describe is actually a set of clamps used for holding the lip (or other tissue) steady during the piercing, and can also help with getting it straight. They're not for checking veins.

Sparklingbrook · 21/02/2016 18:42

What do dentists make of lip piercings?

Original poster

Stoneagemum · 21/02/2016 18:55

Ipost, you have given me food for thought as they say, there are deeper issues at play here with rules between her fathers household and mine, recent (ish) residency changes and exclusion.

I'm now thinking that this is deeper than the obvious and need to follow up various avenues we have been exploring, thank you

OP posts:

iPost · 21/02/2016 19:06

there are deeper issues at play here with rules between her fathers household and mine, recent (ish) residency changes and exclusion.

Oh... snap.

Not an exact snap, but yeah. Close enough.

She's got you. I really do believe just one of mine realising I was screaming for the security of boundaries would have been enough. Not perfect, but enough.

thatcoldfeeling · 21/02/2016 19:10

Beauty - yes - it was the same thing actually, maybe I misinterpreted. When I had my labret piercing the women who did the piercing said 'I am just checking to see where your veins are' so I assumed it was it's purpose, but yes, same device she used for the actual piercing too.

Original poster

Stoneagemum · 21/02/2016 19:41

I post I would like to talk to you further put cant find pm on the app

OP posts:

iPost · 21/02/2016 20:10

look at this post. Go up to the top corner. You should see this

add message | report | message poster

If they are there the click "message poster"

lljkk · 21/02/2016 20:24

Wow, StoneAge, your DD has hardcore Balls. I mean, this situation isn't ideal (understatement). But that girl may do very well in lots of other ways.

Original poster

Stoneagemum · 21/02/2016 20:58

Hopefully I have pm'd you but as on phone I might not get a reply straight away

OP posts:

Original poster

Stoneagemum · 21/02/2016 21:00

Yes my dd may have 'balls' but in not sure I want her to have them in this case

OP posts:

VagueButlmportant · 21/02/2016 21:15

Ouch! This thread takes me back.

First year of uni - my housemate pierced my ears with a needle and block of ice. The holes never had any infection - far less painful than the first holes done with a gun at the jewellers.

That wasn't too bad but what really made my eyes water was that straight afterwards she ran the needle under the tap then pierced her own nipple!

Some vodka had been consumed!

shazzarooney99 · 21/02/2016 23:07

Does anyone remember the days when you pierced your ears with a needle and potato? needle was not particulary sterilised either.

Bunbaker · 21/02/2016 23:30

What will happen when she goes to school tomorrow and gets told she has to remove it?

DD's school have a zero tolerance policy on facial piercings, and any student turning up with a lip piercing will be told to remove it immediately. I think if they don't they end up in isolation.

iPost · 22/02/2016 07:50

Stone

Nothing in my inbox, so I'll try sending you one.

OTheHugeManatee · 22/02/2016 08:01

OP, I pierced myself repeatedly as a young teen. It was a form of self harm.

Take it from me, you need to be in quite a state to shove sharp needles through your own flesh. For both your sakes, set the poor girl some boundaries and find out what's going on for her emotionally.

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