Well, I have had lots of DCs and brought them to adulthood. I had two who did not know what they wanted to do. No vision or ambition at 18, would describe them.
Both were extremely clever and were at competitive entry, prestigious schools. All their reports were mediocre, could do better, etc
The first one chose a subject and went to University after scraping through her A levels. She failed to get her first choice. I never saw a book or a piece of homework during her whole school career. She said she did it at school.
I thought at the time that it was imperative she went to Uni, when I should have just let her sort herself out and face her own mess, when she didn't get the grades for her first choice.
I even sorted the Uni place out for her ( Science) as she had gone on a Gap year. I filled in the forms etc
But she didn't enjoy it. She played sport and had a job in the bar and generally had a good time. The reports that I saw ( she left them lying around) showed she was wasting her time. She did however get a good degree, as in about the second year she realised that she needed a two one to get anywhere.
After Uni she applied for jobs at prestigious establishments but her A level results didn't come up to scratch. So we funded her living in Her Uni City for six months, looking for jobs. Eventually, because she was starving she came home.
She then got a dead end job and much to her shame, she lived with Her PARENTS, and had thoughts of her own.
So, She went to Uni again ( Arts subject) and did another post grad degree in a totally different subject and got a job after a lot of interviews.
She became very successful quite quickly and within a couple of years she was doing very well. However the job, although interesting was poorly paid and she decided after about two years that she didn't find it rewarding enough.
So she decided to do something else and got herself on another four year post graduate degree course. Boy, did she work hard ! She is now a Doctor and despite being a Junior Doctor, she has found what she wanted to do at last!
I wish that, when she failed to get the grades in her A levels, I had said ' well you need to get a job and have a think, it might have helped her get there sooner.
The other DC was the same. When they failed to get or do what they said they wanted, through their own lack of interest and effort, I was there for them at every turn, picking up the pieces, giving them ideas, supporting them monetarily. Nagging etc, worrying.
On reflection they would have learnt life's lessons a bit sooner if I had left them alone to sort out their own mess. So my advice is to stand back and let your DD get on with it. Let them try and get a job and see how hard things things can be without qualifications. Perhaps then they might find some motivation.
Motivation is definately the key. I used to watch my languid two, who didn't show any inclination to do school work or seem to be able to organise their way out of a wet paper bag, suddenly come to life when they decided to go to a Music Festival. Then they could organiser complex travel arrangements, book tickets, borrow tents etc.
Thank goodness my other DCs were totally different. Even though everything worked out in the end, it may have worked out sooner for the others if I had stood back and let them sort things out for themselves. I over Parented and over protected them from life's reality.
I thought I was doing the right thing at the time and of course I love them very much. My DCs are fabulous children, but their life is their own and I couldn't save them from every self inflicted knock.
So that is my story for what it is worth. Best of luck as it is not easy being a parent.