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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

What time do let your 13yr olds stay out until?

42 replies

HiccupHaddockHorrendous · 06/02/2016 15:49

I'm back for more opinions!!
What time do your 13 yr olds stay out until?

OP posts:
Groovee · 06/02/2016 15:54

It was 8pm here on dark nights. 9pm in the summer at weekends.

She's 16 now and often has to be told to be in at 8.30pm as her time keeping is horrendous.

CalicoBlue · 06/02/2016 15:55

Depends where she is. If she is at a party, I pick her up when it finishes, usually about 11.30.

If she is hanging out with friends after school, I expect her back by 6 or 7. This is winter times though, as it is still dark before 5.

In the summer I expect I will let her stay out later.

krazipan · 06/02/2016 15:56

The latest if he is at his friend's house is 19:30/20:00. I usually pick him up/drop friends home. Not on a school night and he is not allowed to roam the streets. He is convinced this is unreasonable!

IHaveBrilloHair · 06/02/2016 15:59

14 here and if at friends 9 on weeknight, 11 at weekends

Original poster
HiccupHaddockHorrendous · 06/02/2016 16:07

Thanks Smile
He has activities on three school nights so it's been quite straightforward to set a time on those nights but weekends I'm not so sure about. He's just hanging out in the park and I don't really like the idea of him just wandering about once it gets dark so have asked him to be home by 6 at the latest.

OP posts:
LadyBaelish · 06/02/2016 18:34

It depends where he is. If it's outside then back by half 7 because we live in quite a rough area (in the summer it's later when it's still light out). If he's at a friend's then 9 on a school night and 10 on weekends.

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster · 06/02/2016 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JustDanceAddict · 06/02/2016 18:56

At a weekend party - 11ish - she is always bought home though.

WhoreGasm · 07/02/2016 19:23

DD is 13 next month and she only goes 'out' around the village at weekends (too much homework and clubs durung the week). During the summer she has to be home by 7pm and during the Winter home by early dusk.

If she's at a friend's house, then she can stay there until 7pm in the week, or 8pm at weekends. But we always pick her up, or she gets dropped off.

I can't believe some of the late hours some 13 year olds on here keep! DD loves her sleep and likes to be tucked up in bed by 9pm at the very latest.

bendybootpumpkinpatch · 07/02/2016 19:27

Wow 11pm for a lot of your 13 ,year olds!!!
Mine has to be in bed by 9.30every night !!

DickDewy · 07/02/2016 19:27

Mine goes to bed at 9 (there is much faffing once he goes up), later on Friday and Saturday.

He doesn't 'go out' in the evenings.

IHaveBrilloHair · 07/02/2016 20:47

Dd is a night owl, always has been, but is actually great at self regulating when it comes to sleep and every so often will crash for the night at 7pm.
I see no problem with her being out until 11pm at her friends house, if she was at home she'd only be in her room skyping with them anyway.
Her friends/bf can hang out here until the same time, and often do.

IHaveBrilloHair · 07/02/2016 20:50

Do you live somewhere unsafe Whoregasm
Why would your 12 yr old need to be picked up at 7pm in the summer from a village? Confused

limitedperiodonly · 07/02/2016 22:43

Depends: How mature are they and who will they be with? Where they are going? How busy it is and what are the public transport facilities like? What time you want to pick them up?

WhoreGasm · 08/02/2016 10:09

brillo no, we live in quiet village actually. It's only in the winter months that we'd pick up her, if it was after dark. In the summer she walks home if it's early evening.

WhoreGasm · 08/02/2016 10:12

I know my DD would be shattered if she was up until 11pm most nights, she just wouldn't be able to do it. And I really wouldn't want her friends around here until that time either...I like to be in bed by 10pm during the week Smile

Canshopwillshop · 08/02/2016 10:17

Whoregasm - no one has said they are up to 11 most nights! A few said 11.00 at weekends but not in the week.

AppleSetsSail · 08/02/2016 10:24

My 13 year old doesn't go out at night yet - is he missing some crucial milestone? We're in London so maybe that's at the crux of the matter.

WhoreGasm · 08/02/2016 12:25

I don't think do apple. We live in a rural area, but our DD doesn't 'go out' at night, and won't be doing for a few more years yet.

At most she will either be at a friend's house until 8pm. Or she might have a friend here. But there are girls and boys, her age who do roam around the village quite late into the evening. I often see them if I pop out to the Co Op, and that's usually after 9pm (when I usually get the munchies).

BrianCoxReborn · 08/02/2016 18:19

12 yo DD here who, due to severe anxiety, barely goes out at the moment.

I can't imagine her being out, in a year's time, til 11pm. That's not saying she won't be, as I've learned that often when I think "what the...?" one year, the next she's doing exactly the same.

I see no problem with them staying at friend's or friends staying here. Although I'm far too selfish and like my downtime, so 11pm is too late because I'll be disturbed IYSWIM.

Im trying to hold on to her being Not A Teenager, for a bit longer. I can oft be caught gazing at her long, sandy hair, untouched by product and softly draped over her willowy arms. She of course will be out all hours, with multi coloured hair, as soon as she's able.

But for now, I shall read these tales of the year to come and make plans of How Not To Do It* (because that's what we all do isn't it!?) And then find myself a year down the line posting on here, asking if 11pm is an acceptable weekend curfew 😂

*I'm not suggesting that you are all showing me how to not do it, I mean I'm here trying to take on the advice from such discussions!

BackforGood · 08/02/2016 18:40

Never went for a fixed time with any of mine - it would depend where they were and what they were doing. At 13 none of them ever just 'hung around' - they were either at home, at someone else's home or at an activity which had a set time to finish.

IHaveBrilloHair · 08/02/2016 18:47

They honestly don't disturb me when they are here until 11, dd on Skype or dd and bf in room=same amount of noise, which is minimal, I barely hear them, and I'm generally up anyway, they just watch youtube and laugh, occasionally popping out for tea/coffee and I make them brush the cats!
Roaming around until 11 is not on at all, and if she goes straight out after school I like her home for 8. If she's going to the next village it does make sense for her to go straight from from school, rather than wasting an hour plodding back here in the wrong direction.
She is happy to bring her friends/bfs home which means I can't be too hideous though I try my best
and yes to never saying, "well mine will never do xyz", I said that too, and got a shockGrin

BrianCoxReborn · 08/02/2016 19:38

Brillo, you have a really good relationship with your DD and I do tend to watch and think "but she's only a year older than my DD!" and try to pretend that my DD won't be growing up at such a rate of knots, because that's just terrifying.

Older child to young, wannabe adult in the space of a year

Nearly 3 yo DS is going to be mollycoddled to within an inch of his life and chained to my apron strings mwahahahha! (Not really, but in my imagination!)

Canshopwillshop · 08/02/2016 21:59

Just a quick question to those who say they don't let their kids just 'hang around' on the streets. My DD is 11 and currently is allowed to 'play out' with her friends on the street. Just wondering at what age does 'playing out' become 'hanging around'?
Not being facetious by the way, I am genuinely asking because at the moment I like the fact that she has the freedom to play out but I don't want her to become one of those kids who hang around on the streets.

BrianCoxReborn · 08/02/2016 22:01

I think the line is drawn between playing out, within easy reach of your house and hanging around streets which aren't local to your house.

Not sure if that's everyone's take on it though, interesting point.