I have similar with ds. He wants to be treated as an adult. So we try to. It means he has certain jobs that he does for everyone, in return he mostly gets cooked for (he will occasionally cook), he does his own laundry.
He also does what we do when we're going out, he lets us know when he'll be home and whereabouts he is (not a minute by minute account, just vaguely where and vaguely with who). We've said this is about showing respect to everyone else so we know when to expect him and where to look in an emergency.
He's pretty good about it all. He humphs sometimes, which we don't usually engage with. If he's rude, I remind him that adults don't talk to each other like that, and if he wants to continue to be treated as an adult, he's expected to give respect, not just receive it.
It's a tricky age, because they aren't mature enough to deal with things, but believe they are. They have to make their own mistakes. But you don't want them to get hurt.
Sit down with her, ask what she thinks is reasonable, explain that you miss her being a part of your family life. See what suggestions she comes up with. If her answer is "I'll do nothing, you won't question it", then ask why on earth you would accept an adult in the house who expects to be waited on, and who doesn't contribute. That's the definition of a child, not an adult.