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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Clever or cunning teenager? You decide.

41 replies

Rivercam · 11/09/2015 21:50

My da (aged 13) went into his brothers room to get a book for school. He chose an autobiography his older brother got for,Christmas. Older brother got upset, didn't want to,take,it to school, so younger da chose another book (and got stroppy).

This evening, elder ds discovered book,was missing. It turns out that younger ds had taken it school and had intended to get it each morning, and return it each night.

I though he was being clever (although I didn't tell this), whilst dh thought he was being naughty (I supposed he was).

What do you think? Was he being clever, thinking outside the box to,get the book, or was he being cunning and sly?

OP posts:

TheFairyCaravan · 11/09/2015 21:53

He was being cunning and sly.

I wouldn't be best pleased with this if this had happened in our house. His brother had made it plain that he didnt want him to take it but he did anyway. He showed zero respect to his wishes or his possessions. That's not on.

MirandaGoshawk · 11/09/2015 21:53

Clever but naughty. How would he like it if someone took something precious of his?

steppemum · 11/09/2015 21:54

straight forward naughty.

He was told no by ds1 and he took it anyway. It isn't about clever cunning or sly, it is just blatantly disrespectful of another person and their possessions.

My 7 year old would do this to get the book she wants. hardly clever.

CarriesBucketOfBlood · 11/09/2015 21:55

Regardless of whether it's clever or not, he has stolen from his brother.

Lots of bad things are clever, but it doesn't excuse them. That's why we have words like cunning, calculating and Machiavellian. Definitely punish.

Bellebella · 11/09/2015 21:56

There is no cunning or clever about it at all. It's just being naughty and taking something that did not belong to him.

BertPuttocks · 11/09/2015 21:57

I think it was sly and sneaky. There's nothing particularly clever about helping yourself to someone else's property.

aliciagardner · 11/09/2015 21:58

It's just a book. Older child should have been a bit more accommodating I think.

BlazerTrail · 11/09/2015 21:59

It's important to respect other people's stuff so in this case he was being sly. He should have tried to get a copy from the library or a charity shop if he was so keen on that particular book.

Cookingongas · 11/09/2015 22:00

Sneaky, disrespectful and stupid I would say. Easy to get caught. Dismissive of his brothers feelings. Sneaking in and out a room where he should gain permission to be in. Cunning and clever do not come into the equation for me.

IguanaTail · 11/09/2015 22:03

I think it's disrespectful and sly.

Did you really think it was clever? It sounds as if you felt quite impressed by his resourcefulness. If someone asked you if they could borrow something of yours and you said no, would you think they had "thought outside the box" if they had decided to take it all the same, repeatedly, and just attempt to return it without you noticing?

BrockAuLit · 11/09/2015 22:03

Not that clever (especially as he got out), certainly sly and mostly selfish and disrespectful. Not behavior I would be tolerating.

tootiredtothink · 11/09/2015 22:10

Not at all clever

BackforGood · 11/09/2015 22:23

Neither clever, nor cunning and sly.
His brother had specifically said he couldn't have it, so he shouldn't have taken it. Nothing clever about it, just disobedient / naughty / rude / whatever word you want to use.
'cunning' and 'sly' make it sound like you are admiring what he did

OddlyLogical · 11/09/2015 22:27

It's just a book. Older child should have been a bit more accommodating I think.
Why? It's his property, it might be important to him, his brother had no right to take it. Why is JUST a book? I have books I would be very careful of lending to certain people!

He was rude, disrespectful and not even remotely clever.

AgentProvocateur · 11/09/2015 22:30

Sneaky and disrespectful. And not bright enough to get away with it.

Mrsmoneyworries · 11/09/2015 22:34

I'm sorry but I agree with your DH.

Original poster

Rivercam · 11/09/2015 22:36

thanks for all your replies. The 'cunnings' win! I realise now that i read the situation wrong, and appreciate your replies.

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 11/09/2015 22:41

Dishonest and rather unpleasant. I expect people to treat their siblings with courtesy and kindness. And never to go into each other's rooms without permission.

BoneyBackJefferson · 11/09/2015 22:43

sneaky and disrespectful and generally not very nice.

Original poster

Rivercam · 11/09/2015 22:47

We have an open door policy, so,he don't go into his brother's room without permission. His room is too small for bookcases, so,they are in his brother's larger room.

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 11/09/2015 22:51

I would review that. People ought to be able to keep their bedrooms private.

aliciagardner · 11/09/2015 22:52

Oddly logical - because in my family, we share. I would expect anybody borrowing a book - from any member of the family - to treat property with respect BUT family members should share! What's the harm in sharing a book, once read, with other family members to also read?! A book is there to be read. This is its very purpose.

TheExMotherInLaw · 11/09/2015 23:02

Reading it at home might well have been ok, but this book was taken into school, where it could easily have been lost or damaged. I think he was being cunning, disrespectful and just plain wrong.

IguanaTail · 11/09/2015 23:10

The thing that is wrong about it was that his brother said no.

BertrandRussell · 11/09/2015 23:14

"What's the harm in sharing a book, once read, with other family members to also read?! "

No harm at all. If the owner wants to.

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