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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

Clever or cunning teenager? You decide.

41 replies

Rivercam · 11/09/2015 21:50

My da (aged 13) went into his brothers room to get a book for school. He chose an autobiography his older brother got for,Christmas. Older brother got upset, didn't want to,take,it to school, so younger da chose another book (and got stroppy).

This evening, elder ds discovered book,was missing. It turns out that younger ds had taken it school and had intended to get it each morning, and return it each night.

I though he was being clever (although I didn't tell this), whilst dh thought he was being naughty (I supposed he was).

What do you think? Was he being clever, thinking outside the box to,get the book, or was he being cunning and sly?

OP posts:

Sundance2741 · 12/09/2015 08:20

Even if you believe families should share books, it would still be wrong because he knew his brother had said he couldn't take it. Better to have an open discussion with each - why did the eldest not want him to take the book, and why does youngest want it so much. Maybe with help they could have reached a solution they were both happy with.

wankerchief · 12/09/2015 08:24

Would' you be happy if he went Into your room and took your stuff after you said no? I bet it wouldn't be daring and clever then.

The fact it's it's just a book is irrelevant. It's sneaky

whatdoIget · 12/09/2015 08:46

My little sister used to take stuff out of my room that I'd told her she couldn't have. It was very annoying

WeirdCatLadySaysFuckOffJeffrey · 12/09/2015 08:55

That's a horrible thing to do. I'm a believer in sharing but elder ds said No and it's his book so he gets to decide.

As PP have said, would you find it so amusing and clever if it had been something of yours that he took??

I hope he has been punished properly, it would have destroyed my trust in him. He needs to learn that just because HE wants something, it doesn't give him the right to just take it.

Muskey · 12/09/2015 08:58

I think both but I would actually treat it as being sly

BoneyBackJefferson · 12/09/2015 10:03

Thinking further on this you need to look at the messages that you are going to be sending in your response. I feel for your eldest DS as what you have posted seems to be saying that what he wants isn't worth anything.

SurlyCue · 12/09/2015 10:10

Why are people falling over themselves to see the "genius" in their children's bad behaviour? we have the "hilarious" cheeky brat at school thread, the "resourceful" child who stole £266 from her mother's credit card and now this "clever" boy taking property without permission (not so clever he didnt get caught). I dont get it. Are you trying to offset the naughty behaviour by saying how clever it was in the first place? Why?

DoreenLethal · 12/09/2015 10:13

He was neither clever or cunning - as he was found out.

He needs to better negotiate or bargain, than steal which is what he did.

Hi5Hello · 12/09/2015 10:26

Let me guess... DS2 is golden child...

nooka · 12/09/2015 20:10

If this has happened before (or you thin it might happen again) then you need to review your storage/bedroom options. Not having private space of your own when you have a untrustworthy sibling is a real issue.

I don't really understand why you think it was in any way 'clever' OP. Your younger son deliberately went against his brothers wishes, took one of his possessions and was not surprisingly caught. How is 'I'll take it anyway' thinking outside of the box?

Shutthatdoor · 12/09/2015 22:04

Nothing clever about it at all

OddlyLogical · 12/09/2015 23:46

family members should share!
Should they? Why?
Should they have to share everything or are there things they are allowed to keep for their own exclusive use?
His brother didn't treat it with respect because he took it out of the house without permission.
Yes a book is there to be read, but I don't run a library because I choose if and who I will share my books with.

TuTru · 13/09/2015 17:10

Both!
But not clever enough.

Tiggeryoubastard · 13/09/2015 17:13

Not clever, he got caught. Sly and dishonest. Quite unpleasant behaviour. I hope you dealt with it, OP.

DandyDan · 13/09/2015 22:14

I agree with OddlyLogical.
It might be nice to share, but no-one should have to share their possessions if they don't want to.
Books are generally shared in our house but ones that particularly have been bought by or for certain members are 'theirs', and no-one should make off with them without asking and without permission.

myotherusernameisbetter · 14/09/2015 23:16

That's just sleekit and a horrible thing to do by someone who is old enough to know better. Not clever at all as sounds like he got caught out on the first day as he was too stupid to make sure the book was back in time.

Dishonest behaviour which in my house would be punished.

It doesn't matter that you think that DS1 should have lent him the book. it doesn't matter of DS1 didn't really care about the book but was just not letting his brother have it out of spite (which incidentally I would have spoken to him about). It's his property and if he says "No" then that's entirely up to him regardless of his motivation.

I'd go as far as to say it's technically theft.

If it is a book that DS2 wants then he should ask for a copy for himself, buy his own or offer to buy it from DS1.

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