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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How much do you charge in the way of digs?

30 replies

fartmeistergeneral · 31/08/2015 15:52

My son is almost 17, possibility of a full time job. How much is ok for digs? I didn't pay any when I was young (over generous parents) so I have no idea. Is it a percentage of pay? What's acceptable?

OP posts:
Shallishanti · 31/08/2015 16:00

here's what I did
calculate household running costs- rent/mortgage, fuel, council tax, food, phone/internet etc
divide by the number of people in household=a fair rate

for us as our housing costs are low, this worked out to be much, much cheaper than living independently- if it turned out to be a massive % of his wage I'd be inclined to round it down

Jw35 · 31/08/2015 16:03

Id take a third but my plan will be to secretly save it for something they need in the future. I don't have a teenager yet but I've already thought about this! Grin

Floralnomad · 31/08/2015 16:07

We don't charge ours anything , we don't need it and he's sensible with his money . My parents never charged me and it hasn't done me any harm .

notquiteruralbliss · 31/08/2015 20:23

Nothing. She works her arse off in a not very well paid industry and my daily rate as a on tractor is lose to what she makes in a month.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 31/08/2015 20:27

We don't intend to charge our teenagers anything. If they are still here at 20+ I think we would introduce a small rent then.

RachelZoe · 31/08/2015 21:00

How is it "over generous" not to charge your children to live in their own home if they can afford to? If money is super tight that's one thing but if it's possible...how is it too generous?

dementedma · 31/08/2015 21:02

We don't charge ours. They pay for their own phones and extras like driving lessons, but we don't charge rent.

BoboChic · 31/08/2015 21:03

Your DS is 16? Shouldn't he be in education and kept by his parents?

AndNowItsSeven · 31/08/2015 21:08

Just the actual cost of their food plus £30 a month towards utilities and wifi. I guess around £130 a month.

Fluffy24 · 31/08/2015 21:08

I don't get why you'd want to take money off your kids for digs? Not having a dig Grin but genuinely don't understand?

AndNowItsSeven · 31/08/2015 21:08

My dd is 16 though and not working yet.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 31/08/2015 21:08

Mine never charged me and I am now a well functioning, independent adult with a good career. My dad used to say 'I won't charge you for living here but don't moan if there's no food in the fridge'. I won't charge mine unless we really need the money.

Awks · 31/08/2015 21:15

Don't charge ours, we don't need her money and she's sensible enough to be saving for her own home. We share our stuff and so do they.

I don't get why you'd charge your children rent if money isn't an issue. If it is, then fair enough. The argument about teaching them lessons about money/taking it and saving it for them are a bit silly in my view - share a home and chores and family stuff till they make their own way in the world which mine is doing next month as she starts work as a teacher in a new city

usual · 31/08/2015 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Toughasoldboots · 31/08/2015 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kennington · 31/08/2015 21:24

Nought
This generation will have it tough anyway

BackforGood · 31/08/2015 21:35

I would (not arisen yet) as my parents did for me.
When you first go from pocket money to work, even a really low wage can seem like a fortune.
As a parent, one of my jobs is to prepare my dc for "life".
No adult gets to keep all their wage - you have to learn to put aside the expenses for the coming month...rent, utilities, travel costs, some savings, things like phone, driving lessons, etc.etc. I don't think you are doing them any favours to start them off with the whole lot as spending money.

I was fortunate in that, when I bought my first flat, my parents helped me with legal costs and also furnishings - they were able to do that with what they'd saved as I was contributing to the household. I was able to buy when I did, partly because I was used to budgeting / living within my means and not wildly spending all I earned. I hope I will be able to do the same for my dc.

As to how much - I'd sit and discuss it with them when the time comes - would depend on all sorts, from how much we needed it, to how much they would still have if I took - say 1/3 - from them, to if they wanted to make a case for keeping a bit more than I suggested to improve their qualifications or something. That said, I would show them what it would cost to live in a shared house as comparison.

usual · 31/08/2015 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 31/08/2015 21:47

I've managed to pay rent/bills, budget and save for a house deposit despite never being charged board by my parents.

ohtheholidays · 31/08/2015 21:51

I paid a fortune to my parents from when I was 16 and I used to do most of the food shopping as well.

Our oldest is 19 and in a well paid job,he pays us £200 a month and that's for everything.I paid over twice that 24 years ago,he knows he's lucky.

BeetlebumShesAGun · 31/08/2015 21:53

When I was at sixth form college receiving EMA and working part time I used to give my mum £40 a week in theory as it was just us two living in the house. It paid for food, petrol and general living stuff. She never pressed me for it though, and I would often forget! She never asked me to do chores though, I think I will make sure DD knows how to do housework etc before worrying about board.

Wandered off topic there, sorry!

Original poster
fartmeistergeneral · 02/09/2015 11:55

Laughing a bit at a few presumptions.

Yes I'd like him to be in full time education and kept by me, but he chose to leave school. I could have forced him to stay but he wouldn't have done any work and would probably totally waste the year, would rather he was out working in that case.

Not that I think it matters a jot, but money is a bit of an issue and I think he should contribute. Even if money wasn't an issue, I would still rather he contribute.

Saying my parents were 'over generous' was a light hearted comment. Don't read anything into it.

OP posts:
marriednotdead · 02/09/2015 12:19

The table below comes from my local council housing benefit rules and relates to what parents are expected to take from their DCs (or other adults in the house). It's used in the calculation of housing benefit deductions but it's a useful start point- my teen DCs think it's fair and so do I.

Non dependant
income of:? Weekly deduction (£) ?
Below £124? £13.60?
£124–£182.99? £31.25?
£183–£237.99? £42.90?
£238–£315.99? £70.20?
£316–£393.99? £79.95?
More than £394 £87.75
Others aged 25 or over and on income support or JSA, ESA or 18 or over and not in paid work? £13.60

When I first started work I had to hand over 25% of my net pay, and still did chores and my own laundry etc. IMO knowing how to manage money is one of the most valuable skills they can acquire.

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 02/09/2015 12:31

Assuming you're in the UK, doesn't be have to be in some kind of education or apprenticeship rather than a full-time job?

Think it's up to age 18 now rather than 16.

Original poster
fartmeistergeneral · 02/09/2015 16:20

No once you've left school at the legal minimum age you can do what you want.

OP posts: