DS robbed at knifepoint, begging me NOT to tell police.

[Spidermama]

He says he was robbed by 3 boys (17ish) in town, in broad daylight. They took his wallet and his cousin's phone. They really frightened him and told him if he reported it to police then next time they'd cut him.

This is a relatively small city and the gangs probably all know each other and look out for each other. I told DS I would have to report it to the police and he said, 'Have fun at my funeral then'.

What would you do?

I want to know why, when there was a video of your son being kicked in the head, those boys weren't reported to the police then - surely that's GBH?

Op - have you had his phone blocked? (It may be too late now.)

My DSs were mugged more times than I can remember - usually at knife point and IME the police were totally incompetent, even with ample opportunity to gather lots of evidence and arrest the perpetrators. I live in North London and teenage boys are the highest risk group. DS2 was robbed at knife point on a Sunday afternoon and the police wouldn't even bother to come and take a statement as he had handed over his phone and hadn't been stabbed. Your DS is understandably terrified, poor kid.

^^This.

Don't know where you live, Op, but when the police arrive tonight, I'd ask how they plan to protect your DS. Some take it more seriously than others. Then let DS make an informed choice.

This is awful. This thread is making me realise that perhaps I have been burying my head in the sand regarding my sons safety.

And if they don't have a plan to protect him, then complain. And complain and complain and complain. To their superiors, the school, your MP, and the local press. Just don't shut up about it.

Mitzi that sounds like a really traumatic time for you. Did you have any counselling afterwards? Is it still hurtful/painful today?

Ijny ironically that's one reason why I moved out of London. I'm in Brighton now.

Lol @ counselling, Spidermama, it was 1985! And I went to a tough school, so it was sort of considered normal.

It is still painfully today to think about it, and I'm so relieved none of my children have ever been bullied. I would be phoning the police/school like a shot if they were. My bully moved away, thankfully.

My son was beaten up by an older boy last year. He was 13 and the other boy 16, nearly 17.

Ds1 did not want to call the police as he did not want to be seen as a grass. We had a long talk about how this boy wouldget away with it and might go on to do it to someone else. In the end he agreed to talk to the police as he knew he had the power to save someone else from getting the kicking he got.

Police were amazing. It took a while for them to get to us as the nearest station is 10 miles away and the priority for the 3 officers on duty was the drunks in the 2 market towns they cover. But when thw arrived they were brilliant: really listened to ds, asked him questions and told him clearly what the next steps would be.

They knew the boy's girlfriend so soon found him, and I gather the talking to they gave him scared the shit out of him. They made it quite clear that he was very nearly an adult and that adults who assault kids are not treated with much sympathy. They told him to stay away from ds.

Ds was approached by the boy about a month later. He had the dog with him so couldn't run away, but the boy just said sorry and asked if they were cool. Ds squeaked out that yeah, they were cool, and that was that.

OP, the police are used to dealing with reluctant, frightened teenagers. If you've told them he's reticent they should treat him carefully - the police are on a huge public image drive with kids at the moment so they'll be especially careful to keep his trust.

Chubbychops, you have given some of the worst advice I have ever heard in the 13 years I've been on MN. Your anecdotal experience sounds unfortunate but to persuade others to put up with violence and bullying is spineless, ignorant and downright dangerous.

My DC was attacked last year. Through the use of CCTV the attacker was caught, arrested, and pleaded guilty. He is now has regular meetings with court officers and a police record. My child felt hugely vindicated going through the process and was happy we pressed on with it.

Hope your DS is okay Spidermama. I am basically reading this thread through my fingers as the idea of anything happening like that to my DS1 makes me freak .

I'm not saying this is the case with the OP's boy, but it is not unknown for kids to claim they were mugged in order to get a new phone/more cash from their doting parents.

You did the right thing OP.
Not quite the same but.....
Last year I saw some teenagers committing an act of vandalism. I reported them and they were caught in the act and suitably dealt with.
The police phoned me the next day and thanked me for reporting the incident. They said never hesitate to report seemingly small incidents of crime, if it is nipped in the bud it really does prevent kids from going on to re-offend.

How did it go last night ?