Does anyone have teenagers who speak to them in a civilised tone?

[lilibet]

And if so how the hell do you manage it?

dd is nearly 18 and ds1 is 13 and between them they are driving me bloody mad. I don't know why it's getting to me more recently but it is.

Every sentence that they say to me (other than "Can I have a lift?") seems to have a 'tone'.

I'm sure I wasn't like this [saintly emoticon]

lilibet - volcano is always the answer when it comes to teens

lol at LittleWonder shredding that page.
Bit of a cheek asking you not to give them chores!

I am so relieved to read this....this is exactly why I signed up today. I have a Ds1 who has been a teenager since he as 10, he is 12 next week. He has been a real Kevin and drives me and my DH to want to stab him in the stomach! We end up shouting because we don't feel we have any other way to vent our absolute frustration and disbelief at his arrogance, rudeness and lack of respect for us.

All his friends' parents think he is marvellous- which is some consolation.

I am on the verge of using a game of consequences for his behaviour - ie if he....then we will....probably stop him playing football for his local team - but really don't want to.

My DD is 14 and has been brilliant to date. Her room puts the rest of our house to shame it is so clean and tidy.

Can't wait to keep reading...

Welcome to the club Lexiloo

Isn't it funny how everyone else thinks they are marvellous. Mind you, my biggest worry is school etc finding out what she is really like!

my son
working
17 next week

hardly at home always at girlfriends

whenever hesays "muuuuuuuuuum"

i say " i have no money"

Interestingly DS and I communicate ok. Its DH that has problems with him.

My problems were with DD, who gets on fine with DH.

thats just simple alpha male alpha female thing i think

simple indeed!! pah not likley

I blank them until they speak to me properly

or if in argumentative mood i give them all the
teenage speak back
and tell them to go and swing their chin the other way

mine is off msn for the night,
HE WILL BE NICE or he can't play with my toys.

dd got sent to bed again tonight - 3rd night running

for atitude.

its like constant PMT - she will die. cos i am going to kill her.

Can I gloat and say that my DS (13 in Jan) is actually rather lovely. He does have his moments of mumbling, but on the whole is pretty fabulous. He is wonderful with his little brothers (3 and 1), witty, polite, and gets on well with absolutely eveyone. The only thing I could grumble about is that he is totally disorganised (gets it from his father)

Is it all going to change? Am I in for a huge shock?

I already know DS2 will be a handful at 13!!!!

my 13yr old boy is quite nice - hes a little odd. but regularly says things that make me go "awwwwwwwww"

last weekend i said to dh" do i look ok?"

" you always do" he replied in one of those i've been married a zillion years and know the right way not to piss my wife off tones.

"but laydies like to hear it dad" says my lovely lad " int that right mum>?"

awwwwww

today in discussion about suject options next year he said " i'm doing art - for you"
"oh for me?"
"yes becuase you like art"

awwww - bit screwy but awww

my daughter however is going to die

My 14 yr old dd is polite most of the time but I can relate to the poster who moaned about the "tone of voice" used in front of their friends.

My cure for this was to threaten dd that the next time she spoke to me in that condescending tone in front of her friends I would not hesitate to tell her off in front of all her friends.I said this within ear shot of her mates.
Haven't had a problem since

I love sophable's comment "if your teenagers don't hate you, they will never leave home!" Soooo true!
I think all this frustrating behaviour is nature's way of loosening the strings between parent and teenager. I know that a couple of years ago I could never have imagined my DD1 (18 in Jan.) leaving home and now I cannot wait! She goes next Sept to Uni.... I know I will miss her like hell, because she means the world to me, but she is ready and I am ready! That bond between mother and daughter has been loosened by ghastly teenage stuff! To be honest, sometimes, she is just like an annoying flatmate!

dd got some new jeans yesterday

"do these look ok?"

"yes fine"

"do they look ok at the bottom"

"they look too long"

"thought they were fine" (slight tone creeping in)

"they are fine"

"they're supposed to be like that - they're skinny jeans" (more tone)

"well they really are fine then if they're supposed to be like that"

"I'm taking them back and now I have nothing to wear!!!" (major tone!!)

know what you meanLillibet! If my DD buys anything you (like she did yesterday) and asks my opinion, I sometimes say: "do you want me to say what I really think, or just say what you probably want to hear?!"

She bought a ghastly tarty dress yesterday, muttered to herself that I wouldn't like it, and when I diplomatically said "it doesn't do you justice and you have nicer things in your wardrobe" (actually wanted to say that it looked ridiculous and horrible!) she had a total strop! You can't win.....

BIL talks to MIL like total sh!t but turns into a complete "hello Mr Patterson, Mrs Patterson" when talking to anyone else

just discovered that if you lean out of their bedroom window with ps2 in your hands they suddenly discover the power of civilised speech, is this a miracle?

DD: If I put my washing in now will it be ready by morning (this at 11.30 pm on a Sunday evening when I am in bed and she has supposedly already been in bed herself for a ocuple of hours)
Me: Unless the laundry fairy is up and bopping after midnight, no.
DD:So you are saying that I am going to have nothing to wear tomorrow (TONE)
Me: If they werent all in a festering pile on the floor of your room.....
DD:It's not my fault (eye rolling and TONE)
Me: Have you honestly not got anything clean to wear tomorrow?"
DD: NO! And I can't go to school tomorrow because I've got nothing to wear. (Parting shot heard down corridor - AND IT'S NOT MY FAULT!)

This conversation is repeated at least weekly, with at least one of my teenage daughters.

Definitely agree with the "Mu...uum" comment. I just say "How much?" before DS1 even gets to the "let's give mum a hug because she likes it" part of the operation.
On his gravestone will be carved the words "in a minute"
Mine don't say "Whatever", though.

my 16 year old normally does, but the attitude does come out a few times, she doesnt get on with the 14 year old who can be an absolute pain a bit of an attention seeker and stubborn with it.

pmsl at this thread, my DS1 who's 13 is perfectly chatty to me (bar occasional attitude! - adjusted by removal of msn etc) but he can do nothing but grunt to other adults - even those he knows. He was forced to stop grunting to the GP the other week when he realised I wasn't going to ask the million dollar question for him (can I play rugby on saturday with this giant hole in my head?) and discovered that actually other adults won't eat you whole if you do more than grunt at them - however I've yet to see evidence of this learning experience being used elsewhere - {groan emoticon}

Oh they are soooo embarassing to be out with aren't they? I sometimes think people must judge me to be a terrible mother due to my son's inability to hold a conversation.

OH My GOD, how I giggeled at this thread. It kind of reminded me abit of me when I was younger, but I use to go to my step dad first, because he would listen to my whole speel before he said "No", whereas mum would say No on Muuummmm.

My dd on the other hand just goes, "I dont care" with ATTTTTIIIIIIITUUUUDEEEEE!!!!!!!

If I'm really unlucky I will have I hate you and want to live with my dad thrown in aswell with the bedroom door slammed in my face.

Oh the joys do they ever grow out of it and how long does it last.