Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Dd (nearly 14) doesn't meet friends during holidays

34 replies

googlenut · 05/04/2015 21:28

Just wondering if I am worrying about nothing. Dd is nearly 14 and has two younger brothers of 12 and 10. She has always had a group of friends around her which have more or less remained the same since first school. She is very easy going, never any bother or difficulties with friendships. But during weekends and school holidays she doesn't really contact her friends or go out with them, except occasionally if
Someone else organises a shopping trip. She seems content to hang out with the family but at her age I had a sister close in age to confide in about the usual girly stuff. She just doesn't seem to have this and I worry something may be missing for her.
Anyone else with teenage girls who can identify/comment.

OP posts:

Looby4 · 05/04/2015 21:30

Watching - my dd is the same.

WyfOfBathe · 05/04/2015 21:33

I don't have teenagers, but I was like that at your DD's age. I would rather be curled up with a book/film/video games than out with my mates.

It changed when I was about 16, and I would meet up with friends maybe 2/3 times a week during the holidays -- but I still wasn't one of those teenagers who are out all of the time!

LIZS · 05/04/2015 21:34

I've got one similar!

Worriedaboutthefallout · 05/04/2015 21:34

My dd only meets up if something is organised like a party or cinema trip. She does not get hanging around in someone else's house and much rathers being home alone. She does Skype and interacts on fb etc with them. She would quite happily miss parties and trips that are organised but I encourage her to go to be social. She enjoys whe she does. I have no concerns as she seems happy .

yellowdaisies · 05/04/2015 21:36

My DSD is a bit similar. She's 14, and a very pleasant, sociable, if a little shy, girl. I do worry a bit as to why not and try gently to encourage her. She never really made the transition from having arranged play dates to sorting her own social life, unlike her older sister who was hardly in by that age.

Does your DD intact with friends online much? I think for some kids that can be enough out of school, and they quite like just relaxing the rest of the time. Do your DD's school friends meet up with each other out of school, does she know?

Though my DSD's a hard girl to read. She has at least one friend at school, but not many I don't think. I'm not sure she's really that happy with things, but it's hard to know what would help.

Original poster

googlenut · 05/04/2015 21:48

Thanks all -
She doesn't have any difficulty making friends. Two of her friends are very into horses (but don't do this together). One lives quite far away so doesn't meet the others out of school very much. So I don't think the others meet up without her.
Although she doesn't seem to show any interest in boys yet she is very into make up and clothes. I'd just like to see her have someone to chat with this apart from me.
I do think she is happy in her own company and I think this is a terrific skill - she is never bored. I was like this at her age but did have a sister to confide in and was in a dance troupe.

OP posts:

Worriedaboutthefallout · 05/04/2015 22:00

Google she sounds normal to me. Some of dd friends are always out and about and others happy at home. Long may it last, have a ds at a levels and I can't keep him in.

Maria33 · 05/04/2015 22:04

My dd was the same till she turned 16 - now it's all about her friends. Enjoy her company while it lasts

Mrsjayy · 05/04/2015 22:08

My dd is a bit older but is the same she will go out for a birthday or go to a friends house it does annoy me sometimes as she can be clingy she has friends at school and socialies online but doesnt venture far

Loveleopardprint · 05/04/2015 22:11

Another one here. Dd 15 has lots of lovely friends but as we are rural it is hard for them to spontaneously meet up. She is perfectly happy though.

AnyFucker · 05/04/2015 22:17

normal

Gymbob · 05/04/2015 22:54

mine is 16 and it worries me that she'd rather be with me or home alone. she used to meet up with friends and get invites up to about Y9 but then it stopped. she has a couple of disabilities though, and can be hard work so I put it down to that

LittlePeasMummy1 · 05/04/2015 22:57

I was like this as a child/teen and still am. I'm an introvert and a bit of a homebody. Nothing to worry about.

CalicoBlue · 05/04/2015 23:19

I think it is normal for teenagers now. They do not need to meet up to socialise, they can all chat together on line.

My DD (13) will meet up to shop or to go to the cinema or for something specific. This holiday she has gone out twice, otherwise she is chatting on line to her friends.

I expect it to change when it gets warmer, parks are still a bit cold now.

Mrsfluff · 05/04/2015 23:23

I have a nearly 15 year old DD and she is just the same. I know she has lots of friends at school , but out of school she's happier Jun her own space or spending time with me and her Dad and our wider family.

Fifis25StottieCakes · 05/04/2015 23:36

It seems all the kids are the same now, when i was the age my DD is now, 13, i would be out the house every evening and all weekend with friends. My dd just seems to sit in her room talking to her friends on video apps.

I was worried about it then thought well shes talking to her friends who are in their bedroom at home as well. I still don't like it, i would rather she went out but it seems no one else does either. She goes out sometimes but not for long.

Gymbob · 06/04/2015 07:39

mine doesn't do social media either

Minnie11 · 06/04/2015 07:46

Sorry, Mum of a son here but couldn't help but read. My son and his friends are the same. I try and get him out and socialising but at 14 it's much more difficult to make him do things.

Original poster

googlenut · 06/04/2015 08:22

I can get her out no problem - but usually for things we do as a family. She doesn't really use social media that much and her friends are not really into using their phones that much for texting etc.
I suppose it is this complete lack of contact with girls her own age in the holidays and out of school that is worrying me. I want her to have some one she can talk to about boys, make up etc not just me.
Maybe this will happen as she gets older. At least I know there are many others like this.

OP posts:

MerryKat · 06/04/2015 08:37

My dd was like this and then when she neared 15 she started going out lots more. I used to worry that she would never leave her room but she was still socialising on FaceTime etc. it ain't like it used to be!

DesperatelySeekingSanity · 06/04/2015 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsjayy · 06/04/2015 12:29

Btw dd isnt 1 bit shy or lacks confidence she just isnt 1 for hanging about when she was that age she hated hanging about town but was fine if she was going to town for something iyswim she just prefers having a purpose rather than hanging about

BackforGood · 06/04/2015 17:47

Pretty normal.
My dd has only just started occasionally (as in less than once per holiday) meeting people in the holidays and she's 16.
Don't forget because they aren't physically in the same place, today dc can still be "talking" to each other through all the different social media they have.

Rivercam · 06/04/2015 17:51

My ds is the same. I hear about other teens meeting in town, cinema etc but ds doesn't see, bothered. He's not unhappy at school and seems to have friends, and is social uses via social media. I feel he's missing out on this bit of growing up, but he's not bothered.

His 13 year old younger brother is more sociable.

Micah · 06/04/2015 17:54

Google the introverted child.

Just don't push her to go out and make friends, or make her feel that not doing this is abnormal, or that there's something wrong with her/people won't like her if she doesn't make more effort. Let her socialise within her own comfort zone.

Flip

1 2