CHALLENGING TEENAGERS!

[JKMUM999]

Hi Fellow Mums. Have you experienced a challenging teenager?? Did you

think you were the only mum going through those difficulties, and despair of

your lovely youngster reaching adulthood safely? Did you think all of your

friends’ children, were just sailing through adolescence, with not a raised

voice or swear word to be heard? I did, and with shiny brass knobs on!! Mine

is now 29 and near perfect! How I wish I’d known that he’d morph into this

delightful young man at the time. I could have avoided all of that trauma, all

of those sleepless nights!!

We’re now 5 years’ on, and my experiences have sent me on a path of

studying the subject in depth! I would love you to share your experiences with

me – son or daughter, age irrelevant, past or present, and even better if you

could include their perception of these times too.

Feel free to use different names/locations.

Very many thanks, and look forward to comparing notes!!!!!

Are you a journalist, or writing a book or something ?

Do you want us to PM you or just post on this thread and what exactly do you want to know? My traumas are ongoing at the moment.

I would love to read other people's experiences and to know that it all turns out ok in the end. I find this very encouraging as I do often think I am the only one going through this and that it will never end. Currently struggling with a highly unmotivated/opinionated/stubborn DD16 just now and it is sure causing me many sleepness nights.

Challenging teen? Oh yes. DS1 (16) tells me he loves me every day, is happy to give kisses and cuddes etc. DS2 (15) 'despises' me, tells me I'm a terrible parent, doesn't want to do anything that involves spending time together and goes absolutely ballistic when I challenge him on his behaviour or take things away as a consequence. This week I have removed Netflix (which he watches by himself in the study, every day. God forbid that he is disturbed while watching). I am now officially The Devil.

I too am the devil, she went to buy a classy dress for a very formal business occasion and I vetted the one she liked by photograph first.

she came back with a bit of stretch elastic, more akin to a wide belt, with cut outs round the middle. looked like a tart in it and just can't understand why I'm saying it's not appropriate

Hi there JKMUM999,
Welcome to Mumsnet, we just wanted to let you know that we really are a site that operates on a peer support basis rather than having one expert (however hard won the knowledge) and people asking questions of them. Of course your insights will no doubt be invaluable, why not take a look around the teenagers' board and see if you think you can help people out with their specific worries on each thread?

It would be nice to read a nice positive thread about how well things turned out after all the problems of the teenage years. I am still in the thick of it but it would give me hope and help me to get through it all :)

Can I just say I’m pretty new to this sort of thing, and wouldn’t want anyone to think I wasn’t respecting the rules of the boards. If I’m doing anything contrary to those rules, just let me know. I’m off to read them now though anyway, once I’ve posted this!! J

I felt a little clarification of my original post was needed, particularly for Travelledtheworld and YetAnotherHelenMumsnet. No, I’m not a journalist, and I’m really no expert on Challenging Teenagers, but I do believe there’s a huge benefit to us mums’ sharing past and present experiences that we’ve been through!

I’ve had just the one teenager, (big time trouble)! I trawled through all the books, rung up all the help lines, and often queried his, and my own sanity!! But, the most comfort I got by far, was from the occasional mum, who ‘let slip’ that maybe her teenager wasn’t quite perfect either!! There were actually others out there!!!! Hip hip hooray!!!

In quite a big circle of mums, everyone else’s seemed to be straight A’s, straight teeth, straight forward, but through those nightmare years, I felt a total and utter failure!!!

Then, the other evening, talking to my now delightful, ex-nightmare son, I was explaining how agonising a time it all was, and if I’d known then, just how many other parents go through the same thing, it would have made it sooo much easier.

HE then suggested, with the power of the internet, and brilliant sites like Mums.net, why not let others going through the same difficulties, share and compare their experiences, and benefit from knowing they’re not alone? A problem shared and all that ….. Yes, its been a while for me, and I’m now (thank goodness) out of the other side, but I’ll never forget those dark dark days!!!

Oh my goodness, as I said, NEW to this!!! Apologies for the multiple posting!!

jkmum, you are right that parents really benefit from knowing those who have got through difficult teen years, it is isolating. Like you, mumsnet wasnt around when my DD was really struggling so I try to offer a bit of support if I can. There are a few threads on here for kids not going to school for example, etc, so if you see postings you have experience with, any tips you have for posters will be appreciated. Glad to hear your DS came through the other side.