Drunk 15 year old DD , how to handle?

[Camomileteaneeded]

My DD is almost 16 and generally a great young adult , she studies well , has lovely friendship group , lots of interests and plans for 6 th form and Uni , so typical teenager really . But she really worries me with her attitude to drinking alcohol ( I do have alcoholism in my immediate family so could be getting this out of proportion ) .

She's been to 4 " parties" since July where drink has been available . Three times she has come home very drunk . When I say very drunk , I mean vomiting , falling over and generally a risk to herself . She has a busy social life generally seeing friends , activities and no problems then.

Ive tried the " give them information and advice " given her trust and hoped that she'd learn from her last experience . But last night she was only away from home for two hours and was in a right state when we picked her up , so she obviously can't be trusted . I know it's NYE but she's only 15 !

I've had a sleepless night , making sure she's not sick again and worrying . Her attitude to alcohol is frightening , everything I read talks about the younger you start drinking the higher chance of developing alcoholism in later life . besides the risk she puts herself in when she gets like this.

So advice please , I'm really finding it difficult to know how to handle , short of locking her in the attic till she's 18
Would you ground her , take away privileges , just keep talking ( hasn't worked so far ) or any other advice please . Or do I put this down to normal teen behaviour ?

This kine of thing frightens me. Where I grew up it just was so frowned upon that only the kids with the worst problems drank. I wouldn't have a clue what to do in the absence of that cultural pressure to not drink.

There's a lot of alcoholism in my ex's family, so when I found my dd being offered at alcopop at the age of 12 I sat her down and explained that she was genetically more at risk of alcoholism and also that alcohol removes your inhibitions so she ran the risk of getting pregnant at a very inconvenient age.

I was very lucky, because she really listened to me, and now, 18 years later she will only drink on very special occasions and that will be one or two glasses of beer.

I also think it helps if they are not too shy, because alcohol is a terrible crutch for shy people.

Very tricky to get this right. I wasn't allowed any alcohol at home, my parents just didn't drink, or socialise, so it never cropped up. I spent my late teens and 20s drinking far too much.

I now have DDs who are nearly 14, they have already been to parties where alcohol has been smuggled in - a bottle of coke with vodka in it. One DD was a bit shocked by it and isn't remotely interested in trying any booze, the other thought it was the coolest thing and admitted she was tempted to try a swig but didn't.

NY eve we had friends over and I gave all the teens a very small glass of bubbly to toast in the new year, with their parents permission. They all stood there sipping it, and my DD suggested they 'neck it' . I think in some kids it's just inherently in them to push the boundaries more.

I shall be keeping a very close eye on her!

Dress it up how you like, shirley, your house does indeed sound joyless, no matter how many people have traipsed in and out of it over the festive season.

Anyone who describes themself as "an uptight parent" and rations alcohol out to adults in their own home sounds joyless to me.

So people who don't drink alcohol are joyless?
You're being a bit defensive I think.

ohmygrood, don't be daft - that's not what I posted at all!

I'm an uptight parent. Mine have never come home drunk and still now the adult ones wouldn't dare. They know perfectly well that regardless of age they simply wouldn't be let into the house if they were. Those are my rules and they respect them, if only for fear of the consequences.
I never once came home drunk as a teen. Ever. I wouldn't have dreamed of doing such a thing.
Needless to say, my mother was quite surprised when she found out, years later, that I started binge drinking when I was thirteen.

All other considerations aside, I think having kids who aren't afraid to call you and say they need a ride home when they (and their friends) are in bad shape can only be a good thing. I get a chill when I think about how many times I got in the car with somebody who was as drunk as I was.

Op that sounds like a very sensible approach, and your dd may even be quite happy about it. It sounds as if she finds it hard to resist when people suggest she has 'one more' drink, even though her intention is not to get drunk. Hopefully more talking and perhaps a few more months growing up and she'll get better at managing party type situations.

I'm glad that my two (14 and 15) haven't got into partying yet. They have both got slightly tipsy at family gatherings, and seen others the worse for wear and I hope are learning that a drink or two is quite nice, but getting drunk is mostly just pretty embarrassing.

Oh and like others as a teen I never ever went home if I got drunk (my parents rarely picked me up) although I mostly was fairly sensible, I certainly spent time with people who weren't and my parents didn't have a clue.

I'm an uptight parent. Mine have never come home drunk and still now the adult ones wouldn't dare. They know perfectly well that regardless of age they simply wouldn't be let into the house if they were. Those are my rules and they respect them, if only for fear of the consequences.

I get that they respect it, but surely you are risking them ending up somewhere that is not safe and at risk of getting into some kind of trouble? Far better that they are at home and you know they are safe?

My eldest was at a party last night, same age as your DD. Nobody was allowed to take alcohol but the mother provided weak cider, shandy and they were each allowed a Bucks Fizz. I knew this in advance, it was fine but if I had strict rules like yours then I'd never have been told.

I wasn't allowed out too late at 15 and was always picked up by about 11. My mum had a terrible experience with alcohol when she was young and as a result didn't tolerate drunkenness.

I did go out and drink quite from when I was an older teen, but never to the point of vomiting or passing out. I don't drink much now, and getting drunk is just boring for me.

My mum was strict, but also very open as to why she didn't like the drinking culture. When my daughter is 15, she will know that drinking to excess will not be tolerated, but I am an understanding person so hope that she'll know she can always talk about anything she needs to.