paying nominal sum for board as an apprentice

[traceyinrosso70]

My DS has an interview tomorrow for an apprenticeship but also has a college place to do a 2 year BTech . He has just discovered that he will get £100.50 a week if he gets offered the job and when we dropped in to conversation that he would need to pay a small sum towards his board ( we thought about £15 a week which will cover what we will lose in child benefit) he has absolutely flipped his lid. He doesn't think its fair because big sister (18) doesn't pay any but she is just finishing A levels and just has a Saturday job. He has a Saturday job too and we have said its his decision - stop on at college and don't pay board or take the apprenticeship ,if offered, and pay board. Are we being unreasonable or just teaching him the value of money? £15 a week won't even cover the cost of food, let alone the laundry service and heat/light but we felt it was more making the point that you start to fend for yourself once you start to earn.

Oops Anyfucker crossed posts - just seen the second comment - apologies for the sharpness

All of us had to pay one third in to the house pot, regardless of income.
So my first Saturday job (years ago mind) paid £10. I paid £3 to the house, was allowed to spend £3 and encouraged to save £3. I also had the child benefit too though.

I think it's absolutely fair.

I paid board when I was 16 for the duration of the summer holidays when I got a holiday job before starting A levels but I didn't pay whilst studying when I only had a Saturday job.

It's all part of learning how to manage your money.

OP - if DD goes off to uni, will she be expected to pay towards her living costs?

Personally I would sit them down and say as of 18 years, what help you are prepared to give them if they are still in education, depending on where they are living etc.

I probably wouldn't charge a 16 year old till he is 18, but as others have said, cut back on your other contributions to him.

I wouldn't take money from my child for living in my house, but we aren't reliant on CB.

If my child was earning reasonably but was poor at saving then I might ask for rent, but I would save it up and return it for rent/mortgage deposit. But I hope to train my DD to save without me having to do it for her.

I think that how your parents treated you has a big impact on how you want to treat your own children (either because you want todo the same or the complete opposite). My parents have always been very generous with me and I'd like to "pay it forward" and I think my parents would expect me to.

Why do people keep misreading my posts ? Am I not making myself clear ?

Could you explain to him that from the perspective of bringing in income, you would be taking the same to cover the deficit in CB even if it was from job seekers as opposed to wages.

My parents have always been extremely generous to me (& still are) - but I still Paid board

I think people are misreading your quotes Anyfucker because when you are quoting from other posters its not highlighted so it appears to be your line.

That was the mistake I made anyway when I was skimminng back on posts.

I mean look at this way. If you used the CB as pocket money for both kids (even it out so the eldest didn't get extra), and then lost CB for one child as they had their own income - you wouldn't then make up the shortfall presumably.

So would you say you spend the equivalent of CB in phone bills, bus fare etc? Cos if so then it's pretty easy to explain it that way.

I think you should be proud of him and encourage him - this is not the way to do it. Don't chrge him board for the apprentice position - how is that different to being in college really? it's nominal - not fair

I don't believe I have quoted anybody

Never mind, like a PP said, it seems there is more than one way to skin a cat. Happy days, our teenagers are making their way in the world

Any way, usual gets me

After a bit of discussion so he doesn't feel we are penalising him for choosing the apprenticeship we have decided to , as suggested by a few posts on here, not charge him an official rate for board but make him responsible for his phone/clothes etc - he seems happier with this approach ! We have said once he has finished his apprenticeship, if he gets offered it of course, and is on a normal full time wage then he will pay board. The apprenticeship does come with a guaranteed job at the end of it for the successful candidate so it does have prospects !

tracy, he will soon discover that paying the board would probably have been the cheaper option for him

I think that too but if it is sugar coating a bitter pill then that's ok with me !

I have two children who are both apprentices, ds1 earns £11,000 a year so I charge him £40 a week. DS2 earns £108 a week so I don't charge him anything. I think it's common sense, you might feel like you're losing out butI have had a chat with Ds2 explaining he can't come to me for any money anymore and he needs to manage his own. You will probably find once he is buying his own clothes, and paying for outings/ travel/ driving lessons, you won't have lost money at all! This way they are still learning about responsibility and budgeting.
It's just my opinion but I hope it helps.

I don't see anything wrong in charging board. I can't afford to lose child benefit and tax credits if one of my children takes an apprenticeship. It won't kill them to learn that they don't get anything in life for free and that contributing towards the household is the right thing to do. Those of you who are disgusted with that, well, you can obviously afford to absorb the costs.

Well i don't see what is wrong asking for 'keep'...teaches the value of money.....my goodness me...I had to do it...my older 2 children did...it isn't much is it???? Yes and I would love to have £400 to spend on myself every month....I think your more than right OP....

£100 for a pair of trainers??? Really? never, never.....

Stop it with faux shock smiley

Why are you acting surprised that trainers cancost £100.

IMO it's no difference than a pair of ladies shoes costing that much. In fact probably better value because the lads tend to wear the trainers all the time.

If you can't be fashionable when you are a teenager when can you?

To be fiair the Adidas trainers and the like that were fashionable in the early 80's were probably over priced and allowing for inflation I'll bet there isn't a huge amount of difference between then and now.

I know this is a slightly different argument than charging board or not but it gets my goat when people expect prices not to have moved on.

Of course you can buy cheaper but what's wrong with saving up and paying for something you really want and like.

If it were a proper 'job' earning a full time wage I would say YANBU. But as this is a training course I think YAB slightly U if you are going to support your DD at uni but then charge your DS while he is effectively studying too.

So I don't think I would charge 'keep'. I think it would be seen as fairer to expect him to cover his own expenses - phone, clothes, travel costs, lunches, etc. Even though they will come to far more than £15 a week...!

Also I would make it clear some of the money earned must be saved for future costs, like learning to drive.

Dd is currently studying for a PGCE and living at home. She has a student loan and grant and gives us a quarter of this for living costs. When she was away at uni she got the maximum loan and grant and paid for everything which is why - as she hasn't got to pay for food or power out of her money - we feel it is fair that she contributes £30 pounds a week to the household budget.

I would add that both dh and I are pensioners so our income is not very high.