Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Are all 15 year olds taking booze to parties?

111 replies

Kbear · 11/04/2014 18:14

apparently my DD is the only one whose parents don't buy her alcohol to take to parties...

I am remembering being 15 and drinking cider and hiding my drunk friends from my parents

I am remembering DH being the same and worse - so we have no room to talk about underage drinking but of course we don't want our DD doing it! haha

I'm not in AIBU but you're all going to tell me I am, right?....

advise please and sympathetic hugs about parenting teenagers :) and boundaries and letting go and other difficult stuff!

OP posts:

Solo · 13/04/2014 23:37

I haven't bought any for my 15yo Ds and he's been to more parties than I have in the last 12 months.

He asked me last week if I would buy some for next weeks party and that's the first request from him. My answer was no. He asked if he could take two cans of Fosters from the fridge. My answer was still no.

I have asked him not to drink alcohol at the previous parties he's been to and as far as I know he hasn't. Mostly, I collect him. One he stayed over I wasn't happy to help clean up!
I hear that other teens take alcohol to parties, but who actually buys it or supplies it for them I have no idea.

BackforGood · 14/04/2014 00:11

there were 15 year olds there doing Guides and Scouts, really geeky, but very sweet

This kind of comment REALLY gets me cross.
My dd was out with Scouts today, and ended up taking part in a real life rescue that has almost certainly saved a man's limb. I'm immensely proud of her and everybody who was there today, but having those skills doesn't make them some kind of social outcasts. All 3 of my dc have been through Scouts, and none of them are short of social invites. Like SirChenJin siad - quite the opposite.

Zucker · 14/04/2014 00:37

C'mon do the people who have teenagers going to these parties with no alcohol really think their drinkless teens are standing there sipping tap water all night?

BackforGood · 14/04/2014 00:48

Zucker - there's a BIG difference between a 15 yr old - quite probably Yr10 - child, and once they have gone into the 6th form.
IME (ds is at the end of Yr13) have dns at University, God-dd and God-ds at university as well as friends and cousins children - the house parties where is does involve alcohol, start in the 6th form.
Prior to that, they are just a gaggle of mates nattering away. Not tap water, no, but doesn't mean they are all necking the alcohol either.

SirChenjin · 14/04/2014 08:19

I'm getting confused with Years and Forms - we don't have them here in Scotland. Is 6th Form the same as 6th Year here, ie 18 years old?

slartybartfast · 14/04/2014 08:29

sixth form starts at 16.

slartybartfast · 14/04/2014 08:29

sixth form goes on for 2 years, finishign when you are 18

slartybartfast · 14/04/2014 08:30

i buy a couple of bottles of bulmers cider or perry for dd who is 16 nearly 17.
i wouldnt do same for 15 year old. though ds was drinking at 15.

NigellasDealer · 14/04/2014 08:39

I do sometimes buy a few beers for my son and his friend but very occasionaly and only a few.

Damnautocorrect · 14/04/2014 08:45

I remember seeing that Newquay program where they were saying part of the problem was the parents buying it, each parent of a large party of 15/16 year olds (on holiday) was giving them booze. But this then added up to a ridiculous amount.

NigellasDealer · 14/04/2014 08:48

well it does depend what you mean by 'booze'. for me, that means hard spirits and any parent who is buying their teens that deserves the full force of SS. and yes round here, parents do buy bottles of vodka for them. I find it shocking, yet on the other hand I would be slated for buying them a few beers by another type of parent wouldn't I?

SirChenjin · 14/04/2014 09:03

Yes, because buying them a couple of beers for the occasional house party means you're either the liberal middle class type who is trying to be their friend or you live in a "scabby area"

NigellasDealer · 14/04/2014 09:04

cheers mate

claraschu · 14/04/2014 09:11

I don't buy it, but most of them are drinking at parties at this age. My kids are friends with a big mixture of state / private school kids in Oxford (wide range of incomes and social background), and they almost all drink. Some of them successfully deceive their parents.

DownstairsMixUp · 14/04/2014 09:22

All the people saying "I regualarly bought alcohol underage back when I was young - my parents didn't know" Well it's not the same now! Even back when I was 15/16 (which was only just over a decade ago) it was nowhere near as strict as it is now. All the shops round here now follow the think 25 policy, some are even using the "think 30" Makes it a lot harder now.

I would buy my DS a couple of beers once he has left school (so 16-17) but nothing under that no, though I'd be tempted to full him with becks blue and change the label if he kicked off! Booze and and me generally ended in me making bad choices even in my 20's so can't imagine a house full of pissed hormonal teens. :S

SirChenjin · 14/04/2014 10:03

There weren't nearly the same number of shops selling alcohol back in the 80s/early 90s - but it was just as easy then as it is now to get someone else to buy you alcohol. As for ID...well, we used to make our own or borrow someone else's paper driving licence. It was just as easy to get hold of alcohol then as it is now.

BackforGood · 14/04/2014 10:33

I don't know SirChenjin. We went to a (50th) birthday party the other week as a family. In a works social club, all as families, and my 18yr old niece was distraught when she realised she'd come out without ID - 100% convinced she wouldn't get served and wouldn't go near the bar all night (she doesn't look underage or anything, it's just their experience that until you look about 35 you'll get ID'd wherever you go - my other niece couldn't believe that I didn't automatically carry ID with me wherever I go).
At 18 I'd have been comfortable that I'd be served in that sort of environment, if not in a club or City Centre bar.
I needed some matches the other day and asked my 15 yr old to nip into the shop for me, and she pointed out they wouldn't let her buy them as she was under age!

BackforGood · 14/04/2014 10:34

Sorry, forgot to answer your 6th form question - you go into 6th form the September after your 16th birthday. So my June born ds is almost 18 now, at the end of his 2nd year, but my Sept born dd will be turning 17 at the start of 6th form.

MamaPain · 14/04/2014 10:50

BackforGood don't be so sensitive. I've already managed to discuss this nicely with SirChenjin, I obviously didn't mean it in a nasty way. However these kids were doing some sort of Easter Egg raffle and Face Painting, sorry I didn't recognise their life saving abilities, which as it happens are not exclusive to scouts and guides. My DC have done advanced First Aid courses through their hobby and through school. It's hardly a slight on your DD to notice some obviously very geeky kids who happen to share the same activity as herself. If I had said there were guides and scouts behaving particularly poorly I don't imagine you'd be rushing to associate your DD with them.

Btw much to my eternal glee I still regularly get asked for ID here and I'm 41. I might not look my age but I certainly don't look under 18! I think it's just become a policy in lots of shops to ask unless the person looks ancient. Some staff clearly take it very seriously and spend ages calculating my age while umming and ahhing.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 14/04/2014 10:54

There's lots if house parties where we live, both for teens and adults. DS and sometimes end up at the same one! He's nearly 16. I give him 6 Budweiser or similar and he often brings some back with him. When we hosted a party in January, there were around 10 friends age 15 to 20. They all brought alcohol and all except one were sensible. DS booted the offender out as he didn't want to be around someone like that.

DS also goes to a mates house every few weeks for a board games night with his mates family and a few others. I think they have a couple of beers then.

I and other parents are comfortable with it - as long as it is not excessive.

LuisSuarezTeeth · 14/04/2014 10:57

I can't decide between "scabby area" or "liberal middle class". Choices....

Nocomet · 14/04/2014 10:58

I'm 46 and I have never ever been asked for ID.

I think I have just gone through life a few years ahead of the fuss. Our rural pubs served us from 14, university bars and pubs by the university never asked (just assumed everyone was 18. My best DF wasn't at freshers (she'd been HE abroad and put up a year when she got home)

NigellasDealer · 14/04/2014 10:59

I am liberal middle class and i live in a scabby area....lucky kids get double beer rations

LuisSuarezTeeth · 14/04/2014 11:00

Nigellas

claraschu · 14/04/2014 11:06

My 15 year old son can buy alcohol and tobacco . He knows which stores won't bother to ask for ID, and there are quite a few, unfortunately.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5