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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teenage dd self medicating with cannabis

87 replies

losingdd · 03/08/2006 11:15

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drosophila · 05/08/2006 11:35

My nephew (17) is doing the same thing and has been for a couple of years. My sister decided to pretty much ignore it but to tell him about it being bad for depression. She decided against lecturing and nagging and threatening. According to my sister he is now trying to give up.

He has seen a councellor once but refuses to go again and to be honest if they refuse elp I don't know what you can do.

I just wanted you to know that it is happening in another family.

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 05/08/2006 11:37

sorry, me again. just seeing what you said about her sobbing so much last night - not wanting to state the obvious - but have you asked her if other things (boyfriends, friends, school - usual candidates) are ok? to my mind there must be more to this than just realising weed is not so good an idea. Maybe - if her friends smoke a lot - she's worried about loosing them? or feels unsettled by the idea that maybe, after all, they're not quite the soulmates she thought they were etc etc. I'd encourage her to talk about everything. (But, as I said, might be stating the obvious)

liquidclocks · 05/08/2006 16:47

Hi again - just wanted to say that I think you're doing great and the advice from www about the nicotine addiction is bang on.

Did you say she's starting college in september? what's she going to study, is there anything over the summer she can do to start focussing her mind on her new course/the future. Also will she meet new people there? One of the most helpful things for me overcoming my depressionas a teenager was meeting new friends and 'dropping' the so-called friends I had in school.

big

Original poster
losingdd · 06/08/2006 14:07

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Tyedye · 06/08/2006 14:14

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liquidclocks · 06/08/2006 17:09

I really don't know about the nicotine thing not being an 'evil' as it were - you certainly don't want her to smoke for the rest of her life. But - I think it does less psychological damage than weed. When I worked in psychiatric inpatients we didn't 'encourage' smoking, but we did very much allow it if people wanted to even though some health professionals wanted us not to endorse it. We did it because there's enough psychological stuff going on without trying to crack and addiction and nicotine does genuinely calm people if they're addicted so can be quite helpful.

From a personal point of view - about the new college - I grew up in a big village with one high school that didn't have a sixth form. When I left school my new college was an hour and a half away on the bus but actually that was a good thing. The new people I met and made friends with were also from varying distances and totally different from the 'friends' I'd left behind. Hopefully your DD will find a similar thing - also having a separate sixth form I think encourages young people to start making the transition from child to adult, perhaps she will realise she is growing up and needs to take responsibility for herself.

Your DS sounds like an absolure sweetheart btw - hopefully on some level she's heard him and will understand that her behaviour affects him too.

WideWebWitch · 06/08/2006 17:32

Hi again, Oh I do, I do think nicotine is evil, really do, which is why I said it is 'briefly' the lesser of two evils because I have also seen a relative have some psychiatric issues (I am hesitating and wondering whether to post this) which she now attributes to smoking cannabis. So I think in that sort of scheme of things the odd fag, where at least there is loads of help to stop once you want to, is prob better than the other smoking. Sorry to hear she smoked dope yesterday but I hope the break helps, sometimes just being somewhere different does help.

WideWebWitch · 07/08/2006 21:14

How's it going?

Original poster
losingdd · 10/08/2006 13:20

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ProfessorGrammaticus · 10/08/2006 13:34

I recently heard a consultant psychiatrist summarise the issues with drug addiction (though he was referring specifically to heroin). He said that step 1 was to stop the chemical addiction then stabilise, step 2 to readdress lifestyle choices, friends, routines etc.

So it sounds as if your strategy is right to me. He also said there were always setbacks, ie using, on the way.

Good luck, be strong.

LaidbackinAsia · 10/08/2006 14:36

Hi losingDD - I wish more parents were like you !! - I have worked in substance misuse for 10 years. You really can't make her do anything that she doesn't want to do - but you can support her and be well informed. Most areas have courses for parents run by the local DAAT (drug and alcohol action team) - it's a national requirement. They can be very informative - around drugs, their effect and how to deal with the fallout. Also useful for meeting other parents in the same situation. Let me know what area you are in.

Also - in my experience - young people find it really hard to go to their GP's or drug services to get help - it takes a huge amount of confidence - even as an adult. I have had several of my clients complete an online help course specifically relating to cannabis. Link here

www.knowcannabis.org.uk/selfhelp.htm

a bit more anonymous.

Often cutting down before stopping is more realistic - ie. smoke only 2 joints a day or every other day. Although not physically addictive, cannabis can be hugely psychologically addictive, especially when people are using it to block out problems.

Hope this helps

Original poster
losingdd · 22/08/2006 17:02

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losingdd · 22/08/2006 21:58

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DVX · 22/08/2006 22:18

losingdd I hvae no experience except my own and I dont think it is very relevant but here goes. I took drugs as a teenager and was appalling and hard work. I never went to school, got expelled and spent most of the time at parties all night stop outs and messing around on the Kings Road. Eventually my mum packed me off to work on a farm for a year and that sorted me out but I wanted to go!

Now I look back in amazement at the behaviour I used to do. yet at the time I thought I ahd a perfect right to do what I did I wasnt happy though and it took going right away for a year to sort out my head. I have gone on to be pretty successful and have my own business and whilst no relationship at all with my mum it is not because of that and I did make it up wiht her and go home after three years away.

Take care because it must be awful to go through this and I cannot imagine it form your point of view and now with kids of my own. But form your daughters I guess she is hurting and not happy wiht ehr own behaviour either and needs to break out of her current patterns and firendships.

stephanieplum · 22/08/2006 22:19

Take care losingdd I am thinking of you adn was so sorry to read this!

Original poster
losingdd · 23/08/2006 11:14

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Original poster
losingdd · 28/08/2006 16:20

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charliecat · 28/08/2006 16:21

Do you know where shes gone?
Whereever she goes she will have to abide by some sort of rules...she just hasnt realised that yet.

Molesworth · 28/08/2006 16:21

losingdd

so sorry to hear this

there seem to be a lot of us having trouble with our dds at the moment ...

WideWebWitch · 28/08/2006 16:24

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this. seems totally inadequate but I don't know what else you could have done. Poor you. Is there anyone nearby supporting you?

WideWebWitch · 28/08/2006 16:27

wickedwaterwitch at g mail
d o t co m if you want to rant off board or if there's anything I can do.

Original poster
losingdd · 28/08/2006 16:31

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charliecat · 28/08/2006 16:34

At least you know where she is, which is better than her vanishing and you having to worry about her whereabouts.
She will become bored of the dossing about, no money lifestyle.

Original poster
losingdd · 28/08/2006 16:43

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losingdd · 29/08/2006 07:43

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