I did a huge response to this on Saturday, as I was going away for the weekend and didn't want to leave things without saying thanks to everyone. Clearly I didn't post it properly. Doh!
Thanks to the fussy eaters who posted. I am hoping that she comes around and your posts have given me more hope that one day she'll sort things out for herself. Lots of finger crossing, encouragement and home cooking and hopefully, we'll get there.
In the meantime, I'm going to keep an eye on DD's eating, and on her fitness/tiredness levels. If she starts dipping again in the next couple of weeks I'll get her booked in for a quick check with the doc for anaemia and such. I know how horrid it is to be nearly anaemic as I was put on iron for 3 months running up to Christmas cos my levels were really low. Doc said it was like your car being really low on fuel. It'll work, but will eventually stop functioning properly. He said it's best to catch it before it goes crucial.
MrsBright thank you so much for your comments. I've told dd that she doesn't have to do piano in any way if she doesn't want to once the half term is over. I told her what you'd said and she said it makes sense. She says that she prefers to do her own music, but realises that doing lessons will give her some of the skills she needs. She says she'll struggle with it, but she wants to do it so we'll carry on for now. I'll email the teacher and tell her that she's getting more interested in writing so can we gear things up for that. See what happens.
I've checked the friendship situation and all is o.k. according to dd. She says she can take care of herself, and I know she loves having this independant image, but I've told her that we all need help sometimes and she can always come to us for help or advice. We're quite lucky in as much as dd likes being with us at least during meal times. She doesn't always tell us much, but I think that's part of being a teenager, and we try really hard to respect her privacy and give her a bit of room to grow. We have a 'special night' every week where dd chooses what she'd like to do and we spend time together, so I think I'm keeping the channels open, which is all I can do at this stage.
DD is on top of her school work. She's self organised in that respect. We check to see if she has any, she tells us when it's done, that's it really and she's a stickler for getting it done early, so she won't need to take off time for homework. She's frighteningly organised, bless her.
We told her on Thursday that she needed to go to school sometimes, even if she felt a bit rough, because when she starts work, she won't be able to miss loads of time off work. I also pointed out that her non-attendance impacts not just on her learning, but also on my job and the view my employers have of me. It's not acceptable to take off time every time you feel a bit 'off', so in future, she'd be sent into school and she'd have to battle through the pain for a day. I would have been more sympathetic if she'd come back unable to eat, but pasta and chicken followed by cheesecake and chocolate doesn't point to stomach problems to me. It may be that it's more complex than that, but I can call the docs if I need to.
Thank you all for your positive comments. It is so much appreciated. Hope you all had a great weekend.