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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Revision with my 16 year old

29 replies

Echelonvicky3 · 21/01/2014 19:18

Help! I am a mum of three 16,14, and 12. My 16 year old is facing gcse's and is behind in his work at school. We had a school meeting and a plan of only half an hour a night revision was discussed and agreed. He hasn't done any, he gets abusive towards me when i question his not revising. I am so worried as he wants to go on to sixth form. i have tried positive rewards, trying to talk to him like an adult, spelling it out as it is, loosing my temper, contacting the school for advice none of which is working. The worst part is the lying to me. We had a close relationship before this, I feel like I'm loosing him. Any ideas? Thank you all

OP posts:
Homebird11 · 21/01/2014 19:25

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Homebird11 · 21/01/2014 19:26

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Original poster
Echelonvicky3 · 21/01/2014 19:28

Thank you, it feels like its just me but I know I'm not alone, I just want more for him you know,

OP posts:
Homebird11 · 21/01/2014 19:40

This reply has been deleted

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Travelledtheworld · 21/01/2014 23:25

Watching with interest. I am coming up to this, DD year 10 doesn't do a stroke of work. Hardly ever gets homework. Arch procrastinator.

Original poster
Echelonvicky3 · 22/01/2014 06:53

Thanks, yes am going to contact the school today and see what they can do. Will let you know what advice they can offer.

OP posts:
Original poster
Echelonvicky3 · 22/01/2014 06:56

I know, my year 10 son is the same, hardly any homework. I am contacting the school today to see what else they can do as its so hard to take all the flack, I know that's a mums job being the closest to him but come on! I feel like I'm sitting them again, god forbid!

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Original poster
Echelonvicky3 · 22/01/2014 06:57

Give me toddlers any day, at least you can pick them up, or put them down for a nap! My 16 year old is 6ft 2 and sporty so is very strong he can pick me up and to be honest a nap would be good!!!

OP posts:
wannabestressfree · 22/01/2014 07:00

I have to be honest as a teacher most children don't revise that much for gcse's. We do lots in school and run weekend and holiday revision classes and as the time gets nearer more join in.
How is he academically?
Does he have maths or English yet?
Are there any subjects you are particularly worried about?
What does he want to do in sixth form?

JeanSeberg · 22/01/2014 07:05

What were his mock results?

Original poster
Echelonvicky3 · 22/01/2014 07:28

The thing with Alex is that everything has landed right for him, he's never had to work at anything so it's a massive shock to the system when he did so bad at his mocks. He wants to stay in the sixth form, doing ict, pe, but has to get b's in English, re, ict, pe, etc. maths is a no no, he struggles so much with maths. I am worried about pe as retaining information is a problem. His brother has asbergers and his sister is dyslexic (thought I'd throw that in in case it may have a bearing on his learning as they did think he had a form of numeracy dyslexica).

OP posts:
Original poster
Echelonvicky3 · 22/01/2014 07:30

Mocks were shocking, ungraded and failed everything, he was predicted c's across the board.

OP posts:
JeanSeberg · 22/01/2014 07:33

My son has a maths tutor and it has helped as has doing lots of past papers. The school run revision classes before and after school in lots of subjects.

Has he also considered colleges/Btec? With those grades it might be worth having a plan B.

Original poster
Echelonvicky3 · 22/01/2014 07:41

Yes thanks, I was wondering about a tutor, funnily enough school told us not to apply for colleges as he wouldn't put in the effort!

OP posts:
JeanSeberg · 22/01/2014 07:47

He may be better with a more vocational course though. I would go to a couple of open days and see what you think. This is the route my son is taking by the way.

Original poster
Echelonvicky3 · 22/01/2014 09:25

Ok haven't heard about that will look into it thank you

OP posts:
JeanSeberg · 22/01/2014 12:26

Hi Echeleon. This area was all new to me too until recently - my elder two sons both got good GCSE grades, then did A Levels and are now at uni.

My youngest son (Y11) is completely different and we have decided that a vocational course will suit him much better. The courses he has applied for are BTECs in Public Services or Aviation Operation.

BTECs have 3 entry levels post-GCSE:

Level 1 - 5 GCSEs at Grade E or above including maths and English

Level 2 - 5 GCSEs at Grade D or above including maths and English

Level 3 - 5 GCSEs at Grade C or above including maths and English

We visited two colleges in our area, he has sent off his applications and has open days/interviews coming up.

Most importantly, it's taken the pressure off - his predicted grades range are Cs, Ds and Es - so whatever his actual results, there will be a course at the appropriate level for him.

Have a look at your local colleges, they will probably have open days planned over the coming weeks.

Original poster
Echelonvicky3 · 22/01/2014 12:51

Thank you I will do

OP posts:
Alexchallex · 22/01/2014 13:28

As a teacher, I know many who don't know how to 'revise'. A lot of them just sit and read the text book, which does nothing. Ask his teachers what he should specifically be doing, e.g. Exam papers or reading and making his own notes. Tell him what to do and check he has done it. Give him rewards for doing what you ask. If you say to 'go and revise' then that will be useless. You will need to ask each teacher individually, or his form tutor if they could compile what he should be doing for each subject

JeanSeberg · 22/01/2014 13:34

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/teenagers/1950069-Im-making-myself-ill-with-worrying-about-my-dss-lack-of-motivation-particularly-at-school-Any-advice

There was some good advice on a similar thread recently OP.

oenophilia · 22/01/2014 14:36

Hi Echelon, same story here too, except he will 'revise' but it actually means browsing the net and re-reading stuff that he already knows. Mock results were all a couple of grades below expected and his history teacher laughed at parents' evening last week when he said he wanted to do the A level. The DS also has Asperger-type symptoms and mild dyslexia. We've rethought the A level options and have a plan B for BTEC Level 3 in - guess what - ICT. If he doesn't get a place on that, then we're in a pickle...

JeanSeberg · 22/01/2014 15:11

Could he do the level 1 or level 2 if he doesn't get the grades for the level 3 oenophilia?

Original poster
Echelonvicky3 · 22/01/2014 15:14

Waiting a phone call back from the school think I will definitely ask for specifics for revision and yes I will try the rewards, his girlfriend is a straight a student so I was hoping it would rub off on him!! Any good websites to help? Using aqa at the moment. Will let you all know how it goes when school ring me, thank you all so much for your advice.

OP posts:
JeanSeberg · 22/01/2014 15:43

Have a look at the thread on the link above.

BBC bitesize has lots of useful information, revision guides, tests and videos.

And you can print off past papers from the exam board websites.

chattymother · 23/01/2014 15:19

Echelonvicky3 your op could have been written by me!! My eldest is also approaching his GCSEs and although he did "ok" in his mocks with minimal revision I feel he is wasting the opportunity - most of the teachers at parents evening said he was a few marks of the next grade up so he really doesn't need to up his game that much but he just won't take revision seriously.

My husband and I have decided today that we are going to let him get on with it to a certain degree because we feel the arguments are stressing us all out! We can't make him do the work - we asked him to devote an hour out of the 7 he usually has between school and bedtime but he thinks the exams are ages away and that it's not necessary.

I know I haven't helped you (sorry) but I do find some comfort that it's not just us going through this right now!! xx

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