How do you handle a stroppy drama queen???

[cordyroy]

Hoping for some Mumsnet insight here as I'm at a bit of a loss. My dd 13 can be so dramatic and stroppy at the moment, the usual huffing about tidying room/washing up is all manageable but we've had a few situations now where she is really defiant - this is usually caused by me enforcing restrictions on ipad/computer. We had agreed that she was allowed to use it until 9pm but then had to bring it downstairs, which invariably doesn't happen and I have to go and ask her. She either refuses to hand over the ipad, or if I have picked it up she will refuse to go to bed and goes off on a major rant. I don't want this to result in lots of shouting and arguments that go around in circles but despite talking quietly and calmly to her I get nowhere. How do you deal with this???? I can't physically put her in bed like a toddler (despite her behaving like one!!!)

Some varying opinions on bedtimes, really interesting to hear other people's approach to this. Since last week's dramatics DD and I had a long (calm :) ) talk about things and no issues since. She often chooses to go up to her room usually not long after dinner - once her homework is done she plays music, reads and goes on her ipad but so far this week she has left it outside her door at 9 without any interference from me.

I can't imagine not enforcing some ground rules on gagets/bedtime as at just turned 13 I'm not sure she's able to always see the consequences of not getting enough sleep and the impact it will have at school. I know I will have to slowly back off and give her freedom to make more decisions as she gets older but, even though at times leaving her to it seems like an easier option I feel like I'd be letting her down in the long run.

Parenting is such a rollercoaster!

dsis found a very useful book: The Princess Bitchface Syndrome, think it was by Michael Carr-Gregg. She was really freaked, thinking he must've been lurking in their house and writing down dniece's behaviour!

Change the password on the internet connection each evening at nine pm, they can have the new password in the morning :)

Shout, argue and remind DD2 the taxi service doesn't function if it's not spoken to politely.

Same as happened since she was 6

My older DD(15) doesn't slam doors, she just quietly negotiates her own way. She's incredible sensible, we haven't yet had any reason to fall out.

I've always limited internet access after a certain time on school nights. We used to assign DD1's gadgets fixed IP addresses and set a schedule on the router of when they could access the internet.

It worked, but it didn't stop every argument - she's 17 next week and have been given responsibility for herself but whilst she was at school we had a bedtime rule on school nights. Holidays and weekends, she just had to not wake us up.

No slamming doors here either

Probably because she gets enough sleep