My nearly 13 year DS has been looking at naked girls on You Tube....

[josben]

Found it all on his history on his kindle... Am trying to be calm and realistic about things but am still struggling with it :(

Not sure what to do..? :(

[MadameDefarge]

My point is that I talked to him about his safety, not demonising it or making it exciting.

Yes he may well access it at others houses, and I am sure he would hide it from me.

But he has clear groundrules for here, and knows that my objections are about keeping him safe.

He is only allowed access to PC in the living room. no phone, no tablets, no laptop.

[KatieScarlett2833]

When DS was that age I needed to borrow his phone for something and his internet history appeared. He'd been googling "naked ladies"
After I stopped laughing it told him naked, yes, but unlikely to find many ladies.
Bless.

[InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream]

I do agree that limiting access to computers in their bedrooms is a good idea- mine don't have them in their rooms either. That way hopefully at least they won't become hopelessly addicted!

[profilewithoutaname]

First, why would you check your sons phone? Means you didn't trust him in the first place. If you don't trust him, then why give access to the internet?

Second at some point I think that any man will look at porn at some point in his life.
He didn't rape someone. He just looked at porn. It's not the end of the world.

The more fuss you make about it the bigger the 'problem' will become. And posting it online? What if he reads this? Or finds out you post this online. As far as I know, no one knows you on this site. But still, it's a private thing to do, watching porn. Have a bit of respect for your son. And don't post this on a website where everyone on the web can read about it.

Everyone has got sexual fantasies and your sons is 13, not a small child anymore and his sexual interests are growing as well and he just looked at porn. Nothing to worry about.

[MadameDefarge]

oh I can now use DFTFOD with I have been yearning to use!

trust a 13 year old? Of course I don't fucking trust him! That's part of the package!

No probs with him developing sexual interests, I would just rather he ddnt' gp to BSDM!

Time enough for him to develop his sexual tastes.

Pretty naked girls would be good for a start, not pretty naked girls pinned down to machines being fucked and whipped by bastards.

There ya go!

[profilewithoutaname]

Still if he likes it, what's wrong with it? Many people do have a fetish for something. Nothing wrong with that. Just as long as everyone involved in it enjoys it and no one is forced against their will.

If he's got a fetish for bsdm, don't you think you trying to get him to like the things you want him to like isn't going to make him more interested in it?
Tell someone: don't do that.... and what will happen???
Tell them: ok, if you like that kind of stuff.... I don't care....
either it takes the interest out of it. Or he feels safe to come to you for help when he needs it. Anyway if he got a fetish it's pretty hard to get that out of him.

[MadameDefarge]

ODFTFOD.

[profilewithoutaname]

ODFTFOD

No idea what it means, I guess you send it to me. When I googled for it I come by some computer stuff. That's probably not what you were trying to tell me.

[ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight]

I can't find it on the mn acronyms list either but I hope the ftfo bit means fuck the fuck off because I'm trying to work it out

[Toadinthehole]

I think it's like OFSTED, but for porn.

[morethanpotatoprints]

Both my sons were curious at this age but now at 19 and 22 they didn't have access to it online.
It was more magazines and internet when a bit older.
I think it is normal and telling them you will be able to tell if they do it again imo is not the way forward.
Educate them about porn, how its not like rl and give them the facts that there are men who become addicted to it and then become unsatisfied with a normal sex life.
At this age they are old enough to see the recent documentaries done on the subject. I'm not suggesting you watch with them btw.
You want them to stop because they have worked it out for themselves and they believe it isn't normal to watch too much.
Putting the fear of God in them, without education, so it becomes something naughty and secretive, they will want to do it all the more.
I'm pretty sure mine don't watch too much as they are older, wiser and have good relationships with women, which they wouldn't have if they were porn junkies.
Give them the space and credit them with the intelligence and future maturity to work it out for themselves.
Its only hindsight and having gone through it twice that makes me so blasé btw.