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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Took DS13 door off his bedroom earlier....

88 replies

louby44 · 15/09/2013 14:42

after repeatedly slamming it (on purpose)..... I have been threatening to do it all week.

He went crazy because his brother wouldn't let him play on his Playstation. Angry, insolent, defiant, really rude. So I took the door off.

He then packed a bag and went off on his bike! He's now at his dads (we're divorced) and the remainder of the day has been peaceful.

He has loads of homework and food tech to sort out but I'm dreading him coming home!

OP posts:
bubby64 · 15/09/2013 21:38

I have twin ds who are almost 13, and dts2 slammed his door so hard it broke and wouldn't shut!! He hates this, but we refuse to fix it until these temper tantrums stop! dts1 has taken what has happened to his brother on board, and, although we get episodes of teenage tantrum from him as well, they are not so extreme and don't involve slamming his bedroom door!Grin

Sparklingbrook · 15/09/2013 21:40

Less to do with respect IMO more to do with consequences.

KatyPutTheCuttleOn · 15/09/2013 21:43

MakeHay it's a respect thing for me as well but where do you go when you have tried everything else and they show no respect? Plus the punishment fits the crime - abuse the bedroom door and lose it.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 15/09/2013 21:44

I bet my parents wish they had thought of this when I was a teenager. I slammed my bedroom door so loud and so often I think I must have done structural damage. Blush

Am vigorously making notes. DD1 is 10 on Thursday and I think it might all be starting. Help.

watchingout · 15/09/2013 21:48

I agree that the punishment should fit the crime - so sounds fine to me. DS1 (16) tried to slam a few times but was thwarted by a thick carpet Grin of course I didn't snigger

LCHammer · 15/09/2013 22:00

This has never crossed my mind but DS doesn't slam doors (he did a few times but simple bollocking seems to have sorted that out). His bedroom is away from the other bedrooms so no door wouldn't bother him. Another one who sleeps with curtains up and no care in the world.

NoComet · 15/09/2013 23:59

Now a cure for leaving lights on, I'd pay money

survivingthechildren · 16/09/2013 04:28

Agree with you completely OP. And glad to see things have sorted themselves out for you in the end.

When DS1 was 13 and DS2 was 11, they had an argument over something or the other, and DS1 slammed his door and caught DS2's toes!! You better believe the door went.

He's not slammed again since Grin

prissyenglisharriviste · 16/09/2013 05:00

Ds1's psych told us to take his bedroom door off, Remus. Grin mind you, she also told us to remove his bedding, and eventually bits of bed and let him sleep on a rubber sheet on the floor if he didn't get a grip of his hygiene, and make his bed.

She also told me let him go to school in filthy clothes, or pyjamas, if he didn't get his clothes into the laundry hamper. And to remove him from the house to the doorstep at whatever time he needed to leave for school, whether or not he was dressed. And if he was late and missed the bus, let him walk.

We pick and choose the advice we use, but removing bedroom door is small fry, really.

Butwilliseeyouagain · 16/09/2013 05:17

I think this is a great idea and have it in the vault for the future. Astonished that someone thinks it's cruel and unusual punishment. I don't see why I should live with constant door-slamming, it makes the home unpleasant for the rest of the family.

Justfeckingdoit · 16/09/2013 05:22

starbunny take the lightbulb out :)

3birthdaybunnies · 16/09/2013 05:44

Takes note for dd1 (8) who already slams doors. She currently doesn't care about privacy much though. She slams every door in sight when in a strop.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 16/09/2013 06:24

I've done this with dd.

Sick of the door slamming 17 times during one argument.

She used to come out of her room, shout about how it's not fair then slam the door. Then open it 5 seconds later, say something else..and slam the door.

At one point it was 11 times in a row, then I told her if she did it again I would just take the door away.

So I did.

She got it back 2 days later. And has never slammed it again.

It's hardly a cruel punishment it it?

The same way if either of them think they are smart and try and get away with being on twitter whilst they are supposed to be doing homework, or taking their phones upstairs and being on FB or whatever until 4am, I change the wifi password.

Because I am the adult. And I make the rules. And if you are disrespectful, or rude, or go out of your way to do something I have told you not to, I will take action. Grin

NoComet · 16/09/2013 09:33

It's tempting unfortunately their stupid bus leaves so early removing the bulb would have her getting dressed in the dark, for part of the year.

halfthesize · 16/09/2013 09:49

I have to Remus I think its a great punishment and works, its not like we are making them undress in public or hitting them!! Perhaps if your DC had slammed doors you would feel differently.
At the end of the day its what ever works for you and I have to say on the back of DD punishment my younger 2 DC have never slammed doors either Grin

halfthesize · 16/09/2013 09:51

Katy fab idea re note in homework book Smile

jeee · 16/09/2013 09:53

But if there's no door, you have to see the hell-pit that your teenager inhabits. Which would be a nightmare.

Parsnipcake · 16/09/2013 09:59

I am not allowed to take doors off with foster children do I charge them £1 for each slam and donate it to 'shelter' - to help people who don't have a door, let alone one to slam.

MummyPigsFatTummy · 16/09/2013 10:14

DD(3) already slams doors occasionally when we have outraged her in some way, at the same time informing us very loudly that we are no longer her friends.

It is sort of funny now (although we don't let her know obv), but I absolutely cannot wait for the teenage years Hmm (and will keep the door-removal strategy at the back of my mind).

TantrumsAndBalloons · 16/09/2013 10:23

I do that with the note as well.
"Tantrums ds1 did not do his homework because he was playing football and couldn't be bothered to do it"

"Tantrums ds1 cannot do PE because even after he was reminded 3 times to sort out his kit, he did not. And he cannot be bothered to look for it this morning"

"Tantrums ds1 does not have his cookery ingredients because he failed to mention he needed them until 7:15am this morning and he does not want to go to tesco to buy them on the way to school"

Works a treat.

He doesn't even bother to ask me to write a note any more Grin

Original poster
louby44 · 16/09/2013 19:17

Mynewmoniker I have just laughed out loud at your post, Sooo funny!

He has been lovely so far this morning and is now making a cake that he made at school this morning.

BUT his brother is away this week on camp with school so it will be peaceful till Friday!

OP posts:
Mynewmoniker · 16/09/2013 20:40

Perhaps he read the thread, louby44 and knew what was coming eh? Wink

alistron1 · 16/09/2013 21:29

Dd1 once slammed her door so hard that the catch stuck and she was locked in her room. It still makes me snigger. She went from ranty to contrite with remarkable speed.

lljkk · 17/09/2013 08:49

lol

Heath27 · 23/09/2013 14:56

Friend of mines DH sawed off the legs of their DD15 wooden bed after repeatedly finding dirty clothes/plates/cups under it lol, she was warned plenty times Grin

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