Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

So I know she is lying, what now.

81 replies

Madamecastafiore · 03/07/2013 14:45

Found a towel in DDs laundry basket that is covered on urine.

It is yellow and stinks (is a white towel).

She said she found it wet like that in her bathroom yesterday!

It is not her or so she says,I told her it wasn't me. DH says it wasn't him so it must be DS. I told her he would be punished when he got on for going into her room and pissing on her belongings. She said not to do that as it was not him!!!

What now? Do we have someone who breaks in and pisses over things? Am I imagining it?

Dd has firm for lying about personal hygiene issues and for being a dirty little scrote!!

OP posts:
iwasyoungonce · 03/07/2013 22:14

Maybe she was trying something sexual with the towel - masturbation - and lost control and wet herself on it.

The point is, it is clearly something she doesn't want to explain to you - quite understandably if I am right - so why are you so insistent? Why do you have to know the precise details - give the girl some privacy.

There are many things I have done that I wouldn't want to explain to my mother.

This whole "why won't she fess up?" thing - isn't it obvious? She doesn't want to tell you. Just drop it and move on. There are worse things she could do. Stealing/ taking drugs/ bullying. You need to stop embarrassing her about this.

Original poster
Madamecastafiore · 03/07/2013 22:19

Thud!!!!

That was me hitting the floor.

She will have her own set if towels to masterbate on!!

My god.

Never crossed mind.

OP posts:
wordfactory · 03/07/2013 22:24

I think it's far more likely she ran out of loo roll and wiped with the towel!

iwasyoungonce · 03/07/2013 22:26

Wiping with the towel would not leave it soaked.

Itaintmebabeitaintmeyourlookin · 03/07/2013 22:35

Also she is her own person.. If you, for whatever reason got caught short and weed on a towel, would you tell anyone about it especially someone like a parent or teacher..of course not. She is not going to tell you and that is entirely normal. Just leave it. You've told her off you must give her some guidance and rules and privacy

TheSecondComing · 03/07/2013 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flow4 · 03/07/2013 23:09

MmeC, you are very clearly horrified. Whatever the reason, she will not want to explain it to her utterly disgusted mother. I don't blame her; I wouldn't either. Would you?

What are you so worried by? That she has suddenly developed a desire to wee on things, and will embarrass you by getting 'caught' doing it somewhere other than her own room? Honestly, there are a dozen possible explanations that are more likely than that, from laziness through accident through infection to experimentation... None of them are a big deal. She's 13. Teenagers are weird. I promise you she won't start weeing on grandma's Persian carpet... Honestly!

Original poster
Madamecastafiore · 04/07/2013 04:39

Thank you.

It is over. Have drawn a line and decided just to show her how to use washer and to warn her of the impending doom if she starts to leave food un her room or doesn't dispose of other bodily secretions appropriately.

It's the germs that freak me out!

OP posts:
flow4 · 04/07/2013 07:51

Good. Well done. :)

And as for germs, well, there's plenty of evidence that many of them are good for you... And wee is actually sterile, or at least contains very few bacteria - potentially fewer than tap water!

Moxiegirl · 04/07/2013 08:00

It's wee on a towel in the washing basket. What I find disgusting is dirty pants complete with sanitary pad attached festering in the corner Confused

Pantone363 · 04/07/2013 08:05

DS frequently wees in a cup or glass and leaves it in his bedroom, he doesn't like going doenstairs on his own in the morning and wakes up at 6.

But he's 5!

CoalDustWoman · 04/07/2013 08:08

Does she ever get any time in the house on her own? Where she can deal any mishaps without having to explain herself?

Branleuse · 04/07/2013 08:11

Tell her that youve no idea how the towel got soaked in wee, but seeing as it did, she can do her own washing from now on,

valiumredhead · 04/07/2013 08:39

You need to quit with the no lying/confess business or she will never tell you anything and it will be completely counterproductive.

It's wee on a towel,which is no big deal really, CLEARLY she doesn't want to tell you and perhaps, as by your own admission you have issues, this is precisely why she doesn't want to say anything as you will find it (her :() disgusting.

It was in the laundry basket so in the right place. Even a bit of wee would smell vile after a day or so in the basket, a wet flannel smells RANK and that's only water, so I doubt she actually stood over it and used it instead of the toilet.

The no lying thing is completely unrealistic and is ridiculous because we all lie whether out of kindness e.g. 'does my bum look big in this?' or ' oh fuck I've mopped up an accident, I'm so embarrassed I won't tell anyone'
No one tells the truth all the time and it's completely understandable that she didn't want to tell you.

Teenagers are pretty swanky, it IS like having a toddler around the house again as someone said upthread, all previous good behaviour goes out of the window and their brains are all over place. Honestly, if I had found a towel with wee on it in the laundry basket I would have bunged it in the machine and thought nothing more of it unless it kept happening.

Imagine if you had an accident OP and bunged your knickers into the machine to go through the next wash and your dh found them and made the fuss you are making, it would be embarrassing, wouldn't it?

Wrt personal hygiene - she needs to shower every day to get into a good routine, my ds is 12 and every day we have to tell him to go and have a shower,it just doesn't register yet that that is an essential part of the day - even though he needs 2 showers a day atm due to bad hay fever, it gets the pollen off him. It's not 'laziness' it's them not knowing how important personal hygiene is yet. So tell her to shower every single day without fail and you will be doing the sniff test Wink if she doesn't, tell her she can't have her phone/telly/whatever.

Sorry, really long post! Hope you feel calmer this morning about it all :)

fuzzpig · 04/07/2013 09:01

Sleepwalking? I remember a friend telling me about her younger sister who'd got up while still asleep/half asleep and used the loo... only it wasn't a loo, it was a chair

Anyway I agree to just move on but try and help her with her hygiene issues. What's her self esteem like? Because while it is normal to go through a lazy phase it could also be that she doesn't think enough of herself to bother IYSWIM? i.e. it's not worth it. (that's what I have always felt like)

BabsAndTheRu · 04/07/2013 09:03

iwasyoungonce That was exactly what I thought reading this thread. Actually think its pretty obvious. Poor girl, for god sake give her some privacy and stop quizzing her and yes yes to the washing machine idea. Find it strange that you would have been shocked at the reason for this.

WandaDoff · 04/07/2013 09:13

She's not going to tell you because she is embarrassed I expect.

If you keep pushing though, she'll end up not talking to you about anything at all.

Teenagers are gross & they do odd things sometimes but you have to pick your battles & this one isn't worth starting WW3 for. I have two teenage boys & they are the most disgusting creatures, lazy, smelly & full of attitude.

Well done for drawing a line under it & do teach her how to use the washing machine, she's going to be an adult in 5 yrs time & needs to learn how to do basic household tasks for herself.

Thingiebob · 04/07/2013 09:20

It's just wee on a towel. Not radioactive material.

Slipshodsibyl · 04/07/2013 09:42

Just a thought - while I think weird things like this are fairly normal at this age - and fair play, it was in the washing basket! You mention you are pregnant. My mother had a baby when I was 12 and, despite already having siblings I had some odd, unspoken anxieties about being displaced; about not wanting to the a boy....etc. they all disappeared when he arrived but I wonder if this might be in the mix as well?

scherazadey · 04/07/2013 09:46

Really can't see what you're so worried about? It's not like you found a dead body or a towel soaked in someone elses blood is it? It's a bit odd but teenagers can be a bit odd. Poor girl! Would you want to explain yourself if this had happened to you?

Robotindisguise · 04/07/2013 18:06

Oh good grief. Look - she went to the loo in the night half-asleep and - for whatever reason (seat was down, sleepwalking) missed the bowl. And cleaned it up with a towel. It doesn't deserve a fit of the vapours. She was obviously very embarrassed about it so perhaps not so much Big Dealism in future? Sheesh...

ll31 · 04/07/2013 21:19

IngThink you are over reacting hugely tbh. Wash the bloody towel and move on. I really felt sorry for ur dd when I saw ur comment about her not changing sanitary towel enough.... Think you need to step back a bit and let her develop some independence and privacy.fwiw my mother was v like u in terms of demanding to know everything so I told her nothing. Still don't. Also, it's not her job to help you deal with whatever work issues you have,that's your job.

DameEdnasBridesmaid · 04/07/2013 21:25

Why are people continuing with this? The OP has said 'it's over, she's drawn a line and moved on'.

ll31 · 04/07/2013 21:27

Clearly because we feel like it,it being a free world!!

valiumredhead · 04/07/2013 21:29

Are you the thread police?Wink