So I know she is lying, what now.

[Madamecastafiore]

Found a towel in DDs laundry basket that is covered on urine.

It is yellow and stinks (is a white towel).

She said she found it wet like that in her bathroom yesterday!

It is not her or so she says,I told her it wasn't me. DH says it wasn't him so it must be DS. I told her he would be punished when he got on for going into her room and pissing on her belongings. She said not to do that as it was not him!!!

What now? Do we have someone who breaks in and pisses over things? Am I imagining it?

Dd has firm for lying about personal hygiene issues and for being a dirty little scrote!!

Welcome to the teenage years! No matter how close you were before with your child they will pull away from you until you feel you have lost them, then they come back as if nothing happened.

I would suggest to make a plan of what good hygiene is - together with her - and agree consequences.

If she has done one bad act (weeing on the towel) I would let her get away with it but threaten with consequences if it ever should happen again.

Could it have been cat or dog wee?

Do you have pets?

I know of a young teenager who bought a puppy without permission, and sneaked it into her room. Is something like that possible?

We have a dog but dog does not go up the stairs and I cannot see any reason as to why she would not admit it if she cleaned up dog wee or dropped it in the loo or even had an accident?????

Is this it??

Bloody hell feel like such a failure!!

I just don't understand? Being lazy so not wanting to wash or change sanitary towel often enough or clean teeth but pissing anywhere but the toilet????

I used to do this sort of thing as a teenager - experimenting with sexuality I think and doing things that made me feel good 'down below'

However I did my own washing and if my teen did this, I would make her start doing her own washing tbh

Ps am normal person now honest... :)

This may sound daft but is she scared of the dark? I remember seriously considering options of things that I could wee on rather than cross the pitch dark landing to the loo - I would guess I was 11 at the time.

Not scared of dark. Has touch lamp next to bed and an ensuite so no need to go far. Think they both still have night light too.

Ok, experiment but admit what you have done. I don't want to know the details but admit that yes it was you, then I'll say if you do it again deal with it yourself and its finished.

It's the lying that sends me bonkers!! (Well and wee!!!)

Could it be a UTI?

A&E once told me to wee through a warm towel if I needed too, as it would soothe the burning a little. I didn't try it, so I don't know if it works?

Other than that, I think you just have to go through with your threat of removing the bathroom handle and making her use your toilet for now, and hope that she learns.

Things like forgetting to brush her teeth, resisting washing and not wanting to change her sanitary towel could merit being checked out at a doctors, though, if you haven't already. That would be an extraordinary level of laziness!

No. Dog will not climb stairs so not dog.

I would say the major issue is not washing the towel. If you have a washing machine she needs to learn to use it if she is old enough.

and maybe a side order of 'you are a really crap liar, let's stop wasting time eh?'

Towel was in bottom of laundry basket under school inform. Yum!!
Admits its got urine on it but not how it got on there.

I will teach her how to use the washing machine but I just want some bloody honesty.

dd (8) did this for a while but on the carpet not even a towel Found out she was scared of going to the toilet in the semi-dark.

If I had, for some reason, weed on a towel, I would see the world go up in smoke rather than admit it, especially to someone whose opinion of me I valued. It is just a mega embarassing thing. She's probably not lying, as much as mortified. As such, I'd leave it, just keep an eye on things to check she is ok health-wise etc.

From her lying and dirty behaviour I don't think she does value my opinion of her.

Have probably blown this all out of proportion but am having hard time at present and whilst DS is mega perceptive and really nice during the peaks in the shit I am having to deal with DD steps up on the shitty behaviour.

op, I think you need to cut her and you some slack.
13 is the worst age, they loose all empathy and sense of responsibility under the onslaught of hormones. Add to that the horrible mixture of wanting to be independent and also still being a child.

She wants privacy, the more you ask the more she will dig herself a hole. She doesn't want you to know everything about her any more, she wants to have secrets, even if they are actually boring! So while you can't understand why she won't tell you, actually for her that is the whole point, she doesn't want you to know - however trivial.

I think the way forward is a little talk, ignore towel and say what your expectations are for hygiene, wet items need to go in the washing machine, not the basket, remind her how to use the machine and make it clear she is expected to clear up after herself. Tell her she can always ask for help.

teenagers do weird things, and are then embarrassed about them. Turning a blind eye is a handy skill to develop

OP it's just a towel with some wee on it. Just put in the wash.

The are more important things to make a big deal out of.

Children/teens/people do all sorts of weirdos things, nobody got hurt, just leave her to it.

Thanks chaps.

Have just found this shocking and her attitude is beyond me.

I know she's lying, she knows she's lying but still can't fess up!

I only have experience of really disturbed kids or those with huge issues.

The normal teenager is beyond me.

I'll ignore it now but an gonna make sure she is at least clean!!

No wine or gin or fags as am pregnant!!!

Thanks everyone. Am mourning the loss of my pretty, shinny little girl.

I agree with steppemum, dont make a big thing about the towel. Give her some rules about laundry but that is all.

She is a teenager, in just 3 year's time she would be old enough to join the Army. Now is the time of breaking free. You are entitled to privacy from her and she is entitled to privacy from you. Keep pushing and she will hide more and more from you.

Well said The Second Coming! I have a sixteen year old son I believe just stands in the shower allowing water to pour over him, never being arsed to actually toss some soap in the mix. I only make a huge fuss if we are going somewhere special. His 14 yr old sister washes and styles his hair for him. Otherwise, I just walk away and keep walking..

Perhaps she ran out of toilet paper and used the towel?

Teenagers are such a volatile mix of hormones. One day my 14 yr old dd is happily wearing a tshirt with a cat on it and then she suddenly morphs into a vamp with red lips and high heels. It's a very confusing time for everyone. I just try to remember to shut up and listen to what they are trying to say.