it's started

[shewhoneverdusts]

dd1 turned 13 yesterday. Today she has gone swimming with a friend. When they were making plans I asked if her swimming costume fitted her OK, she told me it did. She has come down stairs in floods of tears because she thinks she is so huge now because it is too tight. the fact that we bought it two years ago when she was doing gymnastics 5 times a week, and the fact that she has had to retire from gym because of a damaged knee all were of no relevance to why she is too fat for it!! She was still red faced and blotchy when she left with friend. Do they just become hormonal and unreasonable overnight, or have they been planning it for the last 12 months so that when they are officially a teen they can change beyond all recognition? Aaaarrrgghh!!

DS1 is 14 and is an unholy nightmare at the moment. They DO just change overnight, it's true. It's hard to know how to handle it. I feel your pain

welcome to the club.It's like living with a lovely girl/young woman one minute and a raving lunatic the next.Never a dull moment.

Dd turned 13 on the 28th Shew, and her periods started on 1st June.

Bless her heart - she has just coped, doesn't want to talk about it, and is adamant that absolutely no-one else is to know - including her dad.

She can still be an angel one minute, and a devil the next though!

I am going through this now (dd 13 and just started her periods) Has anybody got any words of wisdom how to cope with a moody teenager (feel guilty writing moody!) All she wants to do is spend time with her friends and has recently been meeting up with boys as well. Does anybody else feel depressed that their dd is not their little girl anymore! I know she is just growing up and i've just got to get on with it but finding it hard to be relaxed and just want to lock her up for the next 5 years!!!

I am feeling it, even tho my DD1 isn't actually officially a teen yet as she is still 12. she has been moody and irrational for months now, and is making life unbearable at times:(.

and then there are days when she is a delight and is the most wonderful daughter I could wish for.:)

am guessing that this is it tho for the next few years, and years and yet more as all the others hit their teens

Oooh, am I allowed here tho, seeing as she isn't yet a teen??

Dd seems to have physically backed away from me this week. Normally she's happy for a cuddle at bedtime, and will give me a hug during the day, but at the moment she seems very 'self contained'.

I would like my little girl back

know how you feel fj. keep depressing myself by looking at old photos. It really is true how they change overnight. Hope the hormones settle down soon :(

the worst thing at the moment is telling her we have to do so and so at the weekend and then i know i'm in for some major moaning. Wants to know why she can't stay behind for the day with her friends. Trouble is i am a born worrier :(

There is the lovely side though too Mel. Like they look absolutely knockout in any old rags they put on, and I can't help but thinking 'gosh -she's mine?!!!'

Have to say, it's loads easier with 14 yr. old ds. although no doubt his strops will increase!

know what you mean about how they look. much prefer going clothes shopping for my dd as i know she will look great in anything :) Can't say the same about me :(

Glad to hear that it's easier with boys. My ds is nearly 10 and i was wondering how that was going to be!

I Know what you mean Mell2, I hardly ever seem to see her at the weekends now!! She goes shopping with friends, swimming with friends, out to play mini golf with her boyfriend (I don't think they have even held hands yet). In fact i am happier when she is with him than with her friends and I never thought I would say that!! She goes to a girls school and I have to say it is the bitchiest environment you could ever imagine, so I am not totally surprised when she lets off steam at home. Hasn't started periods yet, so probably 'brewing' for that at the moment. Heaven help me!!

DD was 11 last week and has been mega hormonal for 2 yrs!!!! Stared periods at 10 yrs and acts like she is 14+ I yearn for "my girl" back, even tho she is long gone. I get the looks, the attitude, doesnt want to be with us etc. and usually grumpy 90% of time. Looks at me as though I come from outer space. Its tough being parent of a girl, I pray it gets better. All this AND she was 3 months prem!

It's true Mel - I spend as much on clothes, but very few of them are for me! The only good thing is that at that age, they look good in anything, so it doesn't need to be expensive - I remember my mum saying that to me

My 12 yr old dd has been hormonal & awful on occasasions for the last 6 to 12 months. I expect to carry on & probably get worse before it's better for another 2 to 3 years. When she is fine she is a lovely girl & brilliant to be with, but other times I find it very difficult to cope with. I was talking to my mum the other day & saying I don't remember being like that & she said I wasn't really, so can't help as has no experience lol!

yes this all sounds bad, but please tell me about the weekend mornings - when do they get out of bed - 7.30, 8, don't tell me - 9? Do you get a lie in?!!?

It's nice to come on here and realise that other people are going through it as well.

My mum also said she didn't have any trouble with me! Mind you, 30 years when i was a teenager the world was a different place!
I really think it is a lot harder now for parents - poor us :(

MadameP - not in my case, as I also have a 3 year old !

Mell2, you are so right about it being different now. I was just trying to explain that song that is out at the moment to my youngest. Its the 'I wish I was a punk rocker' song and it makes me want to cry, coz it takes me back to better times!! At least we had things to do that didn't cost a fortune.

omg shew that takes me back! When i was about 17 i used to go to see groups playing every weekend. My parents never had to worry about me (and i never had a mobile to keep in touch )

I must be one of the lucky few. dd is 14 and is FAB! She gets moody and stomps off at times and shouts at her brothers (and smacks them one sometimes too)! On the whole she is really helpful round the house although her room is usually an almighty tip. Can't complain about her at all really.

ds1 is 12 and a half. Just started getting even more stroppy than he usually is. MInd you, he has been oppositional ever since the day he was born so I don't expect anything else with him! But, give him his due, he helps round the house too even though he might pout at the same time.

God knows, the other 3 might make up for whatever those 2 don't give me! Time will tell.

You have my sympathy nomdeplume!

shewhoneverdusts, I find that wish I was a punk rocker song a bit confusing - I thought punk was all about being an anarchist and destroying the establishment. I was even afraid of them on TOTP (I think I was about 5 when the sex pistols were at their height). Can't remember any of them wearing flowers in their hair.

Good morning all
Madam P, I think she is referring to hippies aswell as punks, she talks about 1977 and 1969 "when revolution was in the air"!!
Anyway I also have a 2nd dd who is coming up for 11yo and I feel I will need to scream on here about her far more than dd1! She is defintely going to be more 'difficult' always has been. Maybe it's a prem thing Tewin, mine was 10 wks early and screamed from the very first moment!!

MP
My kids were early risers, and it's still 7/7.30 at the weekends - they're 13 and 14!!!

Mine as well, the light mornings don't help.

I make a pot of coffee and retreat to the top of the garden