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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DS(14) and age 18 games are we doing the right thing?

58 replies

WorrySighWorrySigh · 31/03/2013 18:28

DS(14) is not allowed PEGI 18 games. No debate, no discussion. He is allowed age 16 games.

Are we wrong? DS says his friends tease him for not having age 18 games.

OP posts:
TheHumancatapult · 31/03/2013 19:37

worry

ok talked to Ds1 and ds2

couple things they said how far 14 ? .how mature is he in him self

as this could also affect and as it is often played on-line he will be interacting with various ages and obviously their behaviour and language

oh and they said you can actually disable graphic content as well and said once get into worse of the scenes are not as bad as the early ones

TheHumancatapult · 31/03/2013 19:40

Ah now GTA both of them flat say no way full stop .As in this you have option to commit rapes and just knife random people not even part of a misson iykwim that are not part of the game ( ok COD kills people but its not random

flatmum · 31/03/2013 19:40

Come on, do you really believe any 8y old's parent lets them play Assasins Creed?

I doubt it - they may say they do but I really doubt that they do. My 8y old tells me he is the only child in his class without Sky Sports but I doubt that is true too.

TheHumancatapult · 31/03/2013 19:41

DS2 actually dislikes the game for what you can do

MurderOfGoths · 31/03/2013 19:43

Stick with it, he'll cope just fine without 18 rated games until he is older. It's not going to kill him.

lljkk · 31/03/2013 19:44

Get him a chew toy, maybe? Grin

I am thinking of not letting DS (13 now) get age 15+ games when he is 15. He is furious but any thing he plays the others get exposed to. I can't restrict what he buys or does at 18.

BackforGood · 31/03/2013 19:50

Sadly flatmum, there are parents who do Sad

Worry - My ds is 16 and does occasionally now play some 18s (most of his friends 17 now, ds is a Summer Birthday), but now I'm a bit more prepared to turn a blind eye, he actually prefers Fifa, and hardly ever goes on the x-box, unlike when he was 14, when he was obsessed, and had to have us ration his time on it. So no, of course YANBU . Yes you are doing the right thing. No, you are not wrong Grin tricky set of questions there!

Chandon · 31/03/2013 19:51

If he is acting like a sulky puppy, and his best argument is " but ALL my friends have it!", clearly he is not that mature for his age.

So it is a no then!

If he were able to explain to you how virtual violence does not in any way impact the adolescent's brain, for example, he would be a lot closer in maturity to be able to deal with this nasty violent shite.

HTH Grin

Original poster
WorrySighWorrySigh · 31/03/2013 19:55

That is interesting what you say about COD, many thanks to your DSs and you TheHumancatapult. I will discuss COD a bit more with DH and perhaps discuss further with DD's BF. I need to get some more info on disabling graphic content. The problem is that I can see this as a slippery slope.

OP posts:
CandyCrushed · 31/03/2013 19:58

In Grand Theft Auto (not sure which one) you can get extra points for pissing on dead policemen. I have no idea why parents think that is an ok thing to have in the house. Even if your DC's are 18. My DC's never play it.

COD is not so bad.

AfricanExport · 31/03/2013 20:02

Flatmum...well no, but I asked the mum and the kid has played with his father, mum was not happy!

SminkoPinko · 31/03/2013 20:23

lol@ making him watch countryfile.

Our 14 year olds play call of duty. partner says it's not as gratuitous and wrong as many games.

TheHumancatapult · 31/03/2013 20:47

Candy yup my older two do not like GTA Say so much is wrong with it and that should be banned

and yes ds2 age 16 could explain that its just a game and that its virtual etc about cod so i was happy let him

Original poster
WorrySighWorrySigh · 31/03/2013 20:47

Thanks Sminko. I think I will let DS stew a bit. He gets himself in a state about this or that obsession. In many ways he is quite sensible but he is also quite sensitive as well (as are many 14 year olds IMO).

OP posts:
Ahojj · 31/03/2013 21:28

I will just point out, from having played GTA, that there is a lot of misinformation here. You cannot commit rape. You cannot piss on a policeman.

There is, however, a lot of violence and reference to drugs. You can assault anyone on the street, and you can regain health by sleeping with prostitutes.

It is definitely an 18 and for good reason. The Call of Duty games, not so much. They are violent and have bad language, but you're pretending to be a soldier and shooting others. They're certainly "soft" 18s, compared to GTA. You see the same levels of violence Call of Duty as you do in 15 certificate war films.

I hope this helps and I'm happy to provide any other information. I'm a 28 year old who grew up playing games of various ages and ratings, so can see it from the gamer AND the parent side.

basildonbond · 31/03/2013 22:05

Flatmum - there are definitely parents who let 8 year olds play 18 rated games ... I used to go into the dc's primary to hear children read - I had the same few children for about four years so go to know them pretty well and they would tell me lots of things about their home life - two of them were playing 18 rated games from Y3 onwards :(

TheWave · 31/03/2013 22:08

Ahojj and others thanks for info re GTA specifically. My DS says (and he argues quite sensibly about this) that he can bypass those bits and concentrate on the driving which he likes, is that possible?

Original poster
WorrySighWorrySigh · 31/03/2013 22:14

Ahojj, thank you for that.

To give me some context, how would you compare the violence in CoD to, say, Casino Royale? The language doesnt bother me too much BTW.

OP posts:
Ahojj · 31/03/2013 22:17

Yes, he could definitely bypass the prostitute stuff. The other stuff is all mission driven, so you are given a mission by other people in order to progress through the game/open up the city etc (the game starts you off on a small island, and unlocks other areas via unblocking the road bridges as you beat various missions), and you encounter, for instance, strip clubs, drug deals etc.

You COULD skip the missions and just drive around for hours on end, but I think that would be a waste of money to be honest (and I think he's fibbing with his intentions!)

Original poster
WorrySighWorrySigh · 31/03/2013 22:17

Sorry, that was the film Casino Royale. I will be honest that I dont actually watch many films!

OP posts:
Ahojj · 31/03/2013 22:21

@Worry - probably on the same level as Casino Royale. I dunno, any film where people get shot to be honest. There's no gutting or body parts, but there is blood that will spray like someone being shot in a film (you know, the explosive squibs that they build into people's costumes). There are not, though, any big pools of blood, closeups of gore or anything gratuitous like that. Language is assorted Fs but nothing worse.

Original poster
WorrySighWorrySigh · 31/03/2013 22:25

Thank you Ahojj

OP posts:
Ahojj · 31/03/2013 22:27

No problem - I do love my games but appreciate parents need to be better informed as to quite what their children are up to on the consoles, so would like to help dispel any myths and help inform in an unbiased manner where possible!

If anyone else has questions do feel free to get in touch.

TheCatInTheHairnet · 01/04/2013 00:06

I let my DS have COD from 13/14. All his friends had it (and they really did as I checked with their Mums) so it seemed pointless to say no. I have quite strict rules about how much screen time they get, none before homework, etc.

He's now 16 and rarely ays games now. However, the rules will be completely different for DS2 as he is a different kid.

CandyCrushed · 01/04/2013 01:51

I am pretty sure different versions of Call Of Duty have different age ratings. Turning off the extreme violence/gore etc is easy to do if you won't but it is still an intense game with lots and lots of first person violence.
The gameplay is very intense and mature and may be 'too much' for younger teens. It is not just the violence and language that is not suitable.