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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

11 year old dsd having a key?

33 replies

SweetSeraphim · 20/09/2012 22:01

DP's daughter has just started senior school. The She's asked if she can have a key to our house so that she can get the bus here after school some days.

I personally think she's a little bit too young.... My dd has a key but she's almost 15.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:

overthehill · 20/09/2012 22:46

My ds has had a key since he was in primary school and I personally think it would be fine for your dsd to have one, provided that you're happy with her being in the house on her own.

ProudNeathGirl · 20/09/2012 22:58

Agree with overthehill. What's the problem?

missnevermind · 20/09/2012 23:01

Mine have all had their own keys before starting senior school.

A friend does not let her DC have house keys at all. Her eldest is 17.

MIL did not let DH have a key at all until he started work and then he was allowed a back door key.

I and my sister had keys at 7.

TheFallenMadonna · 20/09/2012 23:06

My DS is in year 7 and lets himself in every day.

5madthings · 20/09/2012 23:07

Yep since high school ds1 has had a key ir i leave one in a safe place so he can let himself in.

QueefLatina · 20/09/2012 23:08

How old was your DD when she got a key?

Beamur · 20/09/2012 23:09

If she didn't have a key what would she do? Sit outside and wait for someone to come home?
Our older kids were given keys when they started senior school. DSS lost his a lot....

usualsuspect3 · 20/09/2012 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

SweetSeraphim · 21/09/2012 07:40

I thought she might be a bit too young! I can't remember when dd had a key, whether it was the same age or not.

I'm happy with her being here on her own, she's quite grown up, and then some of the days, dd will be here too, so it's all good.

Of course I wouldn't make her sit outside! Just don't want her to be too responsible too young, that's all.

I don't get some of the over aggressive replies over a simple question

Thanks.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 21/09/2012 07:41

both of mine had keys from yr 6

ratbagcatbag · 21/09/2012 07:44

My DSS has a key for ours and had it yr7. :) he's been fine with it and if anything has given him a bit more responsibility.

CouthyMowWearingOrange · 21/09/2012 07:47

To put it into perspective, my DD has had a key since the May of Y6, she was 11yo, and my DS1 now has just got a key, he has just started Y6 and is 10y5mo.

My door is a bit 'odd' to open, and I like them to be well practised before they go to Secondary, as they will be home before me as I have younger DC's and the Secondary is closer to my house than the primary and preschool.

Original poster

SweetSeraphim · 21/09/2012 07:47

Coolio. Will get her one cut then. And wait for her to lose it 678 times like dd did

OP posts:

Groovee · 21/09/2012 07:48

My dd has a key as she gets home when I'm working just before me as I have to collect ds from the childminder. It was helpful yesterday as I had to be at work early so she didn't need to leave so early. She in first year at high school. Ds will get one when he goes in 2 years.

Chopstheduck · 21/09/2012 07:48

mine doesn't have one because firstly I don't want her to be seen letting herself in the house alone, and secondly she would lose it before the end of the week. So yes, she does have to sit outside!

I'm quite surprised at the tone of the replies too.

MrsMiniversCharlady · 21/09/2012 07:54

We had a key safe put on our outside wall - never have to worry about him forgetting his key (and it's saved me a few time too!)

Fizzylemonade · 21/09/2012 07:55

Firstly if you are worried about her losing the key, get thee to a Timpsons or the likes and get a key chain. We had one for Ds1 so he could attach a wallet to the inside of his rucksack for school trips.

It just means that the key is attached to her bag so can't be dropped or fall out.

Secondly, and I still do this, when she lets herself in she shouts, Hi, it's only me, or I'm back. I am a SAHM and my house is a bit secluded, so whenever I am expecting a delivery I tend to shout "I'll get it" making out that I am not alone in the house.

I personally was a latch key kid at 8

lljkk · 21/09/2012 08:03

We have a key outside in safe place, works well for all.

missnevermind · 21/09/2012 09:17

Fizzylemonade if I am the last to leave I stand on the doorstep and shout Goodbye back into the house

CouthyMowWearingOrange · 21/09/2012 12:13

Ugh to the key losing. DD has lost hers about twenty bazillion times. DS1 never.

Currently DD is borrowing DS1's until I can find wtf she has done with hers. Thank god DS1 is kind enough to lend it to her!

CouthyMowWearingOrange · 21/09/2012 12:15

You don't want her to be seen letting herself into the house? Why?

Trills · 21/09/2012 12:18

I think secondary school is a perfectly reasonable time to start to have a key - it's when they start to go places by themselves more.

Original poster

SweetSeraphim · 21/09/2012 12:23

Yes, I agree. It seems so long ago since dd was that age, and I find it a bit more difficult because I don't want to overstep with these kinds of decisions for dsd.

OP posts:

Beamur · 21/09/2012 12:44

Wasn't meant to be aggressive - sorry if it came across like that - more pondering if she didn't have a key what would happen instead. My neighbours older boy often gets home ahead of his Mum who is picking up younger kids and if he's lost/forgotten his key will either wait outside, or if I'm home, ask if I can let him in - he knows I have a key to their house.

hugoagogo · 21/09/2012 13:42

dd 10 has had a key for about a year. It's a yale and without it I would have to open the front door for her tenty million times a day in the school holidays.

I think people might have thought the OP was treating her step daughter differently and therefore got a bit arsey because of that aspect.

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