13yr old DD wants to read Fifty Shades as 'all of my mates are'...really???

[RenskeMc]

Oh God....last year she was still so cute, so girly, so innocent and now suddenly she cant wait to grow up as quickly as possible. She has just come home and said she wants to read 50 shades of grey as all her mates are. Okay, I admit, I have read it but she is only 13, only has kissed a boy (thank God) and now she wants to read hardcore sex? What do I do/say? I have said that i think the book is inappropriate as it discusses some very hardcore elements of sex and male aggression. I said if she really wants to read softporn, I ll get her some, more appropriate! But in the end they do what they want, dont they?? Anyone else recognises this?

Poor old goldie gets shoved up some woman's foof and sucked out by a sexual playboy.

That is a picture I could have lived without

Themumsnot....not sure . Would she enjoy it?

Getorf...great description. My boyfriend at the time of Lace suggested it wouldn't be the same with a brown trout.

I've talked about it with my 16 year old- don't know whether she's read it, but we talked about the wqy it depicts women, and men, and sex and how unrealistic and exploitative it is, and how it normalises by extreme representation the idea that women are responsible for men's feelings and behaviour. And how it ppetuates the myth that men can't control themselves.

We know how to have fun Chez Seeker!

Yes, I think she would MrsRobert - it's by a guy called John Green - my 15 year old loved it and so did I.

haha, seeker....all fun and games (but not THOSE kind of games ;))

I will seek it out.
Thanks.

At the very start of the hype, someone mentioned 50 Shades in DS1's A level English class. The teacher said she hadn't heard of it, so DS1 said it had been branded as "mummy porn!".
The teacher said "what porn from Ancient Eygpitan times?".

I was really disappointed by Fifty Shades of Grey - I thought I was going to read hard core porn and it was really soppy romance. I wouldn't have a problem with a 13 year old reading it.

Blimey, I remember my mother being HORRIFIED that aged 15, I asked my older sister to lend me 'Lady Chatterly's Lover' when she had finished reading it.

My mother made it clear that she was NOT to lend it to me, and I seem to think she got rid of it after my sister had read it!

Haven't read 50 shades yet - dh bought me a copy at Tesco last week !!

From what I've heard tho' I don't think I would consider it suitable for a 13 Y.O.

Thank god DS (now just 13) is into graphic novels about Batman etc.

My (just-deceased ) head of English at secondary told me she'd read Lady Chatterley's Lover aged 11.

tell her she can read it if she is willing to do a 2000 word book report on it.

And the book report title must be: Patriarchy, Faux-minism and the Stockholm Syndrome...

The local independent bookstore (feminist run) refuses to stock it and has large signs explaining why.

Love faux-minism! Yours? If so, is it copyrighted?

No way Jose.....DW read a lot of 'bodice rippers' as an older teen (16-18) but she's admitted herself that they skewed her view of relationships so just don't let your daughter go there.....

The local independent bookstore (feminist run) refuses to stock it and has large signs explaining why.

Where do you live? I want to move there!

I love faux-minism too!

I had a conversation with Ex about the book as he was thinking of buying it for his Mum.

I expressed my opinion, to be fair as I haven't so much as opened the cover, that opinion is based on MN critiques, that it was a pile of and not appropriate or in any way literature.

A few days later he bought it for DS (14) So DS read most of it at his Dad's. I have bent DS's ear about my opinion, and the moral aspects.
I was not happy.
I don't think it provides positive role models for boys either.

I lent dsd my copy to spoil the fun of her reading it in secret
It worked as she got bored after a chapter and gave it back. I couldn't finish the first one, load of shite!

I had free access to all kinds of explicit books about sex when I was growing up (my mother worked in publishing and was a radical feminist). I remember Nancy Fridays book about women's fantasies in particular. The books fascinated - and completely traumatised - me, and mis-shaped my ideas about sex for many years. Talk to your daughter about the effect such books can have on her - you're not being prudish, just protective.

My dd mentioned it to me. We had a little chat about it as sadly I did read the first pile of shite which is hours of my life I won't ever get back.
Some of her friends read it, but they only read it for the (badly written) sex scenes. I tried to explain to her what the book was actually about and she said it sounded ridiculous and if she wanted to read porn she would find something better than that.

Hmmm.....so do you want to read porn then DD?

No mum, I haven't got time to read anyway, I've got an exam in january.

Ok then. Possibly my little talk did not have the desired effect and she is now scouring the Internet for "good" soft porn books.

One day I'll learn to shut up.

Completley off subject. I am amazed at the amount of DHs buying this book for their DWs. Amazed. Do they normally buy their wives books?

It's been so widely talked about, could she only be interested in reading it because she's heard so many people on about it from parents, tv, radio? I mean it's not just the book anymore, they're going on about a film for it, an album, mugs, underwear, t-shirts. It's hard for anyone of any age not hear of it with all the coverage it's had. Unfortunately, I flicked through it to see what all the fuss was about and I had to put it down. I found it very repetitive.

Obviously, don't buy her the book. But you can't stop her reading it if her pals have got copies.

I was a ludicrously well read teenager (of fiction, anyway) and devoured all the clever stuff for fun. But I also ripped through plenty of trash, and there was plenty of that in the 80s.

Jilly Cooper is something of a cult on MN, and there's regular swooning over Rupert Campbell-Black. If memory serves, he was a vile, sexually incontinent, fox hunting Tory. But at the end of the day, it is fiction.

I haven't read 30 Shades, but I'm assuming its utter dross. By all means, steer your DDs in the direction of books you like. But I think if they want to read it they will.

Ideally, you'd want your DD to read some of it, declare it to be a pile of pish, and go back to something decent.

I don't mind my dd reading explicit stuff in secret. That's what you're supposed to do.

What I find soul destroying is the fact that these books only show one sort of sexual relationship and a pretty disfunctional one at that. And, as I said, reinforces the message that women are the "emotion-keepers" in any relationship. It's an overwhwlmingly persistent message anyway- it being the main theme of the most widely bought book ever makes me want to shoot myself!

Morris, yes. Jackie Collins and Harold Robbins circulated like wildfire at my Catholic boarding school in the 80s. I assume the nuns had no idea of their content (apart from the new 24-year-old novice nun who befriended me and my cronies and to whom we delightedly read some extracts!!!).

OP I agree with others who say that if your daughter can, she will read it somehow. It's up to you to counterbalance the message of the book.