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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DS 19 doesn't get why he needs a job

59 replies

GerardWay · 01/07/2012 21:46

DS, 19yrs old, has always been lazy. He has a very high IQ but no decent qualifications as he is so lazy. He went for an interview today at Burger King and said it only lasted 2 minutes, the interviewer didn't know what they were doing and DS is sure he won't get the job as he is too intelligent for the job Hmm. Anyway when he came home we discussed the fact that if he goes on JSA (DS's idea not ours) he will have to hand over 95% of it to pay for his keep. He stormed off to his room whilst shouting at us.

I really don't know what to do with him. My DH and myself have our own business and DS has always seen his Dad working hard. DS seems to thinks that he can soon get £55 'ish a week from the government to spend on himself. Hmm We have a DD (14) and she is desperate to work.

OP posts:
Original poster
GerardWay · 14/07/2012 19:05

Well he got the job. Grin It's in a large well known resturant/pub. 40 hours plus a week and he has a 9 hour shift tomorrow. I think he's still in shock. Wink

OP posts:
missmiss · 14/07/2012 19:39

Well done to you and your DS! I hope he sticks it out :)

Original poster
GerardWay · 16/07/2012 21:47

DS's gf was here today. She is delighted that he has a job but 'pointed out to him' that she would earn far more than him in the future as she will have been to Uni. I very politely pointed out that the chances were that by the time she left Uni DS would be a manager hopeful I know as he has the brains and personality and looks.

It really annoys me this 'if you don't go to Uni' you're crap.

OP posts:
LemonBreeland · 16/07/2012 22:11

Just read the whole thread. I hope your ds sticks at it. At least long enough to see his first pay come in and them he may want to stick at it.

I also hate the whole must go to uni crap. I t was pushed on me and my friends when we were at school and was a waste of time for half of us.

velomum · 16/07/2012 23:28

i can so relate to this as my DS is 17 and has a complete sense of entitlement and is incredibly lazy so will only do anything if he is made to - including washing, brushing teeth etc. However, i think a lot of his attitude is based on lack of confidence as has mild learning difficulites (maybe making excuses?) and therefore avoids work as thinks he will be a failure. Sadly his first Saturday job (got after 2 years of trying) has ended after 3 months due to recession. I can see him going on JSA as soon as he finishes college if he can't get a job and then sitting on sofa all day doing nothing as will think it fruitless to apply endlessly for jobs. Hope i'm wrong...

Original poster
GerardWay · 17/07/2012 08:12

velomum The only reason he has this job is that I applied for it for him. I filled in the application form and dragged him down there and made sure he turned up for the interviews.

Now that he has a job I know that he will stick with it. He finished at 11.30pm last night and starts again 9am this morning. The work isn't great but he likes the people that he's working with (which is a major plus in my mind) and the promotion prospects are excellent.

I must admit that I have felt like a mad cheerleader jumping up and down about how fantastic it would be to have a job and earn money to spend on xyz to try and make him enthusiastic about getting a job. It didn't work Hmm. But he is now working Grin.

OP posts:
funnyperson · 17/07/2012 23:46

My DS , age 20, needs a job to help him pay his way through uni. He hasnt got one. He isnt looking for one. He sleeps till 13.00 then has breakfast. He lives alone in his student house (500 pcm) as all the housemates except him have gone home for the 3 month summer break. He is either very lazy or depressed or both. He says he isnt on drugs. I am irritated beyond belief. In fact after a month and a half of him being in bed it has got to the point where I am so angry I can hardly speak to him even when he does answer his phone. He claims he is doing some holiday reading. I am absolutely sure this is cobblers. To make matters worse both sets of grandparents send him money.
This probably doesn't help you at all but I sympathise and am watching the outcome with interest hoping to get tips.

flow4 · 18/07/2012 05:57

Gerard, sorry, you asked me a question aaaaaages ago Blush. (It's been a bad week)...

My son did a level 1 nvq in bricklaying - a 1 year course he could've done in 6 weeks. This time last year, he wanted to be a self-employed builder. He picked the course despite it being far too easy for him, let his attendance drop to about 60%, told me he didn't need to actually go to pass, dossed about a lot, and still got a merit. Hmm

In the past couple of months, he has 'considered' A levels, a BTEC media course, being a lawyer (that was after being arrested Hmm), and (yesterday) working 'anywhere' to get money, but going to college to do 'something' til he finds a job.

He doesn't really have a clue what he wants to be or do. I don't think he's alone!

flow4 · 18/07/2012 06:00

Gerard, sorry, you asked me a question aaaaaages ago Blush. (It's been a bad week)...

My son did a level 1 nvq in bricklaying - a 1 year course he could've done in 6 weeks. This time last year, he wanted to be a self-employed builder. He picked the course despite it being far too easy for him, let his attendance drop to about 60%, told me he didn't need to actually go to pass, dossed about a lot, and still got a merit. Hmm

In the past couple of months, he has 'considered' A levels, a BTEC media course, being a lawyer (that was after being arrested Hmm), and (yesterday) working 'anywhere' to get money, but going to college to do 'something' til he finds a job.

He doesn't really have a clue what he wants to be or do. I don't think he's alone!

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