Enjoying the teenage phase

[andisa]

Hi,
I have a 12 yr old and 15 yr old and am really enjoying their emerging personalities. Yes, they do get very cross over trifles at times but the almost adult conversations at other times are just so interesting. I realise there is so much more fun to come in raising children! Anyone else really enjoy the teen phase?

Not there yet, I have a 7 year old and a toddler. It's refreshing to hear someone say something positive about raising teenagers as I just hear negative things all the time.

I was saying to someone the other day that as much as I find my toddler adorably cute I am looking forward to being able to go to the loo on my own and have a little more independence myself. Cue lots of people telling me that I don't know how easy I have it because the teenage years are harder than the rest of it put together...

I have got 2 years to go before I am where you are andisa. Struggling a bit with 10 and nearly 13 at the moment. Lovely to hear things may improve.

Yup, it is why I rarely post about it. There are threads with some of us going on about how lovely having teenagers is, how exciting and how wonderful.
They tend to get buried in the mound of stressed out and worried threads, but they are there if you truffle around for them.
Mine are 17 and 21.

I was delighted to be told by my 17 yr old ds yesterday that as soon as he passes his driving test he'll be able to pick DH and I up from the pub .

Glad you started this thread Andisa. I too am really enjoying the teenage phase (DS is 16, DD is 14), I keep waiting for the horror to start but so far they're just really pleasant young people who spend far too much time on computer screens. (Mind you I can talk - spend far too much time on my iPad).
I have a theory that you have a short window between 9 yrs and 11 to get them into good civilised habits - always empty dishwasher, set and clear table, put dirty clothes in basket, basic cooking etc). After that it's harder to instruct them but if they already do stuff without over thinking it reduces the amount of nagging. I've recently had several operations for breast cancer culminating in a week in hospital and now cannot lift anything heavy for several weeks. Kids have been marvellous - even doing and sorting laundry (with hilarious results). They're now away on a family holiday without us and I really miss them - sending lots of wistful imessages and draw somethings.

Nice thread!

I'm just seeing my 16.5 year old emerge into a proper little adult. She's never been a bad kid, but like OP says, she's had her moments.

I have been very lucky compared to others I read about on here. She's never sworn at me, or thrown things or hit me or left home. To my knowledge she's never been drunk either! Although, thinking back to when I said I was staying at my best friends house and then went to an all night party, I wouldn't blame her!

Thank you for your posts. Best wishes to cappaaddict.

What I most enjoy:

DS talks knowledably about items on the news and asks political questions as he is developing his own ideas. Also gives me big hugs and on Mother's day such nice words in the card - makes me feel appreciated. Also still wants his own way and coming off computer time can be hairy!

DD likes to go for a girly shop and likes my opinion, wants to talk about friends and teachers and evaluates them with me. Also she is really caring and teacher has just asked for her support with a lonely pupil who is going to France with them all. She's super intelligent and it makes me proud.

Both seem despite the temperemental moments quite comfortable in their skin - good self -esteems are emerging.

What are the best bits for you?

I just adore my 16 year old! She is so fervent about things and excited about the world. I love sometimes sitting up late with her letting her educate me!

Oooh yes. I know what you mean.
Shopping, discussions, shared hobby. My DD is becoming an expert in a field that I enjoy too. It's great to get her opinion.
DS and sons boisterousness.
Shared sense of humour (sometimes!)

Oh, I agree, this is the best phase of parenting for me - so far! {I have a ds of 15, a dd who is 13, and a dd who is 10}.
I love the conversations,
I love seeing them do things that they have organised / been involved in the planning for.
I love the lie-ins!
I love the fact we can go off - just me and one of them - and do something (even something as mundane as shopping for them) and leave the others behind.
I love the fact that ds asked me this week if we could go and see something at the theatre together
Ilove to see them with their friends and hear what lovely people they are most of the time.
I love to see their achievements in areas of life they've chosen to stick at things and work hard and develop their talents.

Don't get me wrong, they drive me barmy at times, especially ds, but I do still like this stage of parenting the best.

Same here.

Yes, possibly the best phase. I also enjoyed 7/10 when we discovered museums.

I forgot the heavenly lie-ins, if only toddler parents knew how they return! My darling babes woke me regularly for years.

Too true - pursuing their talents - my son is scientific and wants to do engineering - I'm literary/artistic so just so interesting for me to see a different talent nurtured. He adores Maths - was my struggle, just fascinates me watching them develop.

My daughter and fashion! I remember becoming interested and developing a style, so girly, and I love it.

I'm glimpsing the adults they will become shine through (does this make sense? sort of!)

Yep. My DS is 14 - he is a great teen.

We have a bit of sulking now and again, but on the whole he is lovely.

My favourite part at the moment - is that me and DH (DS stepfather) can just go out and leave him on his own. He is quite happy to get his own supper and go to bed. Love it! He came shopping with me this morning and was a goodhelp and good company.

DSS are 15 and 12. The older one is very adult in his ways too. Not brilliant at housey stuff, but can make us all a cuppa - make own bed and keep own stuff tidy.

Much easier than babies ;)

@supernanny...

Tidiness I have not cracked! Well done to you.

My D is the funniest person I know, she has me in fits a lot of the time

She also has the capability to wind me up more than anyone I have ever met

Luckily atm we seem to be on an upward curve rather than a downward!

Tidiness, no, clearing dishwasher, no, interesting conversations yes, tempers yes, jokes wit and affection, yes.

It's like alpine scenery, glorious heights and very scary black runs and even scarier off piste bits (and I'm no skier).

I love my teens. I find teen 'stroppiness' so much more entertaining than toddler strops...it doesn't tend to last long, and they usually end up laughing with us because at this age at least you can communicate with them and point out the funny side of their tantrums, etc.

They are both great company most of the time, i love the loud music (not so much from DS1 now he is in the forces, but we did have a good inpromptu sing-along to random CD's this weekend as I was attempting to tidy them up, lol!) DS2 is very affectionate and appreciative and is going to grow into a lovely man...if only he had the confidence to see it! He is on the verge of leaving school for college, and I'm hoping he will blossom more over the next couple of years.

I was just thinking that ds, who is 18, is maturing almost by the day: you can see it before your very eyes. I love the affection, too. He sends me emails with links to music he thinks I'll like! Aw.

I am hanging on to the good times amongst the bad

GCSE's anyone ? < quiver >

They are still there, just

Public exams are home-wreckers. The govt devise them to ruin families and set parent against child, child against parent.

My son is not talking to me tonight because I won't let him take a gap year for the purpose of being deployed to Afghanistan next year for 7 months.

I have ruined his life.

I didn't actually say no, just asked what he'd do with his life if he gets both his arms blown off.

I don't know. All talk of University, buying a car, stuff that other 17 year olds care about is apparently completely irrelevant and vanilla.

sorry for hijack.

Thanks for highlighting how lovely they can be. I am struggling at the moment with DS 16, who will not agree to boundaries, but when we are not arguing, we have such good conversations. He is becoming politically aware and I love to tell him about the Thatcher years and the miners strike as it was my own political awakening. We also watch comedies and films together and have the same sense of humour. In a way, the fact that we are so alike, is why we argue so much - and we say that to each other too. So, yes, I can see beyond this patch, to the lovely young man he is destined to be!

Oh Cassidee - that is soooooooooooo spot on

GCSE study monitoring can be tough. However, to see them achieve is a good feeling.

Boundary setting is part of the teenage phase and most will rally against that. However, the hugs and good conversations are so heart warming. For their sake, we have to stay positive about them as being a teenager can be tough for them. My Ds is hard work but becoming such a nice, decent young man.

Mine are 16 & 18 and completely fab . We have GCSEs and A levels approaching so revision has just started, so far that's going OK too with only a few reminders to get on with it needed so far. They do so many exams all the time these days it doesn't really feel like any different to eg last summer - the thought of exams is worse than the reality I think.