Keeping glasses on a 14 year old

[Suzy4231]

Since starting secondary school my DD has taken to removing her glasses as soon as she leaves the house to walk to school in the morning and I'm at my wits end. She's worn them without any sort of issue for years and admits she can see much better with them than without them. I only found out when her teacher contacted me asking why my DD was no longer wearing her glasses.

I'm really worried for her safety without them, particularly walking to and from school as her eyesight without them is appalling and she struggles to see cars or people she's talking to properly, not that she admits that she struggles.

Would really appreciate some advice on how to proceed. Suzy

contact lenses...my DD has had them for 2 years now and she is 13

Could you try contact lenses? Presumably she's feeling self conscious about wearing the glasses? Or perhaps she just doesn't like that particular pair?

Thanks for the quick response.

Unfortunately she's been told she's too shortsighted for contacts so she's stuck with glasses. I've offered her new glasses more than once whenever she gets a new prescription but she's not been interested at all unfortunately.

I'd get a second opinion re being too shortsighted for contacts.

I know why she's doing it, because that was what I did at her age. The first time I went to beg the optician (I was under the hospital optician because my eyes were/are so bad) he told me I wasn't an ideal candidate for contacts. I kept on and finally at 17 he reluctantly let me have them and I've never looked back.

What is her prescription? I am -7 with an astigmatism and have contacts...

Her prescription is -8.5 so you can understand why I'm keen she keeps her glasses on. As for contacts the optician said that at this stage she's too shortsighted for them, but perhaps in the future if her eyesight stabilises.

To be honest though I'm more worried about her now. I don't think I can stop worrying for the 3 or 4 years before she is able to get contacts.

but why would she be TOO shortsighted for them

they make contact lenses for -8.5, don't they?

really, go to another optician and see what they think...

I am more short sighted than your daughter with astigmatism, and my optician has said I can have contact lenses so it may be worth getting a second opinion.

A funky new frame? DS is in Y7 at the local large secondary school. He wears glasses, so do some of his friends. All have funky designery (not too expensive) frames from the adult section.
He point blank refused to go to secondary school wearing his old glasses (which were from the kids NHS section at the opticians). So we bought him some Pepe Jeans ones (yes I know, they are not exactly trendy but the frames are cool) from the adult section in the exact colours to match his secondary school uniform (black with a bit of red) and he looks funky. In fact two of his friends have very similar glasses in similar colours.

Worth a try?

Thanks.

The optician said that wearing contacts with her prescription/at this stage would give her a lazy eye, but I think I might get a second opinion after what some on here have kindly suggested.

As for her glasses they're the ones she's chosen. I always let her chose her own within reason as it's her that has to wear them. I get the feeling it's the principle of having to wear glasses that she hates rather than the glasses themselves.

Be nice for her to have more than one pair to choose from to wear if you can possibly afford it?

I am also in favour of bribery for big kids who need to be encouraged to do things that are good for them, worth a try?

my 15 year old had the same problem, and this included the lazy eye which was so severe that the moment she took her glasses off the eye went straight in!!!! her prescription is +6.5 and +8.2, so as u can imagine we alway thought contacts were out of the question, last year after starting secondary school she hated the glasses and i thgought id enquire about contacts, and success it wasnt a problem he give her a trial pack there and then, it even keeps her lazy eye straight, we have never looked back, shes happy im happy, and as for the expense i now buy them directly on line and get 2 mts supply for £23,
please do look into this........

Definitely try lenses. My dd has quite a difficult prescription and we had to try a number of different lenses before the optician was happy with the quality of her vision (she tried dailies, 2 weeklies and monthlies). She still wears glasses for exams or if she is feeling tired, but for 90% of the time she wears her contacts. We have been really pleased with them and she looks so lovely now. She started wearing glasses at 18 months and has a squint, lazy eye and astigmatism. She has always been the girl with the glasses, so to see her looking so fabulous now has been so brilliant for us all. The boys all seem to appreciate it too!!

Definitely try lenses..they do make them for you DD's level of shortsightedness! I should know.. I've worn them for many years:) I was just like your DD... I would struggle without (God knows how but I walked into the gents by mistake MANY times as a teen) but I got contacts and have never looked back.. I wear my glasses in the evening when I'm tired.

I'm just at the 'shall we' stage with my DS2 ..he is 14 with a +8.00 prescription..he's long sighted.. he has learning difficulties and dyspraxia but our optician still reckons we can give it a try!
Find a different optician and give it a go:)

Thanks for the advice lovely people.

I took her to another opticians yesterday and unfortunately he agree with the first that she is unsuitable for contacts. Obviously my DD was upset, and now she if refusing to wear her glasses at all.

Is it safe just to get her contacts anyway, against advice?

I am surprised that they won't even try. We went to an independent opticians (ie, not specsavers) and they were very professional about it. My dd has a squint that corrects when wearing glasses so we had to be very careful that her eye didn't turn when wearing lenses and had to keep going back every month for the first 6 months. She is also very long sighted and it wasn't easy to find a pair that suited her or was even available in her strength. Also we had the astigmatism problem. She really hasn't looked back since using them. Very short sighted people can often wear dailies I think. Don't know what to say as if my dd can wear lenses I would have thought anyone can.

Sorry for the badly written message! I should have read it through before I pressed post.

I wouldn't get her contact lenses, if two opticians have said the same thing. She would really regret it if wearing contacts at 14 jeopardised her chances of wearing them when she is older.

I have eyesight as bad as your daughter (I think it was about -7.50 when I was 14, but is now -.8.50 in one eye and -8.00 in the other). I really do sympathise with her. It must feel so unfair. It's awful when you are very badly short-sighted, because even if you go for the ultra thin frames, they still make your eyes look much, much smaller. I used to hate the way my glasses made me look. I still feel happier wearing contact lenses.

Can I ask how on earth she manages to do anything without her glasses? I don't think I could get more than a few yards from my front door without wearing my glasses or contact lenses.

Now I think you're going to have to help her feel more confident in her glasses and convince her that she looks good in them. Has something happened at school to make her suddenly self-conscious about them?

I think you also need to emphasise that it's likely she can have contacts in the future, but if she won't wear her glasses or insists on contact lenses now, in the long run that may mean she'll be limited to glasses indefinitely.

Does your daughter wear make-up? I was beginning to use eye make-up at around her age. Maybe you can bribe her with some beauty treatments to encourage her to wear her glasses, which 'open up' the eyes and counteract the fact that the glasses make them look smaller, such as an eyelash tint, a make-up class (maybe somebody can show her how to subtly apply eyeliner to enlarge her eyes beneath her glasses) and maybe eyebrow threading, as shaped eyebrows can really bring out the eyes (although go with somebody who will make sure they look nice and natural). I know the idea of a 14 year old having beauty treatments may not be all that appealing, but if it helps her feel more confident about wearing her glasses, then it may be worth it?

If you can afford it, it might also be worth looking into getting her an obviously designer pair of glasses with ultra thin lenses as well - she might be less self-conscious about some overtly 'cool' glasses.

sorry, I meant "even if you go for the ultra thin lenses", not frames.

I feel for her. I've got Snellen scores of 6/15 in one eye and 6/18 in the other, so I HAVE to wear my glasses or I can't really function. I do try not wearing them occasionally, eg: if I'm out with friends for a posh meal and have done my eyes up nicely and don't want to hide them behind glasses.

I think in your case, I would try to explain that although she thinks it's OK to not wear them, she could be doing more damage and that could make the situation even worse. But after that, I think you'll need to back off for a while before trying to broach the subject again.

This probably isn't helpful if the opticians have said she's not a good candidate, but were you asking about all contact lenses, or just soft ones?

The reason I ask is that my dd (then 8) was prescribed rigid gas permeable lenses in an attempt to slow the progression of her shortsightedness (-6 in both eyes and rapidly worsening). DH was given RGP lenses 30 yrs ago at the age of 10 for the same reason.

I know it is still unproven, with evidence on both sides, but there seems to be some possibility that they can help - details here. DD's were prescribed by a specialist who has been involved in contact lens studies with young children, so I'm pretty comfortable that he knows what he's doing.

(Unfortunately, she couldn't get the hang of putting them in & out at all, so has now been advised now to wait a year or so & try again.)

havent read the whole thread but she is def not too shorsighted to wear contacts. thre might be something else why they are not suitable for her, but certainly not too shorsighted.
and you can walk around without that kind of prescription, i do that quite easily and have -9.5. you DO see people and cars ;)

i think you should consult more then two opticians. i have had a problem with my new glasses and consulted about eight places and their opinions varied hugely.
also would a doctor have something to say about it or does one not see a doctor in the uk for having eyes examined? /sorry, i am not british and dont have the experience how it works./