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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

arse. 3 different people have asked DD if she is eating properly.

29 replies

Crevix · 19/05/2011 20:40

she has always been slight and small but she has suddenly shot up a bit (not much but a bit)and is looking very twiggy.

She eats fairly well, nice and healthy, good variety, but doesn't much like bread or potatoes so substitutes these for other vegetables. packed lunches for school are usually crackers or pitta with cheese or ham, a museli type bar and fruit. Dinners are 'normal' family meals.

She does ballet (twice a week) and both teachers have taken her aside to ask her if she is eating properly (bless them) and a teacher in school has done the same.

So calm me down and tel me what to do please.

She is currently eating a post ballet doughnut

OP posts:

cardibach · 19/05/2011 20:52

My daughter used to do this - shoot up without gaining weight, look skinny, then stabilise again. As long as you are sure she is eating properly, just keep an eye on it. I think for an active child you need to ensure plenty of carbs: does she eat pasta and rice? COuld you make sure you have plenty of meals involving these if so.
I know Nigella used to make her kids have school dinners as she said it was almost impossible to get the right number of calories in a lunch box without using lots of unhealthy stuff. My daughter has always had school dinners because that is a good excuse for me to be too lazy to make sandwiches I think Nigella may be right.

Original poster

Crevix · 19/05/2011 20:57

she's 15 so school dinners aren't cool (so i'm told)

maybe bump up pasta and/or rice. also good as leftovers for lunch.

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MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 19/05/2011 22:26

Don't stress too much unless you have reason to suspect she is preferring healthy foods because she wants to be thin... one of my girls is naturally stick like and has to eat massively to be normal thin..and she really just does prefer salads and veggies to unhealthy stuff. Unfortunately the slightest stress and she stops eating loads and loses weight horribly.

if your daughter is eating with you ok, and you are fairly certain she isn't throwing it up later, she is probably just on a growth spurt. If however she is not eating with you much, has 'already eaten''isn't hungry' then it is time to worry.

If you watch her for a while and DO have concerns.. get help fast. My eldest DD was always a healthy eater and thin, but supplemented it with enough junk in the form of chocolate to keep her body weight ok.. but got homesick when she started Uni , lost her appetite while not anorexic in the sense she wanted to be horribly thin, her anxieties turned into OCD over food and she is now scarily underweight. Most people could manage on what she can face eating and just be nice and slim but DD is now skeletal, in a cycle of stress and we are getting help for her. I am really NOT trying to frighten you but just to make you aware that you can become anorexic by accident rather than design..

Original poster

Crevix · 19/05/2011 22:36

thanks.

D is naturally small built and naturally not greedy (unlike me) she'll eat what she ancies, when she wants to. but if she's not hungry she won't eat for the sake of it (unlike me).

i do think it's because she has grown a bit. we et together most nights so i know she's eating at least one normal meal a day. i suppose spying on her at school might be a bit difficult? and she is incredibly sensible and nice and straight.

but i will be watching. like a hawk.

OP posts:

sharbie · 19/05/2011 22:40

what size clothes does she wear?? can you keep an eye that way iyswim

sharbie · 19/05/2011 22:41

know what you mean about the watching dd is much better at eating now but a few years back i was watching.....always watching

Original poster

Crevix · 19/05/2011 22:44

size 6 is roomy. about 5 foot 3.

i have fat ishoos.

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MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 19/05/2011 22:49

Defo keep an eye then..that sounds pretty small. I didn't worry when my DD was under 8 stone even tho she is 5 ft 8... but she dropped very quickly from about 7 stone 10 to 6 stone 8 VERY rapidly... because she was thin (and away from home) no-one noticed until it got bad..but no-one should be finding a size 6 loose .. that's when we realised how unwell my DD had become...

sharbie · 19/05/2011 22:51

v small i think. dd is same height but a year younger and v v keen on gym used to do ballet - she is def a size 10 and curvy but is chuffed to bits when she can fit into kids size clothes

Original poster

Crevix · 19/05/2011 22:53

she did have a second post ballet doughnut before bed.

OP posts:

ednurse · 19/05/2011 22:56

My sister was the same at that age. Had puppy fat then shot up and got all skinny. She has a shocking diet of carbs and chocolate but doesnt gain any weight (lucky so and so) she's in size 6 too.

Your dd sounds like she is eating well enough and very healthy too!! Besides the two donuts but we can let her off for that ;)

mumblechum1 · 20/05/2011 07:39

If she doesn't like potatoes and bread, give her couscous, rice, pasta, noodles (if you aren't already).

tbh if size 6 is roomy I'd be concerned. Have you done a BMI check?

lljkk · 20/05/2011 08:12

Size 6 is reasonable for 5'3"; I've got thunder thighs and I'm 5'8" and size 8. I think I'd think about making sure he's a healthy attitude towards food, good nutrition to keep her energy up, and not worry so much about specific numbers.

lljkk · 20/05/2011 08:13

she's a healthy attitude... obviously.

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 20/05/2011 08:18

But are the doughnuts a normal post ballet treat or because people have spoken to her?

Original poster

Crevix · 20/05/2011 08:26

normally would have a snack of some sort but doughnuts only because they were reduced to 10p. usually would have a crumpet or something.

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DilysPrice · 20/05/2011 08:35

Size 6s are larger than they used to be and not too unreasonable for a short slim teen.

Nuts are my top tip for getting calories fat and protein into a healthy eating teen, either on their own as a snack (or covered in chocolate) or built into museli bars - some of the shop bought ones are really calorie and nutrient dense so check the label for the ones which will pack the biggest punch.

Al0uiseG · 20/05/2011 08:39

Agree with Dilys, nutritionally dense foods will make sure she is getting what she needs.

Maybe consider a blood test just to rule out a few things?

Cattleprod · 20/05/2011 08:43

I used to get this all the time as a teen. Well meaning old ladies saying 'oh you're so thin, we'll have to take you home and fatten you up'. So rude and offensive.

People don't seem to understand that teen bodies are not the same as adult bodies, especially now that the average woman is size 16-18. Of course they will look tiny in comparison. If she's eating ok, still gets periods, doesn't always look knackered and have no motivation or energy, then her body is probably just in the transition phase between childhood and adulthood, and there is no need to worry.

Gotabookaboutit · 20/05/2011 08:45

Another agree with Dilys here - I grew to my adult hight 5 2 @12 and was superskinny but very healthy and sporty.Size6 is not unreasonable for a''new grown'' teen

Original poster

Crevix · 20/05/2011 08:45

she's really quite healthy, despite looking twiggy, she exercises, eats well, sleeps well and is happy.

nut bars are now top of todays shopping list. good idea. and my beady eye is upon her.

OP posts:

Original poster

Crevix · 20/05/2011 08:47

she hasn't started her periods yet. this is another small worry.

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littlebrownmouse · 20/05/2011 09:12

Hmm, I was super skinny at her age, ate like a horse, did lots of sport and nobody seemed concerned, possibly because when I was her age, everybody was a lot slimmer than they are now so I didn't stand out IYSWIM. When I look at school photos from when I was at school, the people who I considered to be hugely overweight would be average sized now. What I'm trying to say is, don't compare her to her peers, they could be overweight, she could be fine, but get hold of a bmi calculator for teenagers and take it from there. Did she tell you that teachers had asked her if she was eating properly? I would guess that she wouldn't have done if she had anything to hide, unless as some sort of cry for help. Disclaimer- I'm not any kind of expert in the field of teens or eating disorders but was certainly no more than a size 6 at her age (mum putting elastic into jeans is a vivid memory of mine!!).

HuckingFell · 20/05/2011 09:18

Cervix i was a super skinny teen who did loads of exercise and ballet and I was nearly 16 when my periods started. Round about when I reached 7 stones at 5'6".

georgie22 · 20/05/2011 09:21

I was a very skinny tall teen and was asked numerous times if I was eating properly, which I was. Fast forward 3 years to university where I spent my first year eating stodge in the canteen and I put on loads of weight. Unfortunately I've since had a tendency to be heavier than I should be although my height is my saving grace (from looking like a weeble!).

I think if you're keeping a close eye on her all should be fine. Sounds like she's just naturally slim but this has been made more noticeable by a growth spurt.

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