5 day exclusion

[sparrowwatcher44]

My daughter(12 next month) is in her 2nd term at senior school and now this!

She had been taking her phone into school and taking photos, I know a big no, no.She then posted those school photos on her FB page and a mum of one of her friends saw them
and complained to the school.My daughter was hauled out of class, made to offer up her phone, they asked her if she had been messaging(she has a BB) and saw she had, then they asked her to get her FB page up, they looked at the photos and she has been in isolation since Tuesday.Her exclusion starts today.She has been so, so silly and I feel awful as I fought with her so hard for her not to take her phone in but every one of her friends and practically the whole year does this so it has been hard.I know, and expect to get berated as I have been a weak mum but I'd like to ask how you go against the tide of normalness as this is what it is.The school obviously has a no phones in school policy which isn't working and I see it as a real problem, my daughter wants to fit in as every 11 yr old girl would, and taking in her phone is part of this fitting in.
A cautionary message too mums and dad's , we have had the police involved as DD took some photos in the girl's loos in school.They were innocent , of her two mates messing about in the cubicles, no siiting on the toilet shots, no up the skirt or knicker shots.We were so shocked as it can be interpreted as a malicious offence, which it wasn't and its a privacy issue because of where it is(toilets)and it could be viewed as sexual.She is 11, she went into the toilets because it was where she felt she wouldn't get caught, I know, I know, I know she shouldn't have had her phone.The school wanted it to be a criminal offense, I stress again she is 11, only 11! This whole thing has just scared me so much I was just so unaware.She has breached serious school rules regarding data protection is it? and its a child protection thing as she put photos onto a 3rd party or something site (FB) but all of her friends are doing the same .So I would say, check your child's photo album on FB.The police officer we saw, he had to do a home visit said that he would have to do something called a Merlin report and the social services are involved.

My DD doesn't seem to have really learnt, it is because before she hadn't been in any trouble, other than detentions for not doing her homework and that she is a bright girl she is getting the 5 days as it could be anything up to 45 days!!!!!She has a whole heap of homework which she is refusing to do, that will look really good won't it.
All I can do is tell her that no homework no lappy time or no phone messaging time.

has anyone else had this defiance over doing homework and how have they overcome it?

It is a bit OTT.

OTOH, I personally think that FB below 13 is fine but that it comes with responsible use - ie. in the evenings or at weekends, not from school where it breaches their rules.

What is the point of pictures of herself & friends pouting at mirrors in a grotty school toilet?

I would be addressing this by replacing the BB with a cheap as chips 'emergency calls only' PAYG mobile.

If her 'friends' are influencing her to the extent that she sees a 5 day exclusion as a price she's willing to pay to hang out with them & behave as they do (even though she's the patsy who got caught...) then those aren't friendships to encourage, tbh.

I'd be having a chat about responsible phone/internet use AND about bullying within friendship groups, tbh.

It's not the daftness with the phone that is the issue (school have sorted that, albeit in a heavy handed manner) it's the peer group that's the real problem IMO.

I believe the issue is that it is illegal to take photos of pupils at school and to publish them on a website without the written consent of the pupils's parents. This is to protect children from predators and that means these rules have to be strictly applied. At my school pupils are allowed phones switched off in bags but if spotted by a member of staff are confiscated until the end of the half term. Most pupils bring cheapo phones to school because of the risk of dropping/loosing/having stolen.
I would be very concerned about the OP's daughter in general. Most secondary schools run timetables on two sides, I would suggest the OP asks for her DD to be moved across, this would give her a fresh start with teachers and maybe she could make new friends without being seen to have made a choice.

It's illegal for the school to take & publish photographs without consent, but I don't think there's any law whereby students are breaking the law in taking/uploading photographs of one another, simply because they're on school premises!

Most schools have fairly strict rules re: phones & social network sites for a couple of good reasons: they waste time & are distracting, & they open up the possibility of cyberbullying.

The Op's dd has been 'made an example of' in a school where phone/FB use is endemic, I suspect, which is not great.

At the school where I teach, we'd've confiscated the phone, & contacted the OP to ask her to ensure the offending photos were deleted from her dd's profile. Then thrown a scare into the kid with isolation/exclusion - not iso since Tuesday & 5 days exclusion!

It's the parent's job then to remove phone & internet privileges until dd can be trusted.

Moving half year group is a big decision & it'd need to be an unresolved problem with this peer group. Unless the school is huge, it really wouldn't stop her coming into contact with her current mates outside of lessons! & who's to say the other population are any different?

Thank goodness the police still have common sense.

The school's approach is a waste of taxpayer's money, and could blight her career for life if she got a criminal record out of it. Don't those things matter any more??

Whatever duties the school thinks it has re child protection, it should balance those against other considerations. It sounds like "Safety-is-Our-Top-Priority"-Mentality gone mad :(.